Food allergies or intolerances can have a great effect on your mood. For example, if you have gluten allergy or intolerance, consumption of gluten (found largely in wheat products) can leave you feeling sluggish or even depressed. Dietary changes have been suggested for children with ADHD or autism. This suggests there is a strong link between food, mood and behaviors.

Fluctuations in blood sugar also can change your mood. High blood sugar often can lead to irritability, while low blood sugar can bring about feelings of anxiety, depression and lethargy.

Research also suggests that low levels of vitamins, mineral deficiencies, and low intake of fatty acids and omega-3s can contribute to altered moods and mimic various mental health issues. Some believe that these deficiencies actually cause mental health issues. Insufficient levels of vitamin D, in particular, can lead to mood swings, depression and fatigue. If you have any deficiencies, your mood may be improved simply by adding supplements.

If you are interested in exploring how food may be affecting your moods, keep a food diary for at least two weeks. Record everything you eat and drink and your moods before and after. It may sound tedious, but it is beneficial. If you notice a pattern, you may wish to seek a nutritionist or experienced health care provider to assist you in making the necessary changes. Since diets should be individualized, you will want to make sure the changes you are making are appropriate and healthy for you.

Many people feel that it is difficult to eat healthy or to change their eating habits. It’s really simple if you keep it simple. Start slow and make changes over time. Using the all-or-nothing approach to cutting out certain foods typically leads to failure.

You can also make changes by slowly substituting bad foods with good ones. Experiment with different grains, fruits, and vegetables. Get online and find exciting new recipes, and you just may fall in love with a good food you never imagined you would eat.

Remember every change you make matters. If you fall off the wagon, just get back up. It’s about making changes to improve your emotional health. Don’t get discouraged or depressed if you slip up. Consider that day as a misstep and make healthier choices in the future. Here’s to a healthier you!

The statistics regarding obesity in America are alarming. Currently, 35 percent of American adults are obese (CDC, 2012), and that number is projected to rise to over 50 percent in most states by 2030 (Henry, 2011). We’ve been fighting the so-called “war against obesity” since the 1980s, and yet despite all of our efforts, the problem has only gotten worse. Clearly, what we’ve been doing to try to solve this problem isn’t working and is possibly making it even worse. In my opinion, the reason for this is that the psychological piece hasn’t been addressed yet and until it is, we will have an increasing problem on our hands.

Years ago I was seeing a client who we’ll call Sarah. Sarah was very obese and desperate to lose weight. Her doctor had recently told her that if she didn’t lose a significant amount of weight she would lose her mobility as well as have a host of other medical consequences. Sarah tried numerous diets and exercise programs but nothing worked. She even enrolled in a weight loss clinic but had no success. She actually ended up gaining even more weight during this time. Not knowing what else to do, Sarah’s doctor told her that she needed to talk to a therapist.

When I met Sarah she was quite desperate to lose the weight and very depressed. Much to her surprise, I told her that I didn’t want us to work on her losing weight, but rather I wanted to work on her depression and teach her to accept and love herself unconditionally. This seemed the opposite of what she needed in order to lose weight, but Sarah decided to trust me anyway. You see, like a lot of people, Sarah thought that if she could just hate herself enough, that would motivate her to do whatever it took to lose the weight. As a therapist, I know that that is simply not going to work. We therapists follow something called the “Rogerian hypothesis,” which states that people tend to move in a positive direction only when given unconditional love and acceptance. Well, I’m happy to say that after we had alleviated Sarah’s depression and she had learned to love and accept herself, the weight came right off.

The current methods for helping people lose weight seem to be the opposite of love and acceptance. Much of the efforts seem to involve trying to shame and scare people into losing weight. This simply doesn’t work. The worst thing you can do is give someone more anxiety and depression regarding their weight, and I’m going to explain why that is later on. Also, the ways we go about teaching people to lose weight are much more complicated than they need to be. One should not have to read a book, go to a clinic, or take a class to learn how to lose weight. There is a very successful diet that has been around for thousands of years and all of the big celebrities do it. Can you guess what it is? It’s called “Moving more and eating less.” How you go about accomplishing this is up to you. I believe that losing weight is not complicated and that people intuitively know how best to do it when it comes to themselves. They simply need to stop feeling so anxious and depressed about it.

