Unfortunately, this is a common occurrence for those with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), and often becomes a vicious cycle. OCD isolates the sufferer, and this detachment from others, where the person suffering from OCD is left alone with nothing but his or her obsessions and compulsions, can exacerbate OCD.

In Dan’s case, many of his obsessions revolved around him causing harm to those he cares about. What better way to prevent this from happening than by avoiding friends and family? And this is exactly what he did. Even though in reality he could not even hurt a fly, in his mind the “safest” thing to do was to stay away from everyone. This is just one example of how OCD steals what’s most important to you.

Another common example is those OCD sufferers who have issues with germs. Avoiding any place or person that might carry germs (so pretty much everyone and everything) is about as isolating as you can get. Or maybe they are not even worried about getting sick themselves but rather are terrified they might contaminate others.

There are many other reasons why OCD sufferers might isolate themselves. Their compulsions might be so time-consuming that there is simply no time to interact with others; OCD has taken up every second of their lives. Or perhaps it is just too exhausting to be out in public, pretending everything is okay.

Let’s also not forget the stigma that is still associated with the disorder. Many with OCD live with the fear of being “found out.” How can they best prevent that from happening? Yup — they isolate themselves.

When someone is suffering deeply, whether it is with OCD, depression, or any illness, support from friends and family is crucial. Friends who reach out to the isolated person often are ignored, and after a while, they might stop trying.

This is what happened to Dan. I have no doubt his friends genuinely cared for him, but they didn’t realize the extent of his suffering, because Dan never let on. When their efforts to connect with him were rebuffed, they, not knowing what else to do, left him alone.

In some situations — college, for example — friends are the first ones to notice another friend’s isolation. Young people need to be made aware that withdrawal from others might be a serious cause for concern, and help should be sought.

OCD sufferers can isolate themselves from family as well. When Dan’s OCD was severe, we felt separated from him, even when he was living with us. He kept to himself and would not engage in conversation. He seemed as if he was in his own world, which in many ways he was: a world dictated by OCD. As difficult as it was to connect with him, our family never stopped trying, but it was mostly a one-sided effort. It wasn’t Dan’s fault that he couldn’t communicate with us, and it wasn’t our fault that we couldn’t get through to him. This insidious disease, OCD, was to blame.

While the Internet cannot take the place of face-to-face interaction, I do believe that social media sites have the potential to lessen the feelings of isolation that OCD sufferers feel. Connecting with others on forums, or even just reading about people who are suffering as they are, can help reduce loneliness, and in the best-case scenario, prompt those with OCD to seek appropriate help.

When those with OCD, or any mental illness, cut off those who care about them, they lose their lifeline. The support, encouragement and hope that are all so important for recovery no longer exists. I find this heartbreaking, as I truly believe the more we are pushed away, the more likely it is we are needed. This is something we should all be acutely aware of, and if we find ourselves or our loved ones becoming increasingly isolated, we should seek professional help immediately.

A few months ago, he was under scrutiny for standing up to the Rockets’ lawyers and officials. He requested that his anxiety issues be treated the way other players’ physical illnesses and injuries are treated. For instance, NBA players are expected to fly frequently to cities where their games are played. White’s anxiety disorders makes it so that sometimes he is unable to do so. He requested to be able to travel by bus, and if he is delayed he doesn’t want to be fined the same amount as players who miss practice because they overslept.

Both parties struggled to reach a resolution, but after many discussions and meetings, the Rockets and White were able to reach a compromise in some areas. He was reassigned to the Houston Rockets’ D-league team, the Rio Grande Valley Vipers.

White’s story is of interest to many who are afflicted by mental illness. He is not in denial of his challenges, but he is not being quiet about it either. He has taken on the cause to help decrease the stigma society continues to place on mental health issues.

The Anxiety and Depression Association of America reports that there are “40 million American adults who suffer from anxiety disorders and only one-third of those suffering from an anxiety disorder receive treatment.” Anxiety itself has found its way into everyday language by many who experience stress. Yet, there are still many people who have no idea that anxiety disorders can be paralyzing and should not be trivialized.

Many individuals are embarrassed about their illness because they fear discrimination or that it’ll be a stumbling block in their careers or jobs. White has taken the risk and has decided that his basketball career is important, but becoming a “poster child” to decrease the stigma is more significant.

If you personally are struggling with mental illness or have a loved one who is, how are you handling it?

• Acknowledge it.

  Mental illness does not discriminate against race, gender, age, religion, or economic status. However, many sufferers may be in denial because they believe that asking for help, taking medication, or seeking therapy is a sign of weakness and irresponsibility. They don’t want to admit they have a problem and will only accept help when their normal functioning has deteriorated significantly, and they can no longer afford to suffer alone.People in prominent positions may be embarrassed to admit they have a mental illness. I’m not necessarily talking about movie stars or other celebrities. I am referring to individuals who have been able to succeed in life despite their mental adversities. They need to speak up to help normalize the disrespect many still receive due to their mental ailments.

• Speak up.

  When people share their struggles, others will become aware and even be surprised that their friend, boss, best friend’s daughter or spouse also is experiencing emotional and mental pain. Successful men and women with a mental illness can be an example to society and can contribute to the idea that a mental disorder does not define the person. The media seem to highlight the negative situations and many sufferers feel embarrassed and despondent. Thus, they choose to continue their silence.

• Connect with others.

  A dear friend has found that when he shares the challenge of having a son with mental health struggles, others connect emotionally with him. They trust him and are able to share their own journey with him. Your story of having been there may make a difference to someone who is feeling hopeless.

Society needs to understand that a person can be “normal” and still have mental health challenges.

Royce White is a hero. We need more heroes to stand up and speak up for mental health. Depression and ADHD are becoming more accepted as those in the limelight continue to talk about their experiences. Even people not in the public eye can tell our stories and help someone.

Will you be a hero for someone else? Take a stand. It will be worth it!

While the above questions are obvious appeals, they are not the only way that OCD sufferers seek reassurance. Indeed, the very nature of OCD centers around making certain that all is well. The disorder is characterized by unreasonable thoughts and fears (obsessions) that lead the sufferer to engage in repetitive thoughts or behaviors (compulsions). Obsessions are always unwanted and cause varying degrees of stress and anxiety, and compulsions temporarily alleviate these feelings. Compulsions are always, in some way, shape, or form, a quest for reassurance; a way to make everything okay.

