Goldstein describes mindfulness as “paying attention to something on purpose and with fresh eyes.” This is why mindfulness is so helpful. Instead of focusing on how badly we want the pain to stop, we pay attention to our pain with curiosity and without judgment.

This approach is very different from what our brains naturally do when we experience the physiological sensation of pain. Our minds typically launch into a litany of judgments and negative thoughts. According to Goldstein, we start ruminating about how much we hate the pain and want to wish it away. “We judge the pain, and that only makes it worse.” In fact, our negative thoughts and judgments not only exacerbate the pain, they also fuel anxiety and depression, he said.

What also makes matters worse is that our minds start brainstorming ways to soothe the pain. Goldstein likens this to the Roomba, a robot vacuum. If you trap the Roomba, it just keeps bouncing off the edges. Our brains do the same with scouring for solutions. This “creates a lot of frustration, stress and feeling trapped.”

Mindfulness teaches people with chronic pain to be curious about the intensity of their pain, instead of letting their minds jump into thoughts like “This is awful,” said Goldstein, also author of The Now Effect: How This Moment Can Change The Rest of Your Life and co-author of A Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Workbook.

It also teaches individuals to let go of goals and expectations. When you expect something will ease your pain, and it doesn’t or not as much as you’d like, your mind goes into alarm- or solution-mode, he said. You start thinking thoughts like “nothing ever works.”

“What we want to do as best as we can is to engage with the pain just as it is.” It’s not about achieving a certain goal – like minimizing pain – but learning to relate to your pain differently, he said.

Goldstein called it a learning mindset, as opposed to an achievement-oriented mindset. In other words, as you’re applying mindfulness to your pain, you might consider your experience, and ask yourself: “What can I learn about this pain? What do I notice?”

As Jon Kabat-Zinn, Ph.D, writes in the introduction of The Mindfulness Solution to Pain, “From the perspective of mindfulness, nothing needs fixing. Nothing needs to be forced to stop, or change, or go away.”

Kabat-Zinn actually founded an effective program called mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) in 1979. While today it helps individuals with all sorts of concerns, such as stress, sleep problems, anxiety and high blood pressure, it was originally created to help chronic pain patients.

“In MBSR, we emphasize that awareness and thinking are very different capacities. Both, of course, are extremely potent and valuable, but from the perspective of mindfulness, it is awareness that is healing, rather than mere thinking…Also, it is only awareness itself that can balance out all of our various inflammations of thought and the emotional agitations and distortions that accompany the frequent storms that blow through the mind, especially in the face of a chronic pain condition,” Kabat-Zinn writes in the book.

Mindfulness provides a more accurate perception of pain, according to Goldstein. For instance, you might think that you’re in pain all day. But bringing awareness to your pain might reveal that it actually peaks, valleys and completely subsides. One of Goldstein’s clients believed that his pain was constant throughout the day. But when he examined his pain, he realized it hits him about six times a day. This helped to lift his frustration and anxiety.

If you’re struggling with chronic pain, Goldstein suggested these mindfulness-based strategies. He also stressed the importance of paying attention to what works for you and what doesn’t.

Body Scan

A body scan, which also is included in MBSR, involves bringing awareness to each body part. “You’re bringing attention to what the brain wants to move away from,” Goldstein said. However, instead of immediately reacting to your pain, the body scan teaches “your brain the experience that it can actually be with what’s there.”

You’ll find helpful videos with a three-, five- and 10-minute body scan on Goldstein’s website.

Breathing

When “pain arises, the brain reacts automatically,” with thoughts, such as “I hate this, what am I going to do?” Goldstein said. Though you can’t stop these first few negative thoughts, you can calm your mind and “ground your breath.”

Goldstein suggested simply breathing in slowly and saying to yourself “In,” and breathing out slowly and saying “Out.” Then you also might ask yourself, “What’s most important for me to pay attention to now?”

Distractions

A distraction can be a helpful tool when your pain is high (such as anything above an 8 on a 10-point scale), Goldstein said. The key is to pick a healthy distraction. For instance, it could be anything from playing a game on your iPad to focusing on a conversation with a friend to getting lost in a book, he said.

Mindfulness is an effective practice for approaching chronic pain. It teaches individuals to observe their pain, and be curious about it. And, while counterintuitive, it’s this very act of paying attention that can help your pain.

Some individuals experience a decline in mood with a sense of loss, he said. Others experience a loss of interest or pleasure in activities they previously enjoyed. Still others experience “an increased irritability, impatience or lower tolerance for the normal stresses of daily life.”

Chronic pain also creates many stressors, which can lead to depression, said Beverly Thorn, Ph.D, Clinical Health Psychology Professor and Chair at The University of Alabama whose research focuses on painful conditions. Chronic pain interferes with a person’s daily functioning. It lasts at least three months, more days than not, she said.

“People might be unable to work or work the way they used to.” Consequently, they might have financial problems, and a new role in their family. Patients have told Thorn that not being the main provider has made them feel worthless or like they’re not contributing to their family unit.

Treating Both Conditions

It’s important to treat both chronic pain and depression, Kerns said. “Many people with pain and depression say things like ‘If you had my pain you’d be depressed, too,’ or ‘If you would treat my pain, I wouldn’t be depressed.’ However, reducing pain doesn’t necessarily reduce symptoms of depression, he said.

That’s why Kerns suggested people work with providers who treat each condition (instead of an either-or approach). Some studies suggest that a collaborative and integrative approach is best. This study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association found that a course of antidepressants followed by a pain self-management program improved both depression and pain.

If you haven’t yet, consult a pain specialist for a treatment plan, along with a mental health specialist for a proper evaluation and treatment for depression, Kerns said. It’s also important to communicate regularly with your providers and pay attention to changes, Thorn added.

When to Proceed with Caution

One of the biggest challenges of treating both pain and depression is that feelings of helplessness and hopelessness lead people to try cures that are ineffective and even damaging, according to Kerns. “Continued doctor-shopping is problematic.”

Also problematic is pursuing more and more aggressive pain interventions, which he said only reinforce the “sense of helplessness and hopelessness and demoralization.”

Opioid medication is another concern. According to Kerns, there’s very little evidence that opioids are helpful for chronic pain. Instead, there’s “abundant evidence of the potential harm of long-term opioid therapy.”

For people with pain and depression, “who may be vulnerable to pursue these kinds of interventions,” it’s best to be cautious. Most experts “argue for very limited use of pharmacological agents and support education, encouragement and judicious use of non-opioid, over-the-counter [medication],” along with a healthy lifestyle and self-management techniques, he said.

How Psychotherapy Helps

Experts used to think that the amount of pain a person felt was equal to the amount of damage in their body, Thorn said. Today, however, we know that our thoughts and emotions can influence the perception of pain, making it much worse or less intense, she said. Psychotherapies, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), harness this concept “by re-teaching your brain.”

Research has found that CBT is highly effective for managing both pain and depression. (“Some of the strongest evidence supports CBT,” Kerns said. But he also noted that other therapies such as behavioral activation and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy show promise.)

For instance, CBT teaches individuals to pay attention to their thought processes, which can maximize or minimize pain. Thoughts like “This pain has ruined my life, and there’s nothing left to be done,” negatively affect your emotions and behaviors, said Thorn, author of Cognitive Therapy for Chronic Pain: A Step-by-Step Guide. They also make you more likely to get depressed and withdraw. Plus, “If you feel like there’s nothing you can do, you won’t do anything,” which is “really dangerous for someone with chronic pain.”

