Men’s Issues Library


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Don’t Fight — Be Happy

September 15th, 2014
Probably the most difficult thing we humans do is make a long-term relationship with another person. A relationship with a partner is different in kind from relationships with our children or the family we were born to. A partner is another adult ...

7 Persistent Myths About Marriage

7 Persistent Myths About MarriageMyths about marriage abound. Some myths come from pop culture. For instance, a persistent myth is that your relationship should come easy when you’re with “the one,” said Jazmin Moral, LCSW-C, a psychotherapist who specializes in working with couples in Rockville, Md. Other ...

Attachment Panic, or Why You Can’t ‘Just Chill Out’

Attachment Panic, or Why You Can’t 'Just Chill Out'All over the world, in many different languages, at this very moment (accounting for time differences), there are couples having a conversation that goes kind of like this: Woman: Why didn't you call me when you were going to ...

It’s Father’s Day: What Are You Giving Your Kids?

It's Father's Day: What Are You Giving Your Kids?American culture is becoming increasingly dad-less. Forty percent of American children are being born to single moms, and 24 percent of kids under the age of 18 live in single-mother families with no spouse present. The divorce rate, ...

I Love You — Now Change

I Love You -- Now ChangeThis is not the article you might have thought it was. This is not the one about the fact that people don’t change and why you’d better learn to just accept everything about your partner. No. This is about healthy requests ...

My Struggles with OCD in Recovery

My Struggles with OCD in Recovery"Are you being crazy again?" My wife, upon noticing my awkward and all-too-familiar hand gestures, has asked me this hundreds of times. I will complete an apparent pantomime audition of mere seconds, starting with a short series of pronounced arm movements and ...

Parental Guilt Over Kids’ Perceived Failures, Part 2

Parental Anxiety Over Kids' Perceived Failures, Part 2Children’s struggles or failures -- real, perceived or anticipated -- can activate strong reactions of disappointment, shame and guilt in parents. Typically, this is most relevant in families with high-achieving parents whose children are inherently less driven and have ...

Parental Anxiety Over Kids’ Perceived Failures, Part 1

v Sometimes when kids don’t succeed fully, it reverberates with parents’ own dread of failure, leading to personalized reactions, or overreactions, and a cascade of negative cycles between parents and children. Certain families with children who are not high achievers, or who have impediments, are more vulnerable. ...

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Following a Single Event

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Following a Single EventFollowing is an example of how post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can develop after a single traumatic incident. Tony had a somewhat stable childhood. Though his parents divorced when he was 8, he, his mother and siblings stayed in the same house ...

Fathers Reconnecting with Abandoned Kids

Fathers Reconnecting with Abandoned KidsJesse came to therapy with an important project in mind. Mine was not the first office he’d been to. He’d already been in a rehab program where he kicked a 10-year drug habit that had ruined his health, his marriage and his ...

Making Happy Changes in Your Holidays

Making Happy Changes in Your HolidaysThe holiday season has started and I’m often reminded of an elderly friend of mine. Whenever someone said “Have a happy holiday!” she always replied, “No, make it one.” She was right, of course. Happy holidays don’t just happen. Holidays are ...

Treatment of PTSD May not Be a Solo Affair

Treatment of PTSD May not Be a Solo AffairIt appears that use of the term post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) has risen sharply over the past few years. As talk of PTSD is spreading like wildfire, interest in treatment and research are on the rise as well. ...

Suicide Risk for Children of Northern Ireland’s ‘Troubles’

Suicide Risk for Children of Northern Ireland's 'Troubles'Recent findings are shedding light on the link between growing up in a conflict zone and risk of suicide. Over the past few decades, Northern Ireland has overtaken England, Scotland and Wales in suicide rates. To investigate the causes, Professor ...

What Aging Men Want: The Odyssey as a Parable of Male Aging

BOOK REVIEW.
I love stories and myths, and I am pushing 60. So the title of this book, What Aging Men Want, intrigued me. Author John C. Robinson gears his work toward men in their mid-sixties and older. Until men “experience the reality of aging and accept the inevitability of death,” Robinson writes, they will still be at ...

The Empty Nest: Opportunity or Crisis?

The Empty Nest: Opportunity or Crisis?Feelings of loss and anxiety about change when the last child leaves home are normal. But it often has been pathologized in popular culture as a disorder, disease or condition that needs treatment. Usually it’s not and it doesn’t. In fact, ...

Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage

BOOK REVIEW.
I saw it (marriage) as oppressive and outdated. And stupid and useless. And possibly very, very destructive. And I came away thinking it’s complex and long-lived. It must be here for a purpose, because it keeps being here. It’s always evolving. — Elizabeth Gilbert Committed is Elizabeth Gilbert’s honest and compelling sequel to ...

Some Quick Parenting Lessons for the Duchess of Cambridge

Some Quick Parenting Lessons for the Duchess of CambridgeI imagine that even Kate Middleton (the Duchess of Cambridge in England's monarchy) will experience her son, Prince George, throwing temper tantrums when he doesn't get his way or is asked to do something he doesn't want to do. ...

Are You Ready to Be a Parent?

Are You Ready to Be a Parent?From the moment you know you are pregnant or are part of a pregnant partnership, you are a parent. Even if the pregnancy ends in miscarriage, abortion, or giving the child up for adoption, the memory and effect of having started ...

When You Don’t Approve of Your Adult Child’s Relationship

When You Don't Approve of Your Adult Child's Relationship"What does she see in that guy?" The woman talking with me is more than a little upset. In fact, she is beside herself with worry and disapproval. “He’s not at all like any of her other boyfriends. He barely ...

Book Review: Gone: A Novel

BOOK REVIEW.
Cathi Hanauer’s Gone explores life’s pitfalls, changes and second chances, leaving the reader beautifully satisfied and content with the pages before them. The narrative alternates between the protagonists' contrasting viewpoints. Eve Adams must cope with the dawning realization that one night she’s wining and dining with her husband, Eric, and the next day she discovers that ...

A Summer Vacation Guide for Noncustodial Parents

A Summer Vacation Guide for Noncustodial ParentsFor the noncustodial parent who lives far from his or her children, summer vacation often is greeted with a mixture of excitement and anxiety. This may be the only extended time that parent and child are together. A few ...

Is Parenting Drowning Your Marriage? 6 Tips to Help Reconnect with Your Partner

Is Parenting Drowning Your Marriage? 6 Tips to Help Reconnect with Your PartnerIt’s a too-familiar story. James and Cindy have come in for couples counseling because they worry they have grown apart. With three children under the age of 12, they want to ...

Thinking of Inking? The Possible Impact of Tattoos on Your Job Search

Thinking of Inking? The Possible Impact of Tattoos on Your Job SearchAmanda has a lotus blossom tattoo at the nape of her neck, under her long black hair. Caitlyn has an ivy vine in several shades of green curling artistically up her right leg and ...