Women’s Issues Library


F E A T U R E D    A R T I C L E

The Season of the Have-To’s

November 21st, 2014
Small talk turned to intense talk when I spoke with the members of a local women’s group. When I asked about holiday planning, what came back was a flood of anxiety. “No sooner is Halloween over, and I have to start getting ready ...

5 New Mom Myths

secure_attachment_to_babyThe letters keep coming to our advice column on PsychCentral. New moms wonder if there is something wrong with them if they aren’t over the moon about their little one every minute of every day. Others worry that they aren’t doing it right or that the ...

Helping Women Cope with Infertility

Helping Women Cope with InfertilityI use various techniques when counseling women and couples during infertility. I begin by gathering information about the history and current status of infertility and treatment. I also gather personal and family history, and talk about the marriage and sex life of the ...

What to Do When ‘I’m Sorry’ Doesn’t Work

What to Do When “I’m Sorry” Doesn’t WorkWe all mess up at times with our spouses, kids, and others important to us. Misunderstandings and empathic failures cannot be avoided in close relationships, but aren’t necessarily detrimental. In fact, the ongoing climate of relationships is typically affected ...

The Stop-Drop-Roll Method of Managing Infidelity

bandaid-for-marriage-in-crisisOften, the most seemingly unrelated day-to-day events give us opportunities to learn from our mistakes and help keep us from repeating them. Our local fire station recently conducted their annual fire safety lesson for my son’s third-grade class, complete with the shiny red pumper truck and fun ...

African-American Women and Depression

listening skillsDepression is a huge health concern among African Americans -- particularly women -- but mental health is often stigmatized in the Black community. Although it can impact people from all walks of life, cultural habits and historical experiences can cause depression to be expressed and ...

Marital Rape

crying woman upset googleAs an advice columnist, I receive too many letters like these (names have been changed): Anna is a woman in her 40s. She has been in a conflicted marriage for years. Her husband insists on morning sex, even though he knows it will make ...

Don’t Fight — Be Happy

Don't Fight -- Be HappyProbably the most difficult thing we humans do is make a long-term relationship with another person. A relationship with a partner is different in kind from relationships with our children or the family we were born to. A partner is another adult ...

7 Persistent Myths About Marriage

7 Persistent Myths About MarriageMyths about marriage abound. Some myths come from pop culture. For instance, a persistent myth is that your relationship should come easy when you’re with “the one,” said Jazmin Moral, LCSW-C, a psychotherapist who specializes in working with couples in Rockville, Md. Other ...

Attachment Panic, or Why You Can’t ‘Just Chill Out’

Attachment Panic, or Why You Can’t 'Just Chill Out'All over the world, in many different languages, at this very moment (accounting for time differences), there are couples having a conversation that goes kind of like this: Woman: Why didn't you call me when you were going to ...

Safe with Me

BOOK REVIEW.
Amy Hatvany’s latest ‘can’t put down’ read and thought-provoking novel, Safe With Me, explores various themes - the role of technology in adolescents’ lives, grief management and dishonesty - but one that she truly delves into is the complexity surrounding domestic abuse. When Hannah, a single mother and successful salon stylist, tragically loses her 12-year-old daughter, ...

Mother’s Day is Family Day

Mother's Day is Family DayIt’s May and Mother’s Day is around the corner. However we may feel about the holiday, the greeting card and floral industries make it impossible to ignore. Mothers are supposed to be treated with breakfast in bed, a bouquet of roses, time ...

Book Review: Best Kept Secret

BOOK REVIEW.
“Cadence didn’t sit down one night and decide that downing two bottles of wine was a brilliant idea.” - Amy Hatvany Amy Hatvany’s Best Kept Secret is a gripping novel that explores the intricacies of a painful truth - the truth of addiction. “Cadence could be you, your neighbor, your friend,” author Kaira ...

Teen Daughters Need Moms Instead of Friends

Instinctual Detection of Deceit better than Conscious Efforts“I’ve tried so hard to be her friend. Why is she doing this to me?” Ginger, the mom I’m talking to, is upset and mystified. Fourteen-year-old Jessy has been acting up. She talks back to her mom. She doesn’t do all ...

I Love You — Now Change

I Love You -- Now ChangeThis is not the article you might have thought it was. This is not the one about the fact that people don’t change and why you’d better learn to just accept everything about your partner. No. This is about healthy requests ...

How to Manage a Critical Mom

How to Manage a Critical MomCasey’s mother is coming to visit next weekend. She doesn’t feel she can say no. After all, her mom and dad often have been very helpful. They paid for the two kids’ camps last summer. They are generous at birthdays. But ...

Parental Guilt Over Kids’ Perceived Failures, Part 2

Parental Anxiety Over Kids' Perceived Failures, Part 2Children’s struggles or failures -- real, perceived or anticipated -- can activate strong reactions of disappointment, shame and guilt in parents. Typically, this is most relevant in families with high-achieving parents whose children are inherently less driven and have ...

Phantom Pregnancy (Pseudocyesis): The Mind-Body Connection

Phantom Pregnancy (Pseudocyesis): The Mind-Body ConnectionPregnancy is an exciting time for expectant mothers. It’s a high point in women’s lives and one that will bring great changes. It brings many physical and emotional symptoms. A woman may feel complete and fulfilled when she knows that she ...

Parental Anxiety Over Kids’ Perceived Failures, Part 1

v Sometimes when kids don’t succeed fully, it reverberates with parents’ own dread of failure, leading to personalized reactions, or overreactions, and a cascade of negative cycles between parents and children. Certain families with children who are not high achievers, or who have impediments, are more vulnerable. ...

Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

Complex Post-Traumatic Stress DisorderMichelle was terrorized for much of her childhood. Her father was an inconsistent presence and her mother expressed outright disdain for her. Often when Michelle went to her mother for comfort, she was accused of exaggerating or being a "crybaby" and sent away. Starting at age 4 until she was out of the house at 16, Michelle was molested by several family members -- including her brother, her uncle and a couple of cousins. As she grew up, different men in the neighborhood also sexually assaulted her. At 19, she began dating Carl, who initially was very affectionate. However, he then began to be suspicious of different friends of hers and concerned about how she spent her time. This escalated into more and more controlling behavior and occasionally he was physically violent.

Postpartum Depression & Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

Postpartum Depression & Post-Traumatic Stress DisorderPregnancy and childbirth bring feelings of joy, excitement and anticipation. They also can complicate existing mental health issues and can create new mental health problems during the pregnancy, at the time of the birth and afterward. Mother and baby both can ...

Making Happy Changes in Your Holidays

Making Happy Changes in Your HolidaysThe holiday season has started and I’m often reminded of an elderly friend of mine. Whenever someone said “Have a happy holiday!” she always replied, “No, make it one.” She was right, of course. Happy holidays don’t just happen. Holidays are ...

Treatment of PTSD May not Be a Solo Affair

Treatment of PTSD May not Be a Solo AffairIt appears that use of the term post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) has risen sharply over the past few years. As talk of PTSD is spreading like wildfire, interest in treatment and research are on the rise as well. ...