For instance, one of Thorn’s clients, who has lower back pain, kept saying that his spine was disintegrating because his MRI showed some damage. Thorn asked him how this thought was affecting his emotions and behavior. “It makes me panic, and I’m afraid to do anything.” This thought also spiked his blood pressure, breathing and heart rate. Thorn suggested he find another perspective that’s more realistic and less of an emotional noose. He came up with the following thought: “There’s still some damage to my spine, but no amount of surgeries will help that damage. [However] it is the kind of damage that would be helped with muscle strengthening.”

Today, Thorn’s client plans to work with a physical therapist to strengthen his muscles. “As soon as someone has an empowering thought, they start to feel like they have a little bit more control over their life,” Thorn said. “His spine is damaged. He’s had three surgeries. But does he have control? Yes, he does.”

Paying attention to your thoughts is especially helpful when your pain level rises. For instance, Thorn suggested asking yourself, “What just went through my mind? What am I saying to myself?” If you become aware of a negative thought that’s emotionally laden for you, “stop, breathe and then consider your options.” This helps to interrupt your reflexive reactions, such as lashing out at yourself or your loved ones. It helps you choose a different path, and reminds you that you have more control than you think you do, she said.

In CBT, along with other therapies like behavioral activation, clinicians also help patients discover the kinds of physical activities they can engage in without exacerbating their pain, Thorn said. They also help them make realistic goals and manage defeatist thinking.

For instance, a person who used to run 10 miles might be able to walk for a few minutes today. They might easily think that such a minor activity isn’t even worth it. However, as Thorn said, walking for 5 minutes several days a week adds up. Soon you might be able to walk for five days, and so on. “That kind of gradual increase will build on itself.” Plus, regular physical activity helps to improve mood and energy levels.

Living with chronic pain can be especially debilitating. It can lead to or exacerbate clinical depression. Fortunately, these conditions are highly treatable. The key is to seek treatment for both, and to remember that a fulfilling life is absolutely possible.

Further Reading

Thorn and Kerns both recommended the book Managing Pain Before It Manages You by Dr. Margaret A. Caudill. Kerns suggested John Otis’s Managing Chronic Pain: A Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy Approach Workbook.

Also, these are excellent organizations: the American Chronic Pain Association, led by people with chronic pain, and the American Pain Society, Kerns said.

“I’m still surprised at the number of people who come to therapy to learn how to get someone else to change,” said Ryan Howes, Ph.D, a clinical psychologist and author of the popular blog “In Therapy.” “They want to know how to get their boss to talk to them differently, or want their wife to appreciate them more, or want their friends to be more considerate.”

Of course the only person you can change is yourself. That includes changing your beliefs, behaviors, reactions and patterns. As therapist Joyce Marter, LCPC, said, “In therapy, change may mean letting go of dysfunctional relationship patterns, irrational beliefs and self-sabotaging behaviors and then replacing them with a more positive, conscious and proactive mode of operation that leads to greater happiness, wellness and success.”

Why is Change so Hard?

According to clinical psychologist Christina G. Hibbert, PsyD, change is difficult because most people don’t know how to change, or we’re just not ready. She believes there are six stages of change, which are part of the “transtheoretical model of change.” This model demonstrates that change isn’t linear but a spiral. She said:

Most people spiral up and down the six stages of change several times before they actually make change that lasts. That’s just part of the nature of change.

As I always say, “As long as you’re in the spiral, you’re making progress. It doesn’t matter whether you’re spiraling up or down, what counts is that you keep on working.” Teaching this to my clients helps them see they’re actually doing better than they think.

(Hibbert explains the model in this post.)

Sometimes change isn’t really what you want. Howes gave an example of a husband who thought he wanted his wife to change.

I’ve worked with couples who claimed to want changes from their partner, but when change happens they want the old familiar dynamic back. A husband wants his wife to be more social, for example, but when she branches out he feels jealous and wants the homebody back. I encourage couples to be clear about the change they ask for, and prepared for that change to occur.

We also gravitate toward the familiar, and fear the unfamiliar, said Marter, owner of the counseling practice Urban Balance. “Change can be scary because people fear the unknown, perceived loss of relationships or the risk of failure.”

Howes quoted the common saying: “The devil we know is better than the devil we don’t.”

Some people hyperfocus on external changes. “I’d say that so many of us struggle with external change because we secretly hope we can bypass the true work which is changing how we feel inside,” said Jeffrey Sumber, M.A., a psychotherapist, author and teacher. Put another way, “when we place too much concern in things looking different then we tend to overlook the deeper need to shift our internal climate.”

Change is tough because it also takes time. According to Serani, “It takes time to discover patterns that create undesirable thoughts and behaviors. It also takes time to understand what issues get in the way of achieving your goals once you know what you need to change.”

Naturally, resisting change is normal, Marter said. “Breaking through defense mechanisms and developing the tools to think and operate differently is a process with ups and downs.”

While change is difficult, it’s to be expected. “I think we need to recognize the inevitability of change. We are all changing in some way or another, every day,” said clinical psychologist John Duffy, Ph.D, author of the book The Available Parent: Radical Optimism for Raising Teens and Tweens.

How Therapists Facilitate Change

“I try to teach clients to be like a super-sleuthing detective. I want them not to just crave change, but to be immensely curious about it,” Serani said. In fact, she believes that “enthusiastic curiosity” helps us develop insight and replace old behaviors with new ones much faster.

Healthy change, she said, happens when we ask key questions, such as “Why isn’t this new technique working? What’s getting in the way? How can we make it work better?”

Hibbert, an expert in postpartum mental health, helps her clients learn how to change. “My job as a psychologist is to provide the ‘how’ so the client can get to work. I’ve seen many people make amazing changes, so I know it’s possible. You just have to believe it’s possible for you.”

Howes helps clients gain a clearer understanding of the trade-offs of change.

As pessimistic as it might sound, I try to help people know that change means trading in one set of problems for another. Sure, there may be some clear benefits to change, but there is always a different set of hardships to endure.

Just ask the people who win the lottery. Financial problems are solved, but a host of new problems emerge. If they’re informed and prepared for their new set of problems, change may be welcomed instead of dreaded.

Change is an inside job. Marter quoted Eckhart Tolle, author of The Power of Now, who said: “If we get the inside right, the outside will fall into place.” She explained:

Many people think if they have the perfect job, house, relationship, or body, they will finally be happy. Through therapy, I help clients make internal changes – such as detachment from ego, focus on essence, silencing the inner critic, practicing positive thinking and gratitude – that lead to positive change in life.

Marter teaches her clients to recognize that it’s “inner forces” that determine their lives, not external ones. This way “they feel empowerment to enact positive change in their lives, both personally and professionally.”

Plus, she teaches them to practice assertive communication, which includes “asking for what they need, setting healthy limits and boundaries and saying no to old patterns that are no longer serving them.”

Sumber also helps his clients transfer the focus from external change to internal transformation.

I work with clients to release their expectation of external manifestations and allow for a shift in their conscious awareness of who they are and why they are doing what they are doing. Most clients are surprised in the end to find that things have indeed shifted externally as a result.

Duffy helps clients foster self-awareness, which he views as a requisite “for satisfactory, proactive change. Otherwise, we are simply reacting to life, and often feel we are victim to it.”

Real change requires work and effort. As Serani said, “toxic tendencies or undesirable thoughts don’t happen overnight. They are created and cultivated over time. And the same goes for change. It doesn’t happen overnight either.”

Positive change is a process that ebbs and flows. But it’s worth it. Change is “an essential part of healing and development,” Marter said.

Food allergies or intolerances can have a great effect on your mood. For example, if you have gluten allergy or intolerance, consumption of gluten (found largely in wheat products) can leave you feeling sluggish or even depressed. Dietary changes have been suggested for children with ADHD or autism. This suggests there is a strong link between food, mood and behaviors.