A good example is the case of someone with OCD who is obsessed with a fire starting because he or she left the stove on. The compulsion of continually checking the stove is a recurring attempt to reassure oneself that the stove is indeed off and nobody will get hurt. Another OCD sufferer may fear germs (obsession) and wash his or her hands until they are raw (compulsion). The compulsion of hand-washing is an effort to make sure that his or her hands are clean enough so that there will be no germs.

My son Dan suffered from OCD for a few years before we even knew anything was really wrong. In retrospect, I realize he had a lot of reassurance-seeking behaviors. While he never asked the “Are you sure?” questions, he would often apologize for things that did not warrant an apology. If we went to the supermarket together he would say, “Sorry I spent so much money,” when, in fact, he had only picked out a few items. I, in turn, would reassure him that he hadn’t spent much at all. Dan would also thank me over and over again for things that most people might say “thank you” for only once, if that. Again, I would reassure him by saying, “You don’t have to thank me,” or “Stop thanking me already.” My responses to Dan in these cases gave him the reassurance he needed to feel certain that he hadn’t done anything wrong, had behaved appropriately, and all was well.

Of course hindsight is a wonderful thing and I now know that how I reacted to Dan at these times was actually classic enabling. I did him more harm than good. My reassuring Dan that all was well reinforced his misconception that he had to be certain, to have no doubt at all in his mind. While I helped reduce his anxiety at the moment, I was actually fueling the vicious cycle of OCD, because reassurance is addictive. Psychotherapist Jon Hershfield says:

If reassurance were a substance, it would be considered right up there with crack cocaine. One is never enough, a few makes you want more, tolerance is constantly on the rise, and withdrawal hurts. In other words, people with OCD and related conditions who compulsively seek reassurance get a quick fix, but actually worsen their discomfort in the long term.

So how can those with OCD “kick the habit?” It’s not easy, as sufferers continually wrestle with the feeling of incompleteness, never truly convinced that their task has been completed. There is always doubt.

But there is also always hope. Exposure Response Prevention (ERP) Therapy involves facing one’s fears and then avoiding engaging in compulsions. Using the stove example again, the sufferer would actually cook something on the stove and then shut the burner(s) off. He or she would then refrain from checking the stove to make sure it was off. No reassurance allowed. This is incredibly anxiety-provoking initially, but with time it gets easier. And while it is difficult to watch a loved one go through “withdrawal” it is imperative that family members and friends learn how not to accommodate or enable the sufferer.

Without reassurance, how will those with OCD achieve that need for certainty that they so desperately desire? Indeed, how can all of us make sure that nothing will ever go wrong? How can we control our lives, and the lives of those we love, so that nothing bad will ever happen?

The answer, of course, is that we can’t. Because as much as we’d all like to believe otherwise, much of what happens in our lives is beyond our control. Through ERP therapy, OCD sufferers will focus on the question “How can I live with uncertainty?” as opposed to “How can I be certain?” And instead of dwelling on the uncertainties of the past and the future, those with OCD can begin to live life to the fullest by concentrating on what matters most – the present.

Over the years I’ve chatted with some OCD sufferers about the reverse perspective: how young adult (and even “older” adult) children with OCD can help their parents understand what is going on with them. These discussions have led me to a simple conclusion: It’s not easy.

Every parent-child connection is unique, with its own set of issues. Even in the best of relationships, parents will likely “mess up” and say or do the wrong things at times. I still cringe every time I think of the first thing I said to my son Dan when he told me he had OCD: “Are you sure, Dan? You never even wash your hands.”

While I meant well, I basically had no idea what I was talking about. OCD is not about washing your hands. Another common reaction from parents is to minimize their child’s suffering with the hope of making them feel better. “Oh, I do that too,” or “That’s no big deal,” might be comments from parents when their child shares symptoms of his or her OCD.

This type of reaction can be devastating for the OCD sufferer who desperately needs to be taken seriously.

I’m sure my comment about handwashing only solidified what Dan already suspected: His mother needed help. It was important that I become educated about OCD. So he handed me a book to read which gave me an inkling of what he was experiencing. It was a smart move on his part, and one I’d recommend to adult children who want to help their parents understand their OCD. Educate them any way you can. Give them a book, point them to a website, direct them to a support group, have a conversation.

I know, that last one is tough. I suggest talking with your parents during a calm, uneventful time, preferably when everyone is in a good mood. You might begin by telling them how much you appreciate their support and love (assuming you are getting that from them), and then bring up the issues you feel need addressing. Maybe they have preconceived notions about OCD that just aren’t true. Maybe they are saying things, or acting in ways that are hurtful to you. I know I always appreciated it when Dan set me straight or voiced his opinions. He was able to help me see things from his viewpoint, which is not always easy for parents to do. I wish he had spoken up even more.

I don’t believe I’m alone in saying that guilt is one of the strongest emotions parents feel when they find out their child has mental health problems. Somehow it is our fault. It isn’t important whether this is true; we believe it. Guilt also has the potential to work both ways. In some cases, it might make the issues harder to address, as parents would rather sweep it all under the rug and just pretend everything is fine. In other situations, feelings of blame might spur a desire really to understand what you think you’ve done to your child, so you can (hopefully) remedy it.

To complicate things more, OCD sometimes runs in families. Having dealt with it previously probably will affect family members’ perceptions. For example, if your family has had a “just snap out of it” mentality, that might be exactly what they will expect you to do. Of course, this isn’t possible.

Sometimes a conversation with parents, for so many different reasons, is just not going to happen. Maybe it’s too hard for you to talk about your OCD. Maybe you are not on speaking terms, are dealing with a strained relationship, or just don’t see eye to eye. In these cases, maybe it’s best just to agree to disagree. We can only change our own behaviors, and those with OCD need a lot of strength to work toward recovery. Expending energy trying to change others rarely, if ever, works.

All of us, especially those who are suffering, just want to be heard, understood, and accepted by those we love the most. If you are not getting what you need from your parents, hopefully other family members, friends, and loved ones will step in and fill the void. Support from those who care about you will surely help as you move forward in your fight against obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Dean, an English lawyer turned psychologist, is the founder and proprietor of the website PsyBlog, which he’s maintained steadily since 2004. This is his first book, and one suspects it won’t be his last. He effects a direct, bloggerly style, mercifully unclouded by the stultified prose plaguing many psychology authors whose backgrounds are different from Dean’s (i.e., career academics). Nevertheless, the book is carefully — even densely — footnoted with a trove of research studies, general readership psychology books, and online resources.

