It’s safe to say that no mental disorder is more shrouded in mystery, misunderstanding and fear than schizophrenia. “The modern-day equivalent of leprosy” is how renowned research psychiatrist E. Fuller Torrey, M.D., refers to schizophrenia in his excellent book, Surviving Schizophrenia: A Manual for Families, Patients, and Providers. While 85 percent of Americans recognize that schizophrenia is a disorder, only 24 percent are actually familiar with it. And according to a 2008 survey by the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), 64 percent can’t recognize its symptoms or think the symptoms include a “split” or multiple personalities. (They don’t.) Aside from ignorance, images of the aggressive, sadistic “schizophrenic” are plentiful in the media. Such stereotypes only further the stigma and quash any ...

“Your daughter has schizophrenia,” I told the woman. “Oh, my God, anything but that,” she replied. “Why couldn’t she have leukemia or some other disease instead?” “But if she had leukemia she might die,” I pointed out. “Schizophrenia is a much more treatable disease.” The woman looked sadly at me, then down at the floor. She spoke softly. “I would still prefer that my daughter had leukemia.” “This book is a product of a thousand such conversations,” writes research psychiatrist and schizophrenia specialist E. Fuller Torrey, M.D., in Surviving Schizophrenia: A Manual for Families, Patients And Providers. Getting a diagnosis of schizophrenia can be devastating. Families and patients alike think there’s no hope. What follows may be shock, shame and confusion. But schizophrenia isn’t a death sentence ...

It's almost the new year, a time to stop and reflect and make promises to ourselves to improve on something. I've been mulling it over for days. Big items like hitting the gym more often and losing that 10 (ok, 25) pounds seem doomed to failure. What, I've been asking myself, is a realistic self-improvement program that I can stick to and feel good about? Then someone gave me a wave. You know the kind: I let someone turn in traffic ahead of me, and he gave that little "thank you" wave that people do. He got to turn. And I got the "aha" moment I was looking for. It comes down to taking an extra 5 seconds to be thoughtful, kind, or ...

Lunching with a group of friends, all of us 50 and up, the conversation turned to holiday giving. (Of course. It’s that time of year.) “I wish my kids would listen to me,” said Rita. “I know they want to give me and their dad something special. But we know they are hurting financially. We know they love us. We don’t need them to give us things to show it.” Grace agreed. “My son moved back in with us this year because the only job he could find after college doesn’t pay enough for him to be independent yet. He’s having trouble meeting his car payments. The last thing we want him to do is spend money buying things that we don’t really need.” ...

It was back in the '50s. One day my friend's mother just disappeared. That Sunday as they gathered in the church parking lot, the other mothers whispered. My friend stood next to me and cried. Finally, one of the more outspoken moms broke away from the mom-huddle and put her arms around the girl. "Don't worry," she said. "Your mom has a sickness in her mind and is in the hospital. She’ll be back in a few months good as new. But don't talk about it. People don’t talk about mental sickness." As absurd as that tableau may seem today, it comforted my friend. At least she knew her mom would come back. She did; drugged up and passive, but there. She seemed to sleepwalk ...

Letters like these come in to our "Ask the Therapist" column every week: "My boyfriend freaks out if I go out with my friends for an evening -- even though he hangs out with his friends almost every day," says Angela. "I love my boyfriend to death but he's always putting me down," says Katie. "Every weekend we have to go see my boyfriend's mom but he doesn’t want to spend any time with my family. It's gotten so I have to lie if I’m going to see my own sister," says Kieshi. Angel's letter is only a little different: "I used to have lots of friends but my boyfriend wants all my time. I used to think that was romantic. Now ...

Why would a woman stay in a relationship with a guy who puts her down, hems her in, and perhaps even physically abuses her? Why would a woman hold down two jobs to keep the rent paid and food on the table while her boyfriend sits around smoking weed all day? Why oh why would a woman allow herself to be emotionally blackmailed by her boyfriend’s threats that he will kill himself or her or both if she even talks about leaving a relationship that is going nowhere? There’s no easy answer. Often it’s a complicated mix of a number of answers. If you wonder why on earth you stay with the guy who keeps hurting you in spite of promises to do better, in spite ...