Fluctuations in blood sugar also can change your mood. High blood sugar often can lead to irritability, while low blood sugar can bring about feelings of anxiety, depression and lethargy.

Research also suggests that low levels of vitamins, mineral deficiencies, and low intake of fatty acids and omega-3s can contribute to altered moods and mimic various mental health issues. Some believe that these deficiencies actually cause mental health issues. Insufficient levels of vitamin D, in particular, can lead to mood swings, depression and fatigue. If you have any deficiencies, your mood may be improved simply by adding supplements.

If you are interested in exploring how food may be affecting your moods, keep a food diary for at least two weeks. Record everything you eat and drink and your moods before and after. It may sound tedious, but it is beneficial. If you notice a pattern, you may wish to seek a nutritionist or experienced health care provider to assist you in making the necessary changes. Since diets should be individualized, you will want to make sure the changes you are making are appropriate and healthy for you.

Many people feel that it is difficult to eat healthy or to change their eating habits. It’s really simple if you keep it simple. Start slow and make changes over time. Using the all-or-nothing approach to cutting out certain foods typically leads to failure.

You can also make changes by slowly substituting bad foods with good ones. Experiment with different grains, fruits, and vegetables. Get online and find exciting new recipes, and you just may fall in love with a good food you never imagined you would eat.

Remember every change you make matters. If you fall off the wagon, just get back up. It’s about making changes to improve your emotional health. Don’t get discouraged or depressed if you slip up. Consider that day as a misstep and make healthier choices in the future. Here’s to a healthier you!

Relaxation is our body’s way of rejuvenating. It allows time for our mind and body to repair. It has also been shown that relaxing improves our mood and improves brain function and memory. When we are relaxed we tend to make better decisions. We are less impulsive and able to be more rational and have better clarity.

There are several health benefits to relaxation as well. Relaxation lowers the risk for depression and anxiety, hypertension, heart attacks, and other heart-related problems. It can also boost our immunity and lower the risk for catching colds. If we are stress eaters, relaxation can keep away those unwanted pounds.

When working with clients or even talking with friends, the most common excuse for not relaxing is “I don’t have the time.” This is probably very true for a lot of people. However, if we don’t have time to relax, we have to make time to relax. A wise person once told me if I didn’t learn how to rest, my body would take a permanent rest for me. That was a nice wake-up call.

Relaxation can be incorporated into our daily schedules. It’s not always easy, but it can be done.

For starters, you may wish to start your day a little earlier. I’m a chronic “snooze-hitter” myself, but I find that if I wake up a few minutes earlier, I don’t have to rush through my morning routine. Instead of running out of the house with my hot cup of tea, I actually have time to sit and enjoy it.

You may also try having designated times just to relax, even if only for a few minutes. I try to schedule these during my workday. When I take my break, I make sure I take it away from all work and engage in something relaxing. We schedule other important aspects of our lives – why not relaxation?

Challenge yourself to have a least a few minutes every day to free your mind. I call this “Free Your Mind for Five.” You can do it longer if you wish, but I try to commit to at least five minutes. I’ve found it easiest to incorporate this into my daily commute home before picking up my daughter.

For at least five minutes I ride in silence. I don’t answer the phone or turn the radio on, and use that time to decompress. I try to use this time for mindfulness techniques such as focusing on my breathing. I also take the time to observe my surroundings, but only in traffic or at stoplights (it is important to be a safe driver).

When all else fails, I try to escape. I think we can all appreciate a nice vacation, but more often than not we associate vacations with taking a trip to a great destination. What if we can’t take a “real” vacation? Consider what I call mental and emotional vacations; simply getting away from negative thinking, negative emotions, stress, or overwhelming situations. Getting away can be as simple as changing your surroundings. This can be done by taking a walk outside. If you don’t have that luxury, escape to the bathroom – no one really ever questions that. If all else fails, visualize being somewhere else.

The benefits of relaxation are numerous. It’s healthy to indulge in some self-care from time to time. By learning to incorporate periods of relaxation throughout your day, you will find a healthier, happier you.

The statistics regarding obesity in America are alarming. Currently, 35 percent of American adults are obese (CDC, 2012), and that number is projected to rise to over 50 percent in most states by 2030 (Henry, 2011). We’ve been fighting the so-called “war against obesity” since the 1980s, and yet despite all of our efforts, the problem has only gotten worse. Clearly, what we’ve been doing to try to solve this problem isn’t working and is possibly making it even worse. In my opinion, the reason for this is that the psychological piece hasn’t been addressed yet and until it is, we will have an increasing problem on our hands.

Years ago I was seeing a client who we’ll call Sarah. Sarah was very obese and desperate to lose weight. Her doctor had recently told her that if she didn’t lose a significant amount of weight she would lose her mobility as well as have a host of other medical consequences. Sarah tried numerous diets and exercise programs but nothing worked. She even enrolled in a weight loss clinic but had no success. She actually ended up gaining even more weight during this time. Not knowing what else to do, Sarah’s doctor told her that she needed to talk to a therapist.

When I met Sarah she was quite desperate to lose the weight and very depressed. Much to her surprise, I told her that I didn’t want us to work on her losing weight, but rather I wanted to work on her depression and teach her to accept and love herself unconditionally. This seemed the opposite of what she needed in order to lose weight, but Sarah decided to trust me anyway. You see, like a lot of people, Sarah thought that if she could just hate herself enough, that would motivate her to do whatever it took to lose the weight. As a therapist, I know that that is simply not going to work. We therapists follow something called the “Rogerian hypothesis,” which states that people tend to move in a positive direction only when given unconditional love and acceptance. Well, I’m happy to say that after we had alleviated Sarah’s depression and she had learned to love and accept herself, the weight came right off.

The current methods for helping people lose weight seem to be the opposite of love and acceptance. Much of the efforts seem to involve trying to shame and scare people into losing weight. This simply doesn’t work. The worst thing you can do is give someone more anxiety and depression regarding their weight, and I’m going to explain why that is later on. Also, the ways we go about teaching people to lose weight are much more complicated than they need to be. One should not have to read a book, go to a clinic, or take a class to learn how to lose weight. There is a very successful diet that has been around for thousands of years and all of the big celebrities do it. Can you guess what it is? It’s called “Moving more and eating less.” How you go about accomplishing this is up to you. I believe that losing weight is not complicated and that people intuitively know how best to do it when it comes to themselves. They simply need to stop feeling so anxious and depressed about it.

Obesity and Genetics

Before I talk more about how obesity is linked to depression and anxiety, I first want to briefly address the popular belief that obesity is purely a problem of bad genes. This is the popular belief and I can see why it is so popular. In a society where people are constantly trying to shame you about your weight, it can feel good to be able to say “Hey, you have no right to shame me about my weight! It’s not something I can control! It’s because of these bad genes I have!” But in order for this to be true, it means that our genes would have had to somehow change since the 1960s. Scientists agree that genetics is not responsible for the obesity epidemic, although they do agree it is a factor. Depending on which study you look at, genes only account for between 1 percent and 5 percent of a person’s body mass index (Li et al., 2010). I think that most people would agree that 5 percent of bad genes doesn’t excuse the 95 percent of it that scientists claim is due to bad habits.

When confronted with these facts, people often cite that most of the people in their family are also obese, so it must be genetics. However, the more likely possibility is that families tend to eat the same foods and have similar habits. Genetics also doesn’t explain why obese people also tend to have obese pets (Bounds, 2011). Obviously the dog doesn’t share the same genes as the owner, but they do share the same environment. Of course, we can’t mention genetics without looking at twin studies. Since identical twins have identical genes, researchers often compare twins to examine the effects of genetics and the environment on a person.