Professional psychologists likely won’t find a great deal of new material in Making Habits, Breaking Habits, and neither will voracious lay readers who’ve digested the likes of Dan Ariely, Daniel Kahneman, Timothy Wilson, James Pennebaker, Martin Seligman, and others of their ilk. Yet Dean’s book remains worth a look for these readers, if only to sift through the bibliography’s many nuggets and to read Dean’s thoughtful chapter on treating online habits.

Dean divides his book into three main sections: “The Anatomy of a Habit,” “Everyday Habits,” and “Habit Change.” He explains what habits are, how they show up in daily life, and how the average individual can set about changing, forming, or ceasing various personal habits ranging from the benign to the existential.

Habits in the popular imagination are most closely associated with either virtuous or vicious activities. On the vicious side, we think of deleterious behaviors like excessive alcohol consumption, cigarette smoking, and doughnut eating. On the virtuous end of the ledger we find beneficial routines like regular exercise, charitable donations, and daily meditation. Yet habits are inherently neither good nor bad, explains Dean. They are merely behaviors repeated with great frequency and regularity and most often performed with little to no conscious intention.

Whether good, bad, or indifferent, habits are an incredibly powerful and pervasive psychological phenomenon.

“In the war of habit versus intention,” Dean writes, “the fight is massively fixed.” Citing a large meta study by Wendy Wood and J.A. Oulette, Dean illustrates that regularly performed habits — from ordering coffee to checking email — involve little or no conscious intention. “It was only when [habitual] behaviors were performed once or twice a year — like getting a flu shot — that intentions took over from autopilot.”

Which is not to say that habits do not follow intentions, Dean tells us.

“Much of the time even our strong habits follow our intentions. We are mostly doing what we intend to do, even though it’s happening automatically,” he writes. “When washing our face each day, picking up an espresso on the way to work, or cleaning our glasses, it’s because at some point in the past we consciously decided (or someone decided for us) that these things were worthwhile activities, so we kept repeating them until they were automatic.”

If habits are automatic executions of intentions consciously set in the past, this means we can all end up performing behaviors that are misaligned with our long-term goals. For example, your expensive pre-work espresso stop may have made sense when your spouse was still earning an income, but does the habit serve you now that you’re a one-income household with a third mouth to feed? We know we should economize in this situation, and yet most of us will likely remain as profligately caffeinated as ever.

“What does this mean for our attempts to control ourselves and our chances of making changes?” Dean asks. He organizes the last two thirds of his book around answering this question. (Spoiler alert: consider re-routing your commute away from Starbucks rather than relying on a shaky mixture of willpower and good intentions for baby’s tuition fund.)   

In the book’s second section, Dean begins by elucidating how habits exert their omnipresent influence in daily life—from routine social interactions, to work, to travel, eating, and shopping. He then shifts to the darker side of habits, examining personal habit pathology as reflected specifically in obsessive-compulsive disorder and depression. Later, Dean zooms out to examine habit pathologies at the societal level relating to plane-crash prevention, seatbelt usage, and environmental protection.

Dean wraps up the second section with a strong survey of online habits, incorporating the latest psychological studies into an analysis of web multi-tasking, email, and Twitter. Synthesizing a wide range of research, Dean examines online behavior through the lens of Skinnerian pleasure reinforcement and through Csíkszentmihályi’s famous concept of “flow.”

Are you one of those people who just doesn’t understand Twitter? Perhaps the concept of variable interval reinforcement can shed some light:

As with email, on Twitter, an interesting tweet could arrive at any moment, but you don’t know when. You could get a batch of interesting tweets one after the other or nothing for a few hours. Because the intervals vary, users get used to the frustration of not getting anything interesting for a while—but they keep checking anyway.

(If you’re reading this article online — perhaps at the office — do you truly understand how you arrived at this page? You might do well to order Making Habits, Breaking Habits before you get back to what you were doing when your Twitter feed announced a new book review on Psych Central.)

The book’s final section moves through a survey of practical techniques for forming beneficial new habits and for breaking undesired old ones. The latter activity turns out to be a difficult proposition indeed. With considerably less grace than old soldiers, “old habits really do die hard,” writes Dean. “Even after habits have apparently faded away through lack of repetition, they still lie in wait to be reactivated.”

The reason cigarette smoking is so addictive, Dean says, is that it combines two cast-iron habits: daily contextual behaviors (like coffee drinking) plus the biological imperative for regular nicotine infusion. That’s the bad news. The good news is that “the best way to break a bad habit is to pair it with a new one.” For example, you pair your biological nicotine craving with the new behavior of chewing gum instead of lighting a Marlboro.

Dean concludes with a guide to practical habit formation and de-formation techniques relating to health, creativity, and happiness. He examines smoking, exercise, art, and work. As in the rest of the book, Dean’s academic overview of habit changing techniques and mechanisms is solid and substantial, though I wish he had provided more personal or third-person examples. While Making Habits, Breaking Habits is more scientifically grounded and less prone to overly tidy conclusions than Charles Duhigg’s 2012 bestseller The Power of Habit, Dean’s book lacks the compelling narrative force that the journalist Duhigg so effectively imposes on the material.

In addition to craving more specific and involved anecdotes, I found myself wishing Dean had sharpened and expanded upon his practical advice, which at times became repetitive. The book likewise could have benefitted from the addition of some interactive, “workbook”-like material. An attractive feature of recent heavyweight works like Kahneman’s Thinking Fast and Slow and Seligman’s Flourish lies in the frequent opportunities afforded the reader to test and measure herself with a variety of simple but highly informative psychological diagnostic tools.

Ironically, these weaknesses derive from one of Dean’s major strengths: namely, modesty. Dean neither evangelizes for a favored theory nor beats the drum for his own proprietary “habit cure.” Commendably, he merely sets the table for a reader to make his own decisions and implement his own modification regime. For my part, I took away a newfound enthusiasm for some long-forgotten CBT techniques and a resolution to avoid sugar and Twitter in the new year. Unfortunately, in so doing, I fell into the classic pitfall of over-general intentions that Dean warns about near the end of his chapter on healthy habits:

The true aim of personal change is to turn our minds away from miracle cures and quick fixes, and adopt a long-term strategy. Habit change isn’t a sprint; it’s a marathon. The right mindset is to wake up tomorrow almost exactly the same person, except for one small change—a small change that you can replicate every day until you don’t notice it anymore, at which point it’s time to plan another small change….

Fair enough. When I feel like desert at night, I’ll brush my teeth instead. My nasty Twitter habit will just have to linger on until I’m svelte and cavity-free.