Why do men so often find themselves in the doghouse with women? They try to please. They try to say the “right” thing. They do favors, buy gifts, work hard, and aim to live up to their responsibilities as men. The story is familiar. Adam has been married for 10 years. He goes out of his way to be agreeable. So when his wife wants her family to visit the week before his bar exam, he tells her it is okay. He wants to make her happy and keep the peace. Though secretly hurt and irritated that she didn’t consider him, he can live with it. When his in-laws arrive, he is late coming home from work, cordial and dutiful, though aloof. He finds himself inexplicably getting ...

The advertisement is one of those upbeat, slice-of-life mini-dramas: A mom is happily filling her discount store cart with board games we remember from childhood. Another mom reaches for a different game on the shelf. “Wednesday night?” says one. “No, Thursdays,” says the other. They both smile and head for the cashier. Cut to a scene later that evening when one of those moms is shaking the dice, her kids’ eyes riveted on the board game in front of them; a bowl of popcorn strategically placed nearby. Everyone is having a great time! The voice-over celebrates Family Game Night as this year’s big thing. Games manufacturers--whose sales for years lagged way behind electronic devices, video games, and computer virtual realities--have spotted opportunity in the economic ...

Help with the emotions late in the year typically focuses on the “holiday blues,” but there is very little press regarding the tension and conflicts that erupt during a season that's supposed to be about peace and joy. Intimate relationships are the proverbial canary in the coal mine -- the first to be affected by stress and tension. When we are upset we typically don’t snap at our friends or coworkers; it all comes out toward our spouse or intimate partner. "Stress" is another way of saying "demand." When you place high demands on an engine or heavy loads on a piece of architecture, you are placing stress on the engine or the building. The same is true for our emotions. ...

So you think your significant other is a sex addict? This list of frequently asked questions (FAQ) and their answers may help shed light on the topic for you. What is sex addiction? Sex addiction is an obsessive relationship to sexual thoughts, fantasies or activities that an individual continues to engage in despite adverse consequences. These thoughts, fantasies or activities occupy a disproportionate amount of “psychic space,” resulting in an imbalance in the person’s overall functioning in important areas of life, such as work and marriage. Distress, shame and guilt about the behaviors erode the addict’s already weak self-esteem. Sexual addiction can be conceptualized as an intimacy disorder manifested as a compulsive cycle of preoccupation, ritualization, sexual behavior, and despair. Central to the disorder is ...

This column is part of a series of vignettes representing themes common to families and adolescents. Different sides of a dilemma are presented – the parent’s point of view and the adolescent’s view. Then a psychological perspective is offered, integrating the views of both the adolescent and the parent in order to help family members understand the situation differently and learn ways to improve the quality of family life. The characters from these vignettes are fictitious. They were derived from a composite of people and events for the purpose of representing real-life situations and psychological dilemmas which occur in families. Mom’s Perspective Courtney’s mom, Jill, was beside herself. While Courtney was away for the summer at camp, Jill found a collage Courtney had made ...

For some families, holidays are just another excuse to get together to eat good food and to have a good time. They’re not looking for articles like this one because they’ve somehow figured out the formula for successful family togetherness with minimum stress. If you have a challenging family, it’s only human to be a bit incredulous and then more than a bit jealous to see other folks living out the holiday fantasy when you’re just trying to live through it. Just because it’s always been that way doesn’t mean you’re doomed to a lifetime of Thanksgivings where you just grin and go to your happy place until, thank goodness, it’s over! You can make a difference. You may even be able to start to enjoy ...

The holidays are upon us once again, so I thought this would be an ideal time to review some of the common problems people experience during the holidays as well as some tips for coping with these problems. The main problems people experience are increased depression (or feeling blue), feeling overwhelmed by stress and pressure, and overeating. Holiday depression is common and perhaps up to 10% of the population suffers from it to some degree or another. Depression is associated with the holidays because this season brings back memories of a happier time in our lives. We may remember spending past holidays with a loved one who is no longer with us. Or we may get depressed by seeing so many others ...

I thought I'd write a few words about the holidays and the blues, because this is the time of the year people commonly experience feelings of depression, sadness, and loss when many others are enjoying and celebrating the holidays. Holiday depression is common and perhaps up to 10% of the population suffers from it to some degree or another. It is usually related to the holiday season because it brings back memories of a happier time in our lives. We may remember spending past holidays with a loved one who is no longer with us. Or we may get depressed by seeing so many others who have someone special in their lives -- whether it be their family, close friends, or a ...