Obesity and Depression

Researchers aren’t quite sure if obesity causes depression or if depression causes obesity, but the two are definitely linked. In fact, the two conditions are so intertwined that some are calling obesity and depression a double epidemic. Studies have found that 66 percent of those seeking bariatric, (weight loss) surgery have had a history of at least one mental health disorder. And of course, it doesn’t help that the medications people take for depression and other mental health issues can cause dramatic weight gain.

Consider this: According to the CDC, half of Americans will suffer from some sort of mental illness, and most of them will not receive any treatment for it. 63 percent of Americans are also overweight or obese. There are almost as many Americans taking diet pills as there are taking antidepressants (8 percent and 10 percent). People with mental health issues are twice as likely as those without them to be obese, and that’s even before they start taking psychiatric medication (McElroy, 2009).

So why are people with mental health issues so much more likely than those without them to be obese? We know that depression and bipolar depression slows down your metabolism (Lutter & Elmquist, 2009). Depression also depletes our willpower, making us less likely to avoid eating unhealthy foods. Depression also causes us to crave high-fat foods and sugar. This is where emotional eating comes in. When we’re feeling down, fatty and sugary foods make us feel better, at least temporarily. Of course, you don’t need to have depression or a mental illness in order to engage in emotional eating. It’s something we learn at a very young age. Eating something unhealthy is much easier than fixing the problem or dealing with what’s causing us to feel unhappy. Teaching people how to deal with unpleasant moods other than by eating would certainly cut down on emotional eating and would certainly lead to significant weight loss.

So if depression causes weight gain and antidepressants cause weight gain, then what is the solution? Well, research has shown that talk therapy is just as effective at relieving depression as antidepressant medication (Doheny, 2010), and talk therapy doesn’t have the negative side effects that medication does. Another option is exercise. In a 2005 study on the effects of exercise vs. Zoloft (anti-depressant medication) on the treatment of depression, participants were randomly placed into two groups. On group received 150 mg of Zoloft while the other group engaged in 20 minutes of cardiovascular exercise three to four times a week. After eight weeks, they found that the exercise was just as effective at reducing depression as the Zoloft! Another thing to consider is that Zoloft has negative side effects such as weight gain, sleep problems, and sexual dysfunction. As you can imagine, the side effects of exercising are the opposite of that.

Life is full of stress. Sometimes it comes and goes and sometimes it lingers. Sometimes our stressors are small, and sometimes they are big. Stress may come from within or come from an outside source. There are different types and causes of stress. Understanding stress is an important part of stress management.

Stress management gives us the opportunity to take a step back and reset. We don’t want to wait until our bodies give us signals that we are dealing with too much stress. We want to be able to recognize stress as it comes and deal with it effectively.

There are two main types of stress — acute stress and chronic stress.

Acute stress is the body’s immediate reaction to a perceived threat. This is often referred to as the fight-or-flight response. This type of stress isn’t always bad. It can propel you to move away from danger, or in some cases even give you energy. Generally, acute stress does not cause significant problems. When acute stress occurs frequently or on a regular basis it can trigger anxiety, panic attacks, post-traumatic stress disorder, and other health-related issues.

Chronic stress occurs when there are several acute stressors that don’t go away. The body does not have a fight-or-flight response to this type of stress. As a matter of fact, you may not even recognize this type of stress at all. It typically builds up over time and the effects may be more problematic and cause longer-lasting issues.

One of the best ways to identify stressors is to keep a “stress journal.” As you recognize feelings of frustration, anxiety, overwhelm, or any other negative feelings, write down the situation or challenge. You may even want to rate the intensity on a scale of 1-10. By writing down your stressors, you may identify some patterns and triggers. Take time to recognize if the stress feels temporary or if it lingers throughout the day or longer. Observe if you are triggered by small things or larger issues. Lastly, identify if they are internal or external stressors.

Most of our internal stressors come from our own thoughts and beliefs. We have the ability to control these, but sometimes we become plagued by worry, anxiety, uncertainty, fears, and other forms of negativity. Identify if this is true for you.

External stressors are things that happen to us that we often cannot control. These are unpredictable events such as new deadlines or unexpected financial issues. These types of stressors can also include major life changes — positive or negative. These can include a promotion, the birth or adoption of a child, or unexpected health issues or death of a loved one.

You may wish to research some online stress tests. There are several versions that determine stress levels with a high degree of accuracy.

Once you have identified your triggers, you can start thinking of ways to manage your stress. You may wish to engage in relaxation, meditation, mindfulness exercises, or other stress management techniques. It is important to remember stress management techniques are often not an immediate cure. These techniques sometimes need to be practiced and used over time to be effective.

Recognizing stress is just the first step toward managing it. You may not be able to eliminate it because life happens, but you can learn to cope better. If you find that your stress is chronic and you do not feel you are able to cope or you begin recognizing mental or physical symptoms that indicate you are under too much stress, consult with a physician or therapist.

Dean, an English lawyer turned psychologist, is the founder and proprietor of the website PsyBlog, which he’s maintained steadily since 2004. This is his first book, and one suspects it won’t be his last. He effects a direct, bloggerly style, mercifully unclouded by the stultified prose plaguing many psychology authors whose backgrounds are different from Dean’s (i.e., career academics). Nevertheless, the book is carefully — even densely — footnoted with a trove of research studies, general readership psychology books, and online resources.

Professional psychologists likely won’t find a great deal of new material in Making Habits, Breaking Habits, and neither will voracious lay readers who’ve digested the likes of Dan Ariely, Daniel Kahneman, Timothy Wilson, James Pennebaker, Martin Seligman, and others of their ilk. Yet Dean’s book remains worth a look for these readers, if only to sift through the bibliography’s many nuggets and to read Dean’s thoughtful chapter on treating online habits.

Dean divides his book into three main sections: “The Anatomy of a Habit,” “Everyday Habits,” and “Habit Change.” He explains what habits are, how they show up in daily life, and how the average individual can set about changing, forming, or ceasing various personal habits ranging from the benign to the existential.

Habits in the popular imagination are most closely associated with either virtuous or vicious activities. On the vicious side, we think of deleterious behaviors like excessive alcohol consumption, cigarette smoking, and doughnut eating. On the virtuous end of the ledger we find beneficial routines like regular exercise, charitable donations, and daily meditation. Yet habits are inherently neither good nor bad, explains Dean. They are merely behaviors repeated with great frequency and regularity and most often performed with little to no conscious intention.

Whether good, bad, or indifferent, habits are an incredibly powerful and pervasive psychological phenomenon.

“In the war of habit versus intention,” Dean writes, “the fight is massively fixed.” Citing a large meta study by Wendy Wood and J.A. Oulette, Dean illustrates that regularly performed habits — from ordering coffee to checking email — involve little or no conscious intention. “It was only when [habitual] behaviors were performed once or twice a year — like getting a flu shot — that intentions took over from autopilot.”

Which is not to say that habits do not follow intentions, Dean tells us.

“Much of the time even our strong habits follow our intentions. We are mostly doing what we intend to do, even though it’s happening automatically,” he writes. “When washing our face each day, picking up an espresso on the way to work, or cleaning our glasses, it’s because at some point in the past we consciously decided (or someone decided for us) that these things were worthwhile activities, so we kept repeating them until they were automatic.”

If habits are automatic executions of intentions consciously set in the past, this means we can all end up performing behaviors that are misaligned with our long-term goals. For example, your expensive pre-work espresso stop may have made sense when your spouse was still earning an income, but does the habit serve you now that you’re a one-income household with a third mouth to feed? We know we should economize in this situation, and yet most of us will likely remain as profligately caffeinated as ever.

“What does this mean for our attempts to control ourselves and our chances of making changes?” Dean asks. He organizes the last two thirds of his book around answering this question. (Spoiler alert: consider re-routing your commute away from Starbucks rather than relying on a shaky mixture of willpower and good intentions for baby’s tuition fund.)   