Making Habits, Breaking Habits: Why We Do Things, Why We Don’t, and How to Make Any Change Stick
Da Capo Lifelong Books, January, 2013
Hardcover, 272 pages
$26

Dan liked him too. He drove to his appointments alone, and while I spoke with the therapist on the phone a few times, we never met. Dan was sharing very little about his obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) with us at the time, but he did tell me and my husband that he was very pleased with his psychologist and thought he really understood him; he felt better after every session. What more could we ask for?

Eight months later our son was so debilitated by severe OCD he could not even eat. As I became more educated about the disorder and its proper treatment, I realized that not only had Dan’s therapist not known how to treat OCD, the “talk therapy” he used had exacerbated Dan’s illness.

His next therapist worked at the world-renowned OCD residential treatment program Dan attended. Our son spent nine weeks there and bonded big time with this psychologist, who definitely knew how to treat OCD. His stay at this program became complicated, one of the issues being Dan’s unhealthy dependency on his therapist. Our son became unable to think for himself. He deferred instead to his psychologist’s recommendations as to how he should live his life, even when they conflicted with Dan’s lifelong dreams. When I tried to discuss the situation with Dan, he said, “It’s hard not to be attached to someone who has saved your life.”

I know bonding emotionally with health care providers is not unusual, but I wonder if it might be more of an issue for those with OCD. We know OCD sufferers often deal with social scrupulosity, a type of hyper-responsibility. Those with social scrupulosity obsess over hurting others’ feelings, and often believe that giving their opinion, or being assertive in any way, will cause harm. Could this translate into excessive loyalty? How could you question your therapist, or even worse, leave him or her, if you think this way? How could you even think that this person, whom you probably really like and admire, might not be the best one to help you?

These are just two of many situations when I think it’s best to move on. While in the first example we were oblivious to his therapist’s shortcomings in treating OCD, I have no doubt if we’d suggested looking for another health care provider, Dan would have insisted on staying with his hometown one. In fact, when he first left for college fifteen hundred miles away, he opted for phone calls with this therapist instead of searching for a new one (another mistake).

In contemplating the second scenario, I would think that the staff would have recognized, or at least considered, that Dan was dealing with social scrupulosity, yet that was not the case. We had to forcibly remove our son from this residential treatment program.

It can be an ordeal for those with OCD to find the right therapist, and Dan’s experiences illustrate just a few of the many issues that might arise. That is one of the reasons families need to become educated about OCD and its proper treatment: their support in finding a therapist often is critical. Children and teens, as well as adults whose OCD is severe, likely will require a loved one to make that initial call. If you’re lucky, you will have some qualified health care professionals to choose from. Unfortunately, that is not always the case when it comes to treating OCD.

OCD is complicated, and sometimes it can be difficult to recognize when your current therapist is not helping you. Again, this is when the support of family and loved ones can be beneficial, as they can step back, be objective, and talk to you about moving on, if necessary. Also, it is important to keep in mind that when you do find the right therapist and are together for a long time, your relationship will likely evolve. Dan’s last therapist was a great fit for him, and they worked together for four years. Toward the end of their time together, they rarely needed to address Dan’s OCD, instead concentrating on the many issues facing today’s young adults.

While it can be easier to stay with a therapist who is not working for you than starting from scratch with a new one, I believe it is still necessary to move on when, for whatever reason, you are no longer making progress toward recovery. You might like, respect, and admire your therapist, but if your OCD is not improving, I think it is time to search for another. Because, at least in my opinion, merely liking your therapist is not enough.

When my son Dan was dealing with severe OCD, I had no trouble seeing the disorder as something separate from him. It is something he has, not something he is. I even went so far as to call it “The Enemy.”

Over the course of two years, there were some fierce battles between Dan and “The Enemy.” I saw my son in the depths of despair, and often wondered if he would survive this war he was fighting. While it is unusual for me to use the word hate, I readily admitted to hating “The Enemy.” How could I not? It was destroying Dan’s life.

But being hateful doesn’t come naturally to me. And to tell the truth, even though I said I hated OCD, I’m not sure hate is the right word. Fear, maybe? I’m not sure; I haven’t found the words that feel completely right to me. I mean, my son has OCD. Surely, I don’t hate my son or any aspect of his being. Maybe I should rethink how I truly feel about obsessive-compulsive disorder?

And what about OCD sufferers themselves? Do they hate their OCD? Is it healthy to feel that this disorder is the enemy that needs to be defeated? Or is it better to be able to accept OCD for what it is, while still seeking out the best ways to manage it? I guess my question is, “Is hate really the way to go?”

For me, and I’m guessing for most people, hate takes a lot of time and energy — time and energy that can be much better spent working toward living the life you want. Though OCD may wax and wane, it is usually a chronic condition. Is it in the OCD sufferer’s best interests to spend his or her life hating something that might always be hanging around? The answer may not be the same for everyone, but most OCD sufferers I’ve connected with feel that acceptance, not hate, is crucial to recovery.

And what about those of us who have a loved one with the disorder? For me, it’s a lot easier to look at “The Enemy” more objectively now that the battlefield has quieted down. I wish I had been able to step back sooner and see OCD for what it really is, instead of becoming entangled in the war. Perhaps the time and energy I spent hating “The Enemy” could have been better used learning as much as I could about OCD, including the best ways to help Dan.

In reconsidering my, and Dan’s, relationship with OCD, I am thankful to be at the point where I am able to let go of the hate and fear, or whatever that strong emotion is I’ve had for so long. I now see Dan’s OCD as more of an obnoxious, unwanted guest than an enemy. You know, the kind of person who has the power to ruin your good time if you let him. Dan knows it’s best not to attach any credibility to what this unwanted visitor has to say.

He may hear him in the background, but beyond that, he needs to ignore what this guest is saying or demanding of him. How else will Dan enjoy the party? And if this unwanted guest gets too rowdy, Dan now has the tools to deal with him effectively. My son is in charge, and I believe that is the most important thing. If he has to, he can throw this obnoxious, unwanted guest out of the party.

They talked about Dan’s fears, thoughts, and feelings every other week for four months. That amounted to approximately ten sessions of the wrong kind of therapy, though we didn’t realize it at the time. Dan then left for college in worse condition than before he started therapy.

Dan’s therapist had employed traditional talk therapy, a type of psychotherapy that delves into the root of your problems. At the very least, it involves examining why you feel or act the way you do. As we now know, this type of therapy typically does not help those with obsessive-compulsive disorder and, in fact, often exacerbates the OCD. Why is this so?

