Domestic Violence Library


F E A T U R E D    A R T I C L E

Marital Rape

September 22nd, 2014
As an advice columnist, I receive too many letters like these (names have been changed): Anna is a woman in her 40s. She has been in a conflicted marriage for years. Her husband insists on morning sex, even though he knows it will make ...

Are You in Denial?

Are You in Denial?We’re all in denial. We’d barely get through the day if we worried that we or people we love could die today. Life is unpredictable, and denial helps us cope and focus on what we must in order to survive. On the other ...

Safe with Me

BOOK REVIEW.
Amy Hatvany’s latest ‘can’t put down’ read and thought-provoking novel, Safe With Me, explores various themes - the role of technology in adolescents’ lives, grief management and dishonesty - but one that she truly delves into is the complexity surrounding domestic abuse. When Hannah, a single mother and successful salon stylist, tragically loses her 12-year-old daughter, ...

February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month

February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness MonthAh, February: The month of love. Sadly, though, all love isn’t loving. February has been designated Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month to help educate teens how to recognize and stop dating abuse. If you are a teen or in your ...

Girl in the Water: A True Story of Sibling Abuse

BOOK REVIEW.
Tales of sibling rivalry are common: Marcia and Jan Brady, Cain and Abel, Ray and Robert Barone. But how often do we hear stories of sibling abuse? The darkness and fear that is encapsulated in Nancy Kilgore’s memoir Girl in the Water goes beyond what many readers can fathom. However, it is reality for Kilgore, and with ...

Book Review: Full Circle

BOOK REVIEW.
Anyone who has seen a homeless person, who has wondered why welfare exists, who has struggled to understand why another person is acting the way they do should read Jane Hersey’s Full Circle. This is a book on understanding. It shows that there’s a lot more than what you see under the surface of who ...

MANipulated into Fear: There is Always a Pattern

BOOK REVIEW.
If you are new to reading books about how manipulative and cruel men can be to the women they profess to love, the book MANipulated into Fear by Marvela Dawnay can be validating. Dawnay tells us that, as a young woman, she fell in love with a charismatic, slightly older man and ended up marrying him ...

Signs You Are Verbally Abused: Part II

Signs You Are Verbally Abused: Part II“Beware of rude and abusive people who love their mouths more than they love you.” ~ J. E. Brown You think you are being verbally abused by your partner. In fact, you suspect that you are ...

Signs You Are Verbally Abused: Part I

Signs You Are Verbally Abused: Part INote: Issues of verbal control can exist in any relationship, heterosexual, gay or lesbian, male towards a female partner or the other way around. Since more is known about verbal abuse in relationships where a ...

7 Mistaken Assumptions Angry People Make

7 Mistaken Assumptions Angry People Make“I guess I have an anger problem. I lose my temper pretty quick. But it’s not like my wife doesn’t do things to make me mad.” Richard has reluctantly come to treatment because his wife took out ...

Daughters Need Fathers, Too

Daughters Need Fathers, TooFathers, be good to your daughters Daughters will love like you do ~ "Daughters," by John Mayer We hear a lot about the importance of male role models in a boy’s life. It is indeed important. But what’s often missing from the ...

October is Domestic Violence Month

October is Domestic Violence MonthDomestic violence remains a huge and largely hidden problem. The purple ribbons you may have seen recently on car bumpers and people’s lapels are to remind us that someone is physically, sexually, psychologically or verbally abused by an intimate partner every 15 ...

The Essential Guide to Overcoming Obsessive Love

BOOK REVIEW.
Have you ever found yourself calling your partner repeatedly even though they have asked you to stop?  Does your partner sulk, pout and pick a fight whenever you want to meet up with friends for a drink?  Perhaps the fights have escalated and you now are being shoved around.  The Essential Guide to Overcoming Obsessive ...

Daddies Do Make A Difference

Daddies Do Make A Difference“Congratulations on your wife’s pregnancy,” I said to an acquaintance I ran into in the parking lot at the grocery store. “Oh, we’re getting a divorce. The baby is her thing, not mine. Doesn’t have anything to do with me,” he ...

Veterans and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder: A Conversation with Dr. Frank Ochberg

Thanks to generous gifts from a new donor, Gift From Within and the Dart Society are collaborating to better serve the needs of veterans, members of the Armed Forces, and military families who carry the burdens of hidden wounds of war. Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is difficult to understand, to tolerate, and to overcome. We ...

A Lifetime of Joy after Clinical Depression

This is a true story, as told to us by Alice (not her real name): When I was born my mother was dismayed -- she didn’t want a child so soon after marriage and resented the attention I received. She told me several times that I was a mistake ...

How Family and Close Friends Can Help Trauma Survivors

How do you express your support to someone who is reeling from a traumatic experience? There are things you can do for the other person as well as for yourself. 1. If your loved one has been threatened with physical harm or death, you can experience that as a trauma. Hearing about ...

Signs of a Controlling Guy

Letters like these come in to our "Ask the Therapist" column every week: "My boyfriend freaks out if I go out with my friends for an evening -- even though he hangs out with his friends almost every day," says Angela. "I love my boyfriend to death but he's always putting me down," ...

Why Women Stay with Controlling Men

Why would a woman stay in a relationship with a guy who puts her down, hems her in, and perhaps even physically abuses her? Why would a woman hold down two jobs to keep the rent paid and food on the table while her boyfriend sits around smoking weed all day? Why oh why would ...

My Adversity, My Son

I watched "Hawthorne" on TNT tonight. One of the story lines was about a woman who came into the ER with a broken arm and during the examination she was discovered to have many bruises on her body. It was assumed that it was domestic violence visited upon her by her boyfriend. In true Nurse ...

Why Do Abused Victims Stay?

It can be difficult for many people to understand why a person would stay in an abusive relationship. But there are many reasons. Strong emotional and psychological forces keep the victim tied to the abuser. Sometimes situational realities like a lack of money keep the victim from leaving. The reasons for staying vary from one

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Domestic Violence: Where to Seek Help

If you think you are in an abusive relationship, you can go to a number of people for help. Be careful, however, to keep your search a secret from your abuser. If your abuser learns that you are reaching out, he may try to stop you, be angered and abuse you even more.

People who

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Domestic Violence Doesn’t Discriminate

Psychological abuse can be hard to recognize because it doesn’t produce physical scars. Yet many women agree that it is actually much harder to bear than physical abuse, according to Elaine Weiss, Ed.D. of the Department of Family Preventive Medicine at the University of Utah School of Medicine. Weiss is author of Surviving Domestic Violence:

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