In the book’s second section, Dean begins by elucidating how habits exert their omnipresent influence in daily life—from routine social interactions, to work, to travel, eating, and shopping. He then shifts to the darker side of habits, examining personal habit pathology as reflected specifically in obsessive-compulsive disorder and depression. Later, Dean zooms out to examine habit pathologies at the societal level relating to plane-crash prevention, seatbelt usage, and environmental protection.

Dean wraps up the second section with a strong survey of online habits, incorporating the latest psychological studies into an analysis of web multi-tasking, email, and Twitter. Synthesizing a wide range of research, Dean examines online behavior through the lens of Skinnerian pleasure reinforcement and through Csíkszentmihályi’s famous concept of “flow.”

Are you one of those people who just doesn’t understand Twitter? Perhaps the concept of variable interval reinforcement can shed some light:

As with email, on Twitter, an interesting tweet could arrive at any moment, but you don’t know when. You could get a batch of interesting tweets one after the other or nothing for a few hours. Because the intervals vary, users get used to the frustration of not getting anything interesting for a while—but they keep checking anyway.

(If you’re reading this article online — perhaps at the office — do you truly understand how you arrived at this page? You might do well to order Making Habits, Breaking Habits before you get back to what you were doing when your Twitter feed announced a new book review on Psych Central.)

The book’s final section moves through a survey of practical techniques for forming beneficial new habits and for breaking undesired old ones. The latter activity turns out to be a difficult proposition indeed. With considerably less grace than old soldiers, “old habits really do die hard,” writes Dean. “Even after habits have apparently faded away through lack of repetition, they still lie in wait to be reactivated.”

The reason cigarette smoking is so addictive, Dean says, is that it combines two cast-iron habits: daily contextual behaviors (like coffee drinking) plus the biological imperative for regular nicotine infusion. That’s the bad news. The good news is that “the best way to break a bad habit is to pair it with a new one.” For example, you pair your biological nicotine craving with the new behavior of chewing gum instead of lighting a Marlboro.

Dean concludes with a guide to practical habit formation and de-formation techniques relating to health, creativity, and happiness. He examines smoking, exercise, art, and work. As in the rest of the book, Dean’s academic overview of habit changing techniques and mechanisms is solid and substantial, though I wish he had provided more personal or third-person examples. While Making Habits, Breaking Habits is more scientifically grounded and less prone to overly tidy conclusions than Charles Duhigg’s 2012 bestseller The Power of Habit, Dean’s book lacks the compelling narrative force that the journalist Duhigg so effectively imposes on the material.

In addition to craving more specific and involved anecdotes, I found myself wishing Dean had sharpened and expanded upon his practical advice, which at times became repetitive. The book likewise could have benefitted from the addition of some interactive, “workbook”-like material. An attractive feature of recent heavyweight works like Kahneman’s Thinking Fast and Slow and Seligman’s Flourish lies in the frequent opportunities afforded the reader to test and measure herself with a variety of simple but highly informative psychological diagnostic tools.

Ironically, these weaknesses derive from one of Dean’s major strengths: namely, modesty. Dean neither evangelizes for a favored theory nor beats the drum for his own proprietary “habit cure.” Commendably, he merely sets the table for a reader to make his own decisions and implement his own modification regime. For my part, I took away a newfound enthusiasm for some long-forgotten CBT techniques and a resolution to avoid sugar and Twitter in the new year. Unfortunately, in so doing, I fell into the classic pitfall of over-general intentions that Dean warns about near the end of his chapter on healthy habits:

The true aim of personal change is to turn our minds away from miracle cures and quick fixes, and adopt a long-term strategy. Habit change isn’t a sprint; it’s a marathon. The right mindset is to wake up tomorrow almost exactly the same person, except for one small change—a small change that you can replicate every day until you don’t notice it anymore, at which point it’s time to plan another small change….

Fair enough. When I feel like desert at night, I’ll brush my teeth instead. My nasty Twitter habit will just have to linger on until I’m svelte and cavity-free.

Making Habits, Breaking Habits: Why We Do Things, Why We Don’t, and How to Make Any Change Stick
Da Capo Lifelong Books, January, 2013
Hardcover, 272 pages
$26

Breznitz, a renowned cognitive psychologist, is the founder of a method of brain training and development called Cognifit. Hemingway is a writer and technologist who has co-authored other books as well, most notably one with Microsoft’s late CEO, Bill Gates. Together, they show us the  role that experience plays in learning, as well as how it can set us up for cognitive failure.

While experience may very well be the best teacher in some cases, sometimes its very existence causes us to not even attempt to look for other perspectives or solutions, the authors state. They propose that much too often we use our brain as “nothing more than a huge storage bin of precedents.” This filing-cabinet approach results in our resorting to a process called “satisfycing,” which causes us to stop searching for solutions when we arrive at one that is “good enough.” We do this on a regular basis, especially with our daily routines. The speed at which satisfycing automaticity occurs leaves us with no opportunity to intervene and change the process. These “good enough” solutions, combined with inadequate or inconsistent reinforcement, lead to mental rigidity, which then causes our routines to become difficult to eliminate.

“Maximum Brainpower” touches upon many related topics, including Alzheimer’s disease, schizophrenia, dementia, cancer, depression, memory, education, experience, and technology. Perhaps most influential in our cognitive well-being, the authors tell us, is the role of stress. In itself, the process of stimulating our brains sometimes brings stress that falls into the beneficial category; a lack of stress can actually foster cognitive decline and rigidity (as in “good enough”). Research conducted by Breznitz demonstrates seven ways we typically deny stress and convince ourselves that it’s unnecessary to worry about its underlying cause. The authors challenge the reader to think about which of these behaviors they see in themselves:

• Denial of personal involvement (“It cannot happen to me.”)
• Denial of urgency (“It can happen, but not for a long time.”)
• Denial of vulnerability (“If and when it does happen, I can cope with it.”)
• Denial of anxiety itself (“I know something is happening, but I am not worried.”)
• Denial of emotion (“I acknowledge my emotion, but I deny its source.”)
• Denial of threatening information (“I filter the information so that I do not perceive any threat.”)
• Denial of all information (“When presented with the truth, I deny it exists.”)

This denial of stress, Breznitz and Hemmingway say, reveals how our brains can know something and not know it simultaneously—something referred to as “middle knowledge.” We can be aware of a suitable amount of information that causes us to put up our defenses, without even consciously being aware of doing so. The authors provide new approaches to take us out of the comfort zone of our routines and help us view the world in new ways, think differently, and build the brain.

While I was reading “Maximum Brainpower,” a news story aired on ABC World News that illustrated how we sometimes accept as truth that which we may never have investigated for validity—again, “good enough.” According to the news story, 47 percent of teachers and 66 percent of Americans believe we use only 10 percent of our brains. I am sure you recognize that “fact” just as I did. The truth is that we use 100 percent of our brains, but that the neuronal cells we don’t use, die, as in the adage “use it or lose it.” Breznitz and Hemmingway put it this way: “Neurons that fire together, wire together; neurons that fire apart, wire apart.”

While you could just go right to the end of each chapter for a summary of the book’s contents, doing so would cause you to skip an abundance of fascinating research and subsequent conclusions. Don’t “satisfyce”—instead, read the whole thing. It will be a no-risk investment with significant returns.

Maximum Brainpower: Challenging the Brain for Health and Wisdom
Ballantine Books, June, 2012
Hardcover, 288 pages
$27 

The philosophical zombie is exactly like a human being, save that it doesn’t have conscious awareness, and it doesn’t think. We’ve all had episodes of zombie-dom. The most common example I’ve heard of is when you drive to work and can’t remember the drive. Your body does the drive on automatic.