I believe that talking to someone with OCD about why they feel the intense fear and anxiety that is characteristic of the disorder is like talking to someone with asthma about why they can’t breathe. “So why do you think your airways constrict like that?” Ridiculous, right? The answer is obvious. “Because I have asthma and that’s what asthma is.”

OCD is a neurologically-based anxiety disorder and that’s why those with OCD have anxiety. OCD, like asthma, is not something that can be talked away. While OCD sufferers’ experiences might help shape their obsessions or compulsions, talking about their past, or their fears, usually is not helpful, and often will increase their anxiety. Focusing on their distressing thoughts and then subsequently being reassured by a therapist only empowers the OCD.

Additionally, a therapist might even feed right into the OCD. For example, someone suffering from “fear of harm” obsessions (fear of harming loved ones, or anyone, for that matter) might have a therapist who wants to explore whether the patient really does want to hurt someone. (It is important to note here that those with OCD never act on these obsessions.) This approach can be devastating to the OCD sufferer; it only compounds his or her fear and uncertainty. OCD sufferers ruminate enough on their own; they definitely don’t need any assistance in that department.

That’s not to say there isn’t anything to talk about in therapy when it comes to OCD. There’s plenty, as this disorder and the therapy for it can be quite complicated. At times it might be beneficial to talk about general problems that arise from having an anxiety disorder. Issues pertaining to family, work, or school, as well as feelings of low self-esteem and isolation, are common examples of concerns OCD sufferers might have. Also, when establishing a list of anxiety-provoking thoughts and actions as part of an appropriate treatment plan, the sufferer’s fears will be discussed.

It is important to distinguish these matters from talking about the details of someone’s OCD and why they feel the way they do. The specifics of why one is compelled to drive around the block 50 times to make sure he or she hasn’t hit someone, or why sufferers must mentally review their entire day to make sure they didn’t say anything wrong, are not significant. Therapists must realize that OCD is a disorder with a specific treatment, and not some character flaw that needs to be fixed by delving into a person’s life.

I have heard first-person accounts from OCD sufferers who have found themselves in the midst of talk therapy, and have realized it’s not what they need. While some end this therapy because they find it tormenting or see that it is making them worse, others will continue with it because they believe the experts know best.

I find this heartbreaking — those who seek help are harmed instead. We need to keep spreading the word to OCD sufferers and therapists that Exposure Response Prevention (ERP) Therapy is the front-line treatment for OCD, and the ticket to freedom for those who suffer from this disorder.

Grace had grown up in a religious home. She was familiar with the above proverb. She understood it as a reminder to maintain pure thoughts to be a better person. Unfortunately, she was challenged by obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), and every time she read verses such as this, her anxiety and guilt would torment her.

Honesty and integrity were often talked about in her home. Impure and blasphemous thoughts were against her religious beliefs. She had learned that if she were to sin, she could take steps to be forgiven. A broken heart, contrite spirit, and confession were essential.

Her troubles began in middle school. She was taking a history test and inadvertently looked at her neighbor’s test. Her guilt drove her to tears. Because of her values, she had to come clean. She did, and failed her test. This seemed to be the beginning of her cascade of constant guilt caused by her thoughts.

When a kid at school would announce someone had stolen his lunch money, she’d quickly look in her pockets, school bag, and desk to ensure she was not the thief. Her thoughts and fears felt real. Once, when she got an A+ on an English essay, she felt remorseful. Her mom had proofread her paper for spelling and grammar errors. She believed she had cheated. Getting rid of her guilt was more important than passing her class. Praying and confessing were a must so she could feel peace.

“Somehow my honesty issues subsided while I was in high school. But before I began college my troubles reappeared. This time my thoughts morphed into something disgusting that drove me crazy,” she told me.

Grace’s thoughts didn’t match her values. She couldn’t accept the thoughts and images in her mind of actually harming someone. She began to miss school and stay in her dorm all day. She’d spend hours “figuring things out.” She questioned her worthiness.

The truth about thoughts is that every single human being — regardless of whether he or she suffers OCD — has intrusive, disturbing thoughts at one time or another. When non-OCD sufferers have a distressing thought, they may be surprised. They may say to themselves, “Whoa! That was a weird thought.” They acknowledge it and move on.

On the other hand, when people who struggle with OCD have “random” perturbing and unpleasant thoughts, they panic. “Why in the world would I think such an awful thought? Where did that come from? What does this thought mean about me? I’m not this terrible person!”

OCD sufferers begin to reassure themselves in many ways to decrease anxiety and guilt. Their thoughts are troublesome because they are incongruous with their moral character. After all, the scriptures tell us to have pure thoughts, don’t they? However, prophets and biblical writers did not have OCD in mind.

OCD is a neurological and behavioral issue. It does not relate to religious beliefs, despite the symptoms. In truth, OCD often attacks whatever matters most to the person. In Grace’s case, as a devout, religious person, her OCD symptoms were related to that area of her life. She believed that thinking hideous thoughts would lead her to frightening actions. She began to question her self-worth. Depression began to surface because she couldn’t get rid of her “sins” despite her repeated repentance and confessions.

Prayers, hymns, and certain words became rituals. She began to avoid situations, places, and people to avoid triggering any tormenting thoughts. Her “OCD mind” kept telling her of the daunting consequences she would face in the future if she were not able to control her thoughts. She could not bear the thought of seeing herself living in eternal damnation.

The guilt Grace experienced was a biological consequence of her “OCD mind.” She had grown up learning “we must resist temptation,” but this wasn’t working for her. She had not learned that the guilt she felt was due not to sinning, but to OCD.

As Grace began treatment, through cognitive-behavioral therapy that included exposure and response prevention therapy, she discovered that finding reassurance and hating her thoughts were the stumbling blocks in her progress. It took some time, but she finally understood that resisting her sinful thoughts was not the answer. She learned that it’s impossible to control one’s thoughts. She learned that some of her thinking errors were contributing to her suffering.

For instance, most people who experience obsessions such as Grace’s have the belief that their thoughts equal their actions. This thinking error is called “thought-action fusion.” She believed that thinking something was just as bad as doing it. Grace had a constant need to assess her behavior and question her thoughts. She would spend hours figuring out the reason for her evil thoughts and how to undo them. She gained the experience and insight that thoughts are just that: thoughts. They come and go, and mean nothing themselves.