In “Reinventing the Meal,” author Pavel Somov opines that many of us are food zombies. We eat. We don’t think about what we’re eating, or why. This mindless eating can result in eating too much, not eating the right foods, not enjoying our meals, and not respecting where the food came from. The book does a decent job of describing a plan that readers can follow to go from being food zombies to conscious and mindful eaters.

Somov’s plan starts with redefining the “course” in “three-course meal.” Instead of a three-course meal consisting of an appetizer, main course, and desert, Somov suggests that we should redefine it to be more of an eating process that includes relaxation, connecting with your body, and connecting with your food.

Somov dishes out a bunch of tips, or “amuse-bouches,” to help readers redefine the courses of their meals. As I read the tips, I couldn’t help but compare each one to a micro-blog or Facebook entry. Some examples of these tidbits are:

“We are tubes—conscious, even spiritual, but nevertheless digestive tubes that metabolize the environment, through a one-way transaction, to keep on living” (p. 18).

“Desert is entertainment for an empty mind with an already full stomach” (p. 97).

The first of Somov’s “courses” is to reconnect with your body by relaxing. He suggests humming before eating, or mmm-ing, and cites research that indicates we release nitrous oxide when we do this. Nitrous oxide relaxes us. Somov also points out that it’s more important to breathe out slowly than to breathe in slowly. Breathing out slowly is relaxing.

The second course is to reconnect with your mind. Clear your mind to get rid of any emotional baggage that might tempt you to overeat, the author says. Preload your meal by drinking a couple glasses of water. Clear out your nasal passages (going so far as to use a Neti Pot if necessary), and then preload your meal with smell. Hot food emits more molecules than cold food, so heat up your food. Take a deep whiff and mmm, or hum, it out slowly.

The third course is to reconnect with the world through your food. The “third course” chapter amounts to breaking a bunch of habits. When you eat your meal by habit, you aren’t thinking, and therefore aren’t mindful, we’re told. So, we are to try to break our habits by doing new or different things. Try different foods, Somov writes. Eat with your left hand if you’re right handed. Think about your plate and trace its shape with your finger. Use different utensils than you normally would. Sit with different posture. Learn what full is and stop eating when you’re 80 percent full. Eat just enough. Pause half way through your meal. Use only one bowl for your meal and wash it between each different food you eat. Close your eyes as you eat or change your setting.

From experience I can say that removing vision and setting can make a difference in eating mindfulness. I went to a “Blind Café” for dinner with my family once. The event is held in a room completely sealed off from light. There’s not a single LED blinking in the room or a drop of illumination. It’s darker than being outside at midnight. At the Blind Café, I tasted and experienced every morsel of food during that meal like I never had before — and I enjoyed it.

Somov also discusses eating mindfully in the social setting. Anyone that’s ever been on a diet knows that social eating can be the downfall of the best diets, and Somov posits that this is because group meals are time-based (instead of hunger-based), are “group mind” events, are distracting, and can be emotional.

He suggests shifting your focus at these meals by changing your mindset from social eating to social savoring, from all you can eat to all you can taste, and from a mouthful of food to an earful of attention. I’m not sure keeping his ideas in mind in a group-meal setting is that easily done. I do think, however, at least in the beginning of training yourself to eat mindfully, that group meals should be kept to a minimum. (And training is like forming a habit, so I wonder: Can you train yourself to do anything mindfully?)

As I read “Reinventing the Meal,” I kept mentally comparing it to Mindless Eating: Why We Eat More Than We Think, by Brian Wansink. I liked “Mindless Eating” better, probably because it describes a bunch of food experiments (some of which are unexpected and funny). “Reinventing the Meal” is good, too: it just has less science and more philosophy than Wansink’s book. 

If you’re interested in food, why we eat what we eat when we eat it, and the philosophical approach, then Somov’s book is definitely worth picking up.

Reinventing the Meal: How Mindfulness Can Help You Slow Down, Savor the Moment, and Reconnect with the Ritual of Eating
New Harbinger Publications, September, 2012
Paperback, 216 pages
$17.95

Or maybe you’re a bundle of nerves. You are so anxious you just want to hide. You’re nervous about your job. You’re scared to speak up even when you know you should and could. You are so anxious that you are anxious about being anxious.

Or maybe the issues are about relationships. You don’t have one or the one you have isn’t the one you want. You and your partner are fighting all the time. Every day seems to be “same fight, different day.” Trust has become a huge issue. Neither one of you can relax into your relationship. You each wonder where the love and sweetness and tenderness have gone.

And then there are family issues: The mother you can’t get along with. The father who expects too much or too little of you. Siblings who are mean-spirited, favored, or so self-centered that you feel constantly taken advantage of. Parents who are fighting. Parents who are splitting. Family you are expected to like but who are entirely unlikeable – and here comes another painful family event.

Any of these types of issues can stretch a person beyond his or her ability to cope. Any of them can challenge the most creative, caring, and responsible person, You’ve tried your best. You’ve tried to look at a brighter side, to be rational, to be smart about whatever it is. But you still can’t figure things out. You still feel alone in your troubles and without the inner resources or the outer supports to change things. This is when people often go to therapy. You wish you could. But you have no insurance and you know it can be costly. The situation seems hopeless.

It’s not. Serious, yes. Hopeless, no.

Inexpensive and Alternative Treatment Options

There are many ways to get the help you need, therapist or no. Before you give up on the idea of getting some therapeutic help, consider these alternatives.

Sometimes therapy is free or low-cost.

Depending on your problem, there may be funded or subsidized therapy available to you. Many communities have women’s centers that offer free services to women who are being abused. Many have free services for adolescents. And an increasing number of communities have men’s resource centers to help men with anger management, relationship or vocational problems. Go online and check.

Employee Assistance Programs (EAP).

Many businesses and companies offer a limited counseling benefit. Usually the company provides three to six sessions. If you need further help, the counselor will refer you to a local therapist. Check with your human resources department to see if there is an EAP counselor at your workplace. Often even a couple of focused sessions is enough to offer some relief.

Sliding scales and free slots.

Many mental health clinics and many therapists in private practice have sliding fee scales so that people can pay what they can afford. Ask your doctor if he or she knows who offers this service. Call some of the therapists in your area and ask. Many therapists keep a number of slots at a lower rate as their way of giving to their community.

Support groups.

Often a support group can be very therapeutic. By talking to people with a similar problem, you will feel less alone. Often there are people in the group who are a little ahead in their healing and who can offer you good practical advice as well as emotional support. Local hospitals, libraries, churches, and schools often offer support groups for grief, parenting issues, managing chronic illness, etc.

PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) offers support to those supporting family members and friends who are coming out. There are also support groups online and in the community for gays, lesbians, and transgendered people who need information and advice.

Parent education classes.

Not all problems are mental health issues. Parenting is difficult. Often people new to parenting or new to a stage of parenting could just use some additional information and the reassurance and advice that can come from parents who have been there and done that. Often such groups are offered through the school system or through local parent centers.

12-step Groups.

Alcoholics Anonymous, Al-Anon (for families of problem drinkers) and Alateen (for teenage family members) offer support to people who are struggling with alcoholism and to their families. Other spinoffs include Overeaters Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Clutterers Anonymous and Parents Anonymous. If you think a 12-step program is for you, search your issue and “anonymous” and you are likely to find a group.

The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) has chapters throughout the U.S. They often offer support groups for those struggling with mental illness as well as for family members.

Online support groups.

Name a problem and there is probably an online support group for it. Here at PsychCentral, there are over 100 such forums and groups. Members are not professionals. They are people who are grappling with the same issue you are. Their compassion and understanding can help you feel less alone. Often members offer experience and wise suggestions.

Are you a veteran? Every branch of the service has a program for military personnel and their families. Call your local Veterans Administration office for information.

Are you a teen? Many high schools have free counseling available through the guidance department. Often the guidance counselors are themselves counselors and can be very helpful with both individual and family problems. Sometimes they know which therapists in town have free or nearly-free services and where you can go for further help.

Are you in college? Check to see whether the health services at your school include a mental health department. Often the health insurance you pay for at school can enable you to see a local therapist for at least a few sessions.

Hotlines and warmlines.

There are important hotlines and warmlines in almost every country. In the U.S., the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255) is available 24/7. The Boys Town National Hotline is also available 24/7 for teens (girls as well as boys). Google “hotline” and your problem and you are likely to find a number to call.

Houses of worship.

Spiritual leaders often have had training in counseling as well as in the practices of their faith. See if your church or synagogue or house of faith offers such help. If your spiritual leader isn’t comfortable dealing with secular problems, he or she may be able to refer you to someone who can.

Journaling or writing letters you will never send can be an important method for self-help. Don’t get put off by having to put something down. You’re the only one who is going to see it. Writing out what troubles us often helps us put our feelings into perspective. Often enough, a solution will come as you work to make your problems clear.

Bibliotherapy is a fancy name for reading a book. Whatever your problem, someone else has probably written about it to share their journey of healing. Sometimes we learn best from reading how someone else did and did not address issues. Search for your issue at one of the major online bookstores and you can find what you are looking for.

Prayer, meditation, chanting.

Anything that helps you relax and get out of yourself for a bit can do wonders for your state of mind. Turning your problems over to God, your higher power or the universe can help relieve the pressure and begin the healing.

Get off the screens and go outside.

Mother Nature is a great therapist. Stop spinning about your problem with online friends who are in the same spin and go for a long walk instead. Open your senses to the outdoors and you may be able to cut your problems down to a more reasonable size.

Talk to a trusted friend or family member.

You know who they are. Many of us have a friend or relative who is wise and loving and supportive. Don’t waste your time on anyone else. People who are critical or judgmental will make you feel worse. Reach for the people in your life who will listen with their hearts and who will validate your strengths.

Take care of yourself.

Getting enough sleep, eating right, and making sure you get a little exercise each day can do wonders for your troubles. You may not feel like doing any of it. But doing it, whether you feel like it or not, can help you start to feel a bit better. You will have taken a step toward self-care and self-love that is the basis for any therapeutic action.

Yet rarely do we find a book that is meant to help the helper. Robert J. Wicks’ The Inner Life of the Counselor is designed to do just that.

Being a practitioner can certainly lead to many life-affirming rewards. There is an almost intrinsic sense of joy that comes with helping others overcome the troubles life may throw at them. However, being a practitioner can also lead to burnout. It is not easy listening to stories of trauma or dealing with clients who may have outbursts of anger or sadness on a daily basis. Dr. Wicks’ book is a vital resource we can use to continually reinvigorate ourselves and provide the best possible care for our clients.

As the title suggests, The Inner Life of the Counselor is meant to provide tools that can lead to growth through introspection. Dr. Wicks states in his introduction that he hopes to help practitioners take note of their lives “more gently and clearly” and “fully embrace through practice those elements that can enhance maintaining a healthier perspective.” He bases his advice on a combination of his own personal experience (he has over 30 years in the field) and studies in areas such as mindfulness and positive psychology, as well as classical spiritual and philosophical ideas. In essence, his book is meant to help counselors keep a sense of peace and purpose among the relentless whirlwind of patient crises, insurance reimbursement headaches, and supervisory meetings that at times threaten to overwhelm.

In each of the book’s six chapters, Dr. Wicks explores a different area of mindfulness and how counselors can incorporate it into their lives. His aim is not to solve our problems, but rather to guide us to a deeper understanding of our lives and our work. Each chapter concludes with a series of questions to prompt reflection. Dr. Wicks gives plenty of food for thought, using quotes and excerpts ranging from Henry Thoreau to Chinese proverbs.

Of course, when it comes to a book such as this, the reader must wonder: Are the ideas presented actually useful in everyday life? It’s one thing to make a book full of “inspirational” quotes, but something else entirely to use such quotes as a framework for ideas that help us cultivate a better life. Luckily, The Inner Life of the Counselor definitely falls into the latter category. For instance, in the first chapter, “Creating Space Within,” Dr. Wicks discusses the importance of incorporating silence and solitude in counselors’ lives so that they may develop a greater sense of “humble gratitude” and become more in tune with their inner selves. He suggests that spaces of “alonetime” need to take place throughout the day — before work, between clients, as well as after the day’s business is done — and he gives advice on how to accomplish this amidst the chaotic schedules that the helping professions often necessitate. In Chapter 5, the author even provides a thorough “Self-Care Questionnaire for Clinicians” that helps the reader see which areas in their life they may benefit from working on.

As a mental health professional myself, I found The Inner Life of the Counselor to be a great resource for inspiration and personal growth. Though the book lasts barely 200 pages, it contains such a wealth of ideas that the reader will be busy for a long time thinking about it and utilizing its suggestions. New practitioners should read the book so that they may prevent future burnout, and more seasoned professionals may find that it simply revives them.

Being a practitioner comes with certain unavoidable stresses regardless of one’s job title or place of employment. Yet those of us who serve others owe it not just to ourselves but also to our clients to make sure that we pay special attention to nurturing our own well-being. Otherwise, we will not be successful in our care — and a vicious cycle may ensue. All helping professionals would do themselves a service by picking up Wicks’ book so that they may continue to provide care in a way that is both meaningful to them and those they help.

The Inner Life of the Counselor
Wiley, August, 2012
Hardcover, 203 pages
$24.74

This approach is supported by ancient wisdom as well as modern discoveries in physics, biology, and medicine. This worldview underlies many healing methods that seek to release energy blocks, limiting beliefs, and trapped emotions. Ancient cultures used shamanic methods and rituals to facilitate healing transformations.

In today’s society, methods that help us recognize and release limiting beliefs include muscle testing through kinesiology and using acupressure. This concept of consciousness in medicine isn’t really new. It is a system that has been lost or ignored as technology and the use of drugs have come to dominate medicine and other sciences.

Grayson’s book explores the evidence for the perspective that consciousness connects us all and provides the power to heal ourselves. He believes that each and every person has the capability to lead happy, healthy and productive lives. However, most, if not all, people subconsciously believe they’re not worthy of all the great and beautiful things that life has to offer.

This book has many excellent quotes and practical exercises to help readers address their own unconscious beliefs. The book informs us that we often have unconscious beliefs and intentions that lead us to create and maintain illnesses. Merely repeating positive affirmations won’t work, if those unconscious beliefs/programs aren’t cleared out first. That’s why these energy psychology techniques are so important. They help shift the beliefs/thinking and emotions at the level of consciousness.

Grayson cites many sources and evidence to show how emotions affect health and are keys to understanding illness. This book is best read carefully to really absorb and integrate the wisdom it offers. Opening up to its empowering perspective will prepare readers to effectively apply the exercises presented in the book.

As I read “Use Your Body,” I categorized the information into two areas: self-help and how-to. There are a lot of explanations on how people end up trapped in their negative states, whether they are emotional or physical; conscious or subconscious or even intentional or unintentional. Self-evaluations help readers explore what type of negativity might be affecting them. Grayson goes on to explain several approaches to break the negative pattern, depending on the individual.

I truly believe that, as he concludes, what you think does affect your health and the way your body works.  There were some things that made this book unfortunately hard to get through at times. I had issues with the very technical language he uses to discuss quantum physics.