The road to modify her thinking habits was not easy. But she knew that what she had been doing all these years hadn’t worked. She realized that OCD had gotten in the way of enjoying her life and religion. For as she thought, she was not.

He’d get stuck sitting in one particular chair, hunched over with his head in his hands for hours at a time, was tied to the clock for all activities of daily living, and totally isolated himself from his friends and peers.

I’ve always found it amazing that even though things were this difficult for him the last few weeks of his freshman year in college, he still attended classes and managed to successfully complete the semester.

After connecting with many OCD sufferers over the last few years, I’ve come to realize that Dan’s ability to continue on with his life is not that unusual. Of course, everyone’s circumstances are unique, but it seems to me that many people who suffer from severe OCD still get up in the morning and either go to school, work, or run a household. They are incredibly brave, doing this while often dealing with nonstop obsessions and hours and hours of compulsions. And while they may seem okay to the outside world, inside they are truly tormented.

How can those with OCD be so debilitated and yet so “functional?”

OCD sufferers know their obsessions and compulsions aren’t rational; they just can’t control them. Couple this with the very real stigma that still exists around obsessive-compulsive disorder and you have people who live in fear of being “found out.” A mom with OCD who has harming obsessions may be terrified that her children will be taken away from her if her OCD is discovered. Someone else may be afraid of losing his or her job. These are just two examples of why those with OCD may use every ounce of energy they have to appear “normal.” While outwardly they may be smiling, inwardly they are tortured.

There’s Little Benefit in Hiding OCD

Unfortunately, hiding OCD rarely benefits anyone. Something as basic as receiving a proper diagnosis and treatment is delayed if the sufferer does not seek help or is not honest with his or her therapist. A diagnosis of OCD involves the disorder causing significant disruption in the sufferer’s life. If a person gets up and goes to work, or fulfills whatever his or her daily obligations might be, then the consensus might be that his or her mental health issues can’t be “that bad.” Indeed, the sufferer may believe that also. “If I can work (or go to school, or run a household), I must be okay.” But being able to function does not mean that your life is not significantly affected. And so valuable time that could be used working toward recovery is spent suffering instead.

Another drawback of keeping severe OCD a secret is that it perpetuates the misconception that it is a “cute, quirky disorder.” While inaccurate media portrayals definitely play a role in this misunderstanding of OCD, the fact that so many of those with the disorder mask their suffering so well might also be a factor. Even if an OCD sufferer’s compulsions are visible to others (a need for symmetry at work, for example), what is obvious is their odd behavior, not the depth of their pain.

Additionally, for those seeking accommodations either at school or in the workplace, the belief that OCD is “no big deal” can be a roadblock to receiving the assistance for which you are entitled. Dan experienced this firsthand when the academic resource director at his school remarked at how well he seemed to be functioning. Why should he need any accommodations?

While I believe we have made some headway in reducing the stigma associated with all mental illness, we still have so far to go. If people feel the need to hide their disorder, then we obviously still have a lot of work to do. We have to continue advocating for OCD awareness and spread the word as to what OCD really is and is not. Also, we need to remember that things are not always what they seem. Your smiling co-worker may actually be severely debilitated by obsessive-compulsive disorder; you’d just never know it by looking at him or her.

When my three children were young, we homeschooled off and on throughout the elementary school years. My son Dan, in particular, loved the freedom of being able to explore his interests as he pleased. He continued homeschooling throughout high school, and received his diploma from a nontraditional school that works with homeschoolers. Always bright and self-motivated, he was truly born to homeschool. He has since graduated college.

His diagnosis of obsessive-compulsive disorder didn’t come until after he graduated high school, and while he had known something was wrong for “a while,” his father and I didn’t have a clue. So the decision to homeschool, on our part, had nothing to do with the fact that Dan has OCD. From Dan’s point of view, it was how he learned best. He did give high school a try for a few months in ninth grade, but decided to leave so he could “continue his education.” Whether his OCD played a part in that decision or not, I don’t really know. But I do know that Dan genuinely loves learning, and he and homeschooling were a great fit.

Over the years, I’ve noticed, mostly from talking with people and reading blogs, that a considerable number of children with OCD are homeschooling. This is a totally unscientific observation; I don’t have any statistics. But I do have a question: Why? No doubt everyone has their own reasons, but some possible explanations might include:

• OCD often is associated with above-average intelligence, as well as creativity, and these two attributes do not always mesh well with traditional schooling.
• The school is unable or unwilling to meet the child’s special needs (even though they are legally bound to do so).
• The child refuses to attend school. This might be directly related to the OCD (for example, he or she may believe the school is contaminated), or indirectly related (the child is being bullied because of his or her odd behaviors).
• The child is willing to attend school but parents feel it is advantageous (in reference to OCD) to keep the child home.
• The parents or child believe homeschooling is the best way for this particular child to learn (independent of any issues with OCD).

I believe in homeschooling. While I know it’s not for everyone, it can be a rewarding experience for parents and children who undertake it for the right reasons.

But if your child has left school or has never attended solely because he or she has obsessive-compulsive disorder, it may be a good idea to reevaluate the situation. It’s true that school might be a fervent breeding ground for OCD triggers, but is avoiding it the right thing to do?

To complicate matters more, for those also dealing with social anxiety and perfectionism, school can be torturous. I know it’s easy to say “avoidance is never the answer,” but when you have a child who is terrified of going to school, what do you do? Sometimes, could it be that avoiding certain situations is the right thing to do?

As with everything related to OCD, there are no easy answers. Parents, therapists, teachers, and students all need to become as educated as possible about the disorder. If it’s decided the child will attend school, the appropriate support network should be put in place. Of course, a support system is also necessary if the child is homeschooling.

Either way, the child must receive proper treatment. Exposure Response Prevention (ERP) Therapy, the frontline treatment for OCD, is actually based on facing one’s fears, and is therefore the opposite of avoidance. So the actual location of the battleground (school or home) isn’t so important. What matters is that the war against OCD is faced head-on.

After the third or fourth nagging requests, she would get irritated and say, “I am done! This is the last one. Good night!” Johnny would cry and ask for more “good nights.”

Mom didn’t know it at the time, but she was reinforcing Johnny’s need for reassurance. One “goodnight” was not enough, but neither were ten.

Ritualized hand-washing or other grooming compulsions were absent. There didn’t seem to be any checking compulsions. If there had been, Johnny’s parents probably would have sought professional help sooner than they did. They only noticed his “neatness habits” were getting in the way of completing his math homework in a timely manner. He would erase the numbers several times until they felt just right.

Sometimes, too, he would get into arguments with his siblings and he always wanted the last word. He felt the desperate need to be “right.” Temper tantrums occurred and his parents attributed them to his stubborn personality. There were occasions when he would ask a lot of questions, and his parents would reassure him — unwittingly reinforcing his obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD).

Little signs popped up as Johnny grew up. His parents worried at times, but those would dissipate as they noticed all of Johnny’s positive behaviors. He was a straight-A student. He not only showed self-discipline but also self-motivation to excel in school. He enjoyed Little League soccer, baseball, basketball, and other activities.

Then, Johnny became depressed. His mental obsessions and compulsions had finally taken hold, and his parents found professional help. Johnny had been suffering in silence for years. He was too embarrassed to tell his parents what was really going on in his head. He had kept his ordeal a secret. He didn’t want his parents, siblings, or other relatives to think he was “crazy,” even though he really did feel like he was going crazy. The anxiety-inducing thoughts would not go away. The more he tried to stop them, the stronger they became.

So why didn’t Johnny’s parents do something before he got depressed? Were they careless, uneducated, and unaware? The answer to these questions is important.

In short, there are two conditions in the OCD experience: the obsessions (thoughts the individual has) and the compulsions (what the person does in order to decrease the anxiety he or she is experiencing). This is where the misunderstanding occurs.

For example, you may guess or believe a friend has OCD when she compulsively washes or cleans. You may think a relative has OCD when he excessively checks the locks, stoves, and appliances to ensure there won’t be a fire or a robbery. Repetitive rituals such as rereading or rewriting and counting are also types of OCD most people recognize. But what about those who have obsessions, and neutralize the initial disturbing thought with a thought that relieves anxiety? Do they have OCD? Not from the outside, which can lead to confusion and misdiagnosis.

In Johnny’s case, most of his compulsions were silent. His parents couldn’t possibly be aware of them. He felt ashamed, guilty and embarrassed about his thoughts. Research indicates one in 200 children suffer Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. This is according to the reported and correctly diagnosed cases. Unfortunately, there are still many adolescents and children suffering in silence or being misdiagnosed.

OCD Signs in Children: How to Help

It is essential for parents to be involved in helping their children. Unfortunately, sometimes parents believe they are helping when they are actually enabling. For instance, does your child get really upset because she wants you to stand in a certain spot while she brushes her teeth? If you move, does she become unglued? What will you do? Do you do what she’s asking so she can go to bed in peace?

There are instances when the whole family gets sucked into the rituals, and the whole family suffers. There is resentment and stress in the home. Often, parents are not even aware that their child needs help. They may believe they child just has a strong, stubborn personality, like Johnny’s parents did.

Below is a list of typical behaviors of children with OCD. It is always recommended that you consult a professional experienced in working with children and specifically trained to treat OCD.

• Excessive temper tantrums when interrupted from an activity.
• Wearing certain clothing or objects all the time. Does he believe it keeps him or others safe from harm?
• Ordering and arranging rituals driven by need to have things even, balanced, or “just so.”
• Average or above-average intelligence.
• Obsession with or avoidance of certain numbers.
• Showing certain rituals when separating from parents.
• Following certain rituals at bedtime and excessively upset if interrupted or not allowed to follow them.
• Involving parents or siblings in rituals and getting upset if they don’t do them as instructed.
• Having the need to “be right” or “win” arguments.
• Tries to continue the topic even when others have moved on to another subject.
• May not necessarily show washing, cleaning or checking rituals.
• Asking questions and trying to ‘figure things out’ and not feeling satisfied with the answers given.
• Whispering compulsions while watching TV; appearing preoccupied and distracted when talking to you.
• Too neat or too messy.

Children experiencing OCD may also exhibit other disorders such as ADHD/ADD, Tourette’s Disorder, autism, depression, separation anxiety or generalized anxiety disorder.

Consult a mental health professional, medical provider or a psychotherapist so they can help you find the right treatment for your child.

I believe what happened to Dan could have been prevented if he’d had the proper support systems in place. Ideally, parents and students can work together to begin establishing these important relationships, even before arriving on campus. In my opinion, your support system, at the very least, should include a mental health professional, appropriate school personnel, and family.

The logical place to begin your search for a mental health professional is at the counseling center on campus. A word of caution, however: Many therapists at college and university mental health centers are not trained in cognitive-behavioral therapy. Even if they are, the number of appointments each student is allowed per semester often is quite limited. Staff at a good college counseling center will be able to give you local referrals to area therapists who specialize in treating OCD with Exposure Response Prevention Therapy.

Even if you feel that a therapist won’t be necessary at school, I encourage you to at least make an initial contact with one. That way, if problems do arise, you will already have a therapist in place. If you currently have a therapist at home that you are happy with, talk with him or her about the possibility of scheduling phone (or Skype, etc) sessions with you, either on a regular basis, or as needed. The most important thing is that you have a therapist available to you. Additionally, if you are taking medication, talk with your psychiatrist at home about getting any necessary prescriptions, and what the plan will be for communicating with him or her. If you or your doctor feels it would be beneficial to have a psychiatrist closer to school, you can get referrals from your current doctor or your campus counseling center.

Next, I recommend connecting with the appropriate school personnel, as mentioned above. Most colleges have an academic support center that assists students in need of accommodations. Again, a word of caution: Accommodations for obsessive-compulsive disorder can be a tricky business. There is a fine line between helping and enabling those with OCD. Also, it is not always clear what accommodations might be helpful to each OCD sufferer. For example, the common accommodation of untimed testing may not help students with OCD, and actually could make matters worse. More time for testing and handing in assignments means more opportunity to ritualize, and more ritualizing may intensify the OCD.

In Dan’s case, the staff at his academic support center had little to no understanding of what OCD really is, and while they seemed willing to help him, they had no idea how. A letter written by your current therapist outlining appropriate accommodations can be extremely helpful, but what might even be more important is the open-mindedness and flexibility of the college support staff. This is because the truth of the matter is that sometimes those with OCD don’t even know what they need until after the fact.

Though we didn’t realize it when Dan started college, he, like many OCD sufferers, often had trouble with time management, the balance of details within the big picture, and over-thinking. Once this became evident, we requested regular, detailed feedback on his work (he is an artist). Another example could be a new college student who might not anticipate getting “stuck” while reading a textbook. Because the OCD sufferer’s needs will likely evolve as the semester gets underway, periodic communication is essential. Again, even if you don’t think accommodations are necessary, you should have them in place. Better safe than sorry.