I also found the book redundant about certain things, mainly how negative emotions affect the human body and how we have the capability to fix it without any third-party help. I believe the book could have been cut in half to make it more direct.

Despite those two personal issues I had with the book, I do believe in and support what Grayson is trying to get across in his latest book. We aren’t as disconnected from the universe as we feel. We have the ability to tap into its greatness and to heal ourselves without heavily relying upon drugs, doctors and different therapies.

 Use Your Body to Heal Your Mind: Revolutionary Methods to Release all Barriers to Health, Healing and Happiness
BalboaPress, March, 2012
Paperback, 336 pages
$14.27

Garret Kramer, a former collegiate ice hockey player and the founder of Inner Sports, presents a unique approach advocating a clarity and stillness of mind that can improve performance on the playing field and throughout one’s life.

Sports psychology is an interdisciplinary science that draws upon knowledge from kinesiology and psychology. First established in 1925, it involves the study of the interrelationships found between psychological factors and sports performance. The search for excellence in life, however, is as old as humanity itself.

What makes “Stillpower” immediately intriguing are the claims it makes that at first appear outrageous. The first impression is that either Kramer has hit upon ideas of genius or he totally misses the target. The claims he makes are bold enough that they must fall to one side or the other.

In his introduction, Kramer defines his Stillpower concept as “… The clarity of mind to live with freedom and ease; the inner source of excellence; the opposite of willpower.” In contrast to the usual approaches, he writes, “Yes, improving skills through training and practice is fundamental for achievement. Beyond that, however, no external mental tool, system, or model actually exists that will help you attain long-term success or personal contentment.”

Such an understanding depends, Kramer notes, upon a deep trust in one’s own inner wisdom. Kramer thus asks us to set aside all of our how-to methodologies of the self-help world and to trust in the fact that, ” . . . there is nothing you must learn, or even do, in order to get the most out of coaching, training, or playing the game. For the truth is this: you already know.”

That goes against almost every sports training approaches, which is always searching for a new style or method to enhance performance. However, by placing the required knowledge outside, an athlete is continually searching for a technique that they may have missed.

Kramer, in interviewing hundreds of world-class athletes, finds that high performance is very often described as “freedom”, “natural”, “easy”, “comes out of nowhere”, and “requires no thought.”

Adrenaline-spiking pep talks, deep-breathing exercises and attempts to control visualization only cloud the pursuit of better performance, according to Kramer. The external circumstances of win-loss records, performance on the field and all manner of worries are all like a murky glass of water. Nothing needs to be done, except to allow the sediment within the water to settle. Kramer writes, “This understanding – not trying to do something about errant thoughts – allows the minds of the most resilient achievers to quiet down in the midst of negativity. Such stillpower permits clarity, positive feelings, and the potential for success to emerge spontaneously.”

He thus puts instinct, inner-wisdom and insight at the top of his list of enhancing performance tools. To incorporate his principles of mind, consciousness and thought, Kramer asks people to trust themselves and not add obstacles to their own creativity.

By placing our state of mind or mood as the basis of our experience, Kramer hopes to empower. His goal is to place the athlete into the driver’s seat. In his last chapter Kramer concludes, “The time has finally come to stop toiling away at the strategies and methodologies of others. Simply look within to your own inner wisdom and understanding. Permit your own spirit and freedom to take you to new levels of performance, productivity, and contentment. Success is so much closer than you think.”

As an inspirational guide to achieving greater success in sports and in life, I find “Stillpower” as an excellent resource. Kramer’s work is well-supported by hundreds of athletes and coaches from many different sports.

For a training athlete or aspiring human, Stillpower is engaging, accessible, inspiring and complete in itself. Nonetheless, to a psychologist, who wishes to understand further details, Kramer’s work suggests several directions in the study of the psychology of optimal performance. The similarity of his work with that of Mihály Csikszentmihályiʼs “Flow” and with Eastern philosophy demonstrates that Garret Kramer has, through his own intuition, found a central chord in the play of optimal performance.

I thoroughly enjoyed his book and keep it nearby on my bookshelf. I consider this book a pearl of wisdom and highly recommend it to everyone.

Stillpower: Excellence With Ease in Sports and Life
Garret Kramer
Atria Books/Beyond Words, June, 2012
Harcover, 224 pages

This quote on the inner jacket sleeve of Dr. Gordon Livingston’s book, The Thing You Think You Cannot Do, spells out the book’s central idea. It also suggests questions that might arise in most readers’ minds. What if we  didn’t feel fear? How much more could we accomplish for ourselves and our society, if we could just push past our fears?

Livingston tells us upfront that roughly ten percent of Americans – 22 million — experience clinical depression. Medication and/or psychotherapy can help, but the real antidote is hope and courage.

Livingston, a psychiatrist and writer, sets no easy task for himself in this short and easy-to-read book. Many of the greatest minds of all time have wondered how to obtain these lofty and elusive virtues. Livingston’s approach may not be unique, but it is cleverly crafted. It is as if he’s examining a cut diamond, facet by facet. He divides the book into thirty very short chapters, looking at fear and courage from many angles and explaining his vision through real life situations.

By the book’s end, the reader gains a deeper understanding of how Livingston sees fear as well as courage. This analysis empowers readers to work at controlling their anxieties and strive toward more courageous and certainly more self-fulfilling actions.

In the early chapters, Livingston explains some working concepts to better understand fear. We’re all going to die and we know it, which worries us and causes us to avoid situations that put us at risk. Anxiety with its symptoms of a racing heart, sweaty brow, and general panic is related to fear. However, what triggers it remains a mystery. Both fear and anxiety can result in poor decision making, isolation, and failure to reach a person’s full potential.

“It is within ourselves, where we confront our deepest fear and insecurities, that we find our own forms of courage and cowardice,” writes Livingston. “Like any virtue, bravery is manifest in our habitual actions. Fidelity to an idea, risking ourselves to stand up for the powerless, refusing to crumble beneath the weight of time, all require a steadfastness that is uncommon in a culture dominated by glamor, celebrity, and instant gratification.”

Popular culture urges us to live in moment and grab ephemeral pleasures. Happiness is immediate, easy to obtain and easy to control. However, these actions often end up like an injection of Botox. The user may get rid a few wrinkles for a while, but it doesn’t stop aging. The wrinkles return.

Fear has consequences not only to us as individuals, but to society overall. Livingston repeatedly illustrates that through his examples of the 9-11 terrorist attack and the Vietnam War, in which he served.  After 9-11, fear spurred ostracism of not only Middle Eastern people, but people who resembled them and that area of the globe. This fear also spawned two costly, ill-conceived wars against Afghanistan and Iraq. It also prompted Americans to look at U.S. soldiers as heroic and courageous, which is completely opposite how Vietnam War veterans were treated.

Packed with insights and illuminating examples, Livingston’s book does tend to meander. At times, he strays a little too far off the trail with personal stories and examples.  For instance, in a chapter titled “Sometimes Courage Is Hope Against Hope,” he lifts a chunk out of a young woman’s diary during her difficult battle with a fatal, autoimmune disease.  He prefaces the eight pages of quoted material by telling us a little about Allison Caldwell and her passion for life. While the young woman’s story is moving and and her generosity is astounding, Livingston doesn’t elaborate on how Caldwell’s story supports his overall theme.

Aside from this and a few other stories that don’t quite hit the mark, this book is sound. It should inspire readers to push past their fears and take the high road that leads to greater happiness and fulfillment. “The journey begins within,” as Livingston tells us, and he offers us a good map to find it.

The Thing You Think You Cannot Do: Thirty Truths About Fear and Courage
Dr. Gordon Livingston, M.D.
Da Capo Lifelong Books, April 10, 2012
Hardback, 224 pages
$12.94