Other appropriate school personnel to connect with might include your dean of students, academic advisor, and professors. The more people who are aware of your OCD, the more overall support you will have.

The final support system, family, can make all the difference in the world. It is crucial to keep the lines of communication open with your parents and other family members who have been helpful to you in the past. Aside from regular contact with them, consider allowing (through written consent required by law) your parents access to your academic records. This will help assure them that you are on track with your classes, and also alert them early on to any potential academic issues which could be related to your OCD. If this is something you’d rather not do, talk with your family about how much you are willing to share with them.

A final word of caution: While the advent of college often is associated with independence, it is a sign of maturity to ask for help when you need it, and then be willing to accept it. I was fortunate that Dan allowed me to advocate for him when necessary. I believe this is especially important when you are in a new environment where people do not know you well. If you are having problems, an advocate who knows you and understands your OCD can be invaluable.

There is no question college can be stressful, but if you have your support systems in place and address any issues (OCD-related or not) sooner rather than later, chances are your experience will be positive. Here’s to a great year at school!

Unsurprisingly, however, many of us often feel overwhelmed by life’s complexity. There are just so many choices. Whereas we used to go to the library, or perhaps a bookstore, to get that book we wanted, we now have the additional options to read it on Kindle (or perhaps Nook) or order it online (but from which site?), or perhaps get the audio version (but which one and from where?).

While these daily choices can be distressing for anyone, they can be especially difficult for those who suffer from obsessive-compulsive disorder. Since doubt is the cornerstone of OCD, sufferers often have the need to know, for certain, that all these decisions they are making are the right ones.

This is much easier said than done. Sure, you like the way your new jacket looks, but maybe the cheaper one you didn’t choose would have been just as nice. The restaurant you took your co-worker to for lunch was great, but maybe the “other one” would have had better specials. You love your job, but maybe if you’d continued on with your education, you’d have an even better job now.

And so the ideal life that freedom and abundance offers doesn’t exist. Perfection eludes us; there is always doubt.

OCD sufferers might worry how their choices will affect others, and agonize to the point of obsession over even the most minor decisions. “What if the movie I choose is boring for my friend?” “Will I insult my child’s teacher if I say no to a volunteer project?” “Will my doctor be upset if I choose another health care provider?”

Or they might make a decision they are quite sure of, only to have OCD sabotage it. A vacation destination you’ve been dreaming about for years can now finally be a reality, but OCD might force you to second-guess your choice. The weight attached to all kinds of decisions can be too much to bear, at which point OCD sufferers may avoid making decisions whenever possible.

Unfortunately, avoidance is never the answer, and while this tactic may temporarily quell anxiety, in the long run it will make OCD stronger. Exposure Response Prevention Therapy can help sufferers learn to accept the uncertainty that inevitably comes with decision-making.

Barry Schwartz, a psychologist and author of The Paradox of Choice, explores the connection between depression and the abundance of choice. He talks about how, when we have no choice in a matter and something goes wrong, we have no reason to blame ourselves. If a tornado comes along and destroys our home, we don’t go around assigning blame; instead, we begin to rebuild.

When we do have a choice, whether it’s something as trivial as which jeans to buy, or something more significant, such as a career move, we have high expectations and expect everything to be perfect. When these expectations fall short, we blame ourselves. After all, we are the ones who made the decision. Maybe we should have made a different choice. There often is regret, and regret may lead to depression.

According to Dr. Schwartz, too much choice undermines happiness.

I agree and believe this is as good a reason as any to simplify our lives as much as possible. We need to be grateful for all that we have. Yes, we are indeed lucky. But no one’s life is perfect. And regardless of whether we have OCD, we need to be able to accept our decisions and continue on. If we don’t, our mental health surely will suffer.

But that doesn’t mean we can’t use humor when dealing with OCD. While there is nothing amusing about having it, the situations that often arise from dealing with the disorder can be downright funny. What OCD sufferer doesn’t have a story or two to tell that would be sure to make us laugh?

Everyone I’ve met who has OCD has a great sense of humor. This may have to do with creative thinking, a quick wit, or just sheer necessity. But the ability to laugh at oneself, especially in the face of adversity, is a huge plus — not only for those who have obsessive-compulsive disorder, but for those who care about someone with OCD. A stressful situation looked at from a humorous perspective will surely reduce anxiety, or at least keep it from overtaking the sufferer. And laughter is good for us. It relaxes us, helps us recharge, and can even boost our immune systems.

My son Dan has always had a quick wit and a great sense of humor, and his ability to see the comical, often absurd, aspects of OCD has certainly helped in his recovery. But, understandably, the more severe his OCD was, the less often his sense of humor emerged. So I tried to help. For example, Dan had a hard time driving for a while as he was not only afraid of hitting someone, he was afraid of upsetting other drivers: Maybe he was making them late because he was driving too slowly, or maybe he hurt someone’s feelings when he inadvertently cut them off.

I suggested we write down all the license plate numbers of all the cars he came in contact with, try to track these people down, and then send them all letters of apology when he got home. Conversations like this helped Dan get a little distance from his own thoughts, and often made him aware of how ludicrous his reasoning had become.

Humor makes us all feel more comfortable, and the more relaxed we are around one another, the more natural the flow of conversation. Humor brings a certain lightness to a situation, thereby fostering open communication that can help reduce the stigma of OCD. It’s easier to talk with someone about what OCD is and is not when nobody is worried about asking the wrong questions, or saying the wrong things.

I’ve seen Dan use his sense of humor in this way when dealing with his OCD in college. Acknowledging his obvious compulsions (such as tapping or touching), indeed even making fun of them, made his friends more comfortable and encouraged dialogue about OCD. Making fun of himself served another purpose. It demonstrated to his friends that he knew his behaviors weren’t “normal,” and he recognized they were illogical. This, I’m sure, added to their comfort level.

Therapists often recommend personifying OCD as a way to battle the disorder. I believe taking that one step further would also be beneficial: Personify OCD and then laugh at it. Making fun of something takes its power away. Laughter can take the insidious disorder that is OCD and reduce it to something non-threatening and comical. This change in perspective doesn’t happen easily, but it’s certainly worth aiming for.

Fighting OCD is no easy task, and sufferers must strive to find the approach that works for them. I believe using humor certainly can’t hurt, and this tactic likely will be a powerful tool for recovery. Because, when you think about it, isn’t humor effective in dealing with just about anything?