Obesity and Genetics

Before I talk more about how obesity is linked to depression and anxiety, I first want to briefly address the popular belief that obesity is purely a problem of bad genes. This is the popular belief and I can see why it is so popular. In a society where people are constantly trying to shame you about your weight, it can feel good to be able to say “Hey, you have no right to shame me about my weight! It’s not something I can control! It’s because of these bad genes I have!” But in order for this to be true, it means that our genes would have had to somehow change since the 1960s. Scientists agree that genetics is not responsible for the obesity epidemic, although they do agree it is a factor. Depending on which study you look at, genes only account for between 1 percent and 5 percent of a person’s body mass index (Li et al., 2010). I think that most people would agree that 5 percent of bad genes doesn’t excuse the 95 percent of it that scientists claim is due to bad habits.

When confronted with these facts, people often cite that most of the people in their family are also obese, so it must be genetics. However, the more likely possibility is that families tend to eat the same foods and have similar habits. Genetics also doesn’t explain why obese people also tend to have obese pets (Bounds, 2011). Obviously the dog doesn’t share the same genes as the owner, but they do share the same environment. Of course, we can’t mention genetics without looking at twin studies. Since identical twins have identical genes, researchers often compare twins to examine the effects of genetics and the environment on a person.

Obesity and Depression

Researchers aren’t quite sure if obesity causes depression or if depression causes obesity, but the two are definitely linked. In fact, the two conditions are so intertwined that some are calling obesity and depression a double epidemic. Studies have found that 66 percent of those seeking bariatric, (weight loss) surgery have had a history of at least one mental health disorder. And of course, it doesn’t help that the medications people take for depression and other mental health issues can cause dramatic weight gain.

Consider this: According to the CDC, half of Americans will suffer from some sort of mental illness, and most of them will not receive any treatment for it. 63 percent of Americans are also overweight or obese. There are almost as many Americans taking diet pills as there are taking antidepressants (8 percent and 10 percent). People with mental health issues are twice as likely as those without them to be obese, and that’s even before they start taking psychiatric medication (McElroy, 2009).

So why are people with mental health issues so much more likely than those without them to be obese? We know that depression and bipolar depression slows down your metabolism (Lutter & Elmquist, 2009). Depression also depletes our willpower, making us less likely to avoid eating unhealthy foods. Depression also causes us to crave high-fat foods and sugar. This is where emotional eating comes in. When we’re feeling down, fatty and sugary foods make us feel better, at least temporarily. Of course, you don’t need to have depression or a mental illness in order to engage in emotional eating. It’s something we learn at a very young age. Eating something unhealthy is much easier than fixing the problem or dealing with what’s causing us to feel unhappy. Teaching people how to deal with unpleasant moods other than by eating would certainly cut down on emotional eating and would certainly lead to significant weight loss.

So if depression causes weight gain and antidepressants cause weight gain, then what is the solution? Well, research has shown that talk therapy is just as effective at relieving depression as antidepressant medication (Doheny, 2010), and talk therapy doesn’t have the negative side effects that medication does. Another option is exercise. In a 2005 study on the effects of exercise vs. Zoloft (anti-depressant medication) on the treatment of depression, participants were randomly placed into two groups. On group received 150 mg of Zoloft while the other group engaged in 20 minutes of cardiovascular exercise three to four times a week. After eight weeks, they found that the exercise was just as effective at reducing depression as the Zoloft! Another thing to consider is that Zoloft has negative side effects such as weight gain, sleep problems, and sexual dysfunction. As you can imagine, the side effects of exercising are the opposite of that.

In Beating Ana: How to Outsmart Your Eating Disorder and Take Your Life Back, Shannon Cutts attempts to break through the loneliness of eating disorders with the war cry “Relationships Replace Eating Disorders.” Her method focuses on the importance of developing strong relationships with the self, family, friends, and a mentor.

Shannon Cutts is very familiar with living with an eating disorder; her own struggle, she tells us, began at age 11. The weight loss and damage to her bones and ligaments ended her future career as a blues and jazz musician and she dropped out of college.

After finding a mentor and getting on the road to recovery, Cutts founded Key to Life: unlocking the door to hope, an organization that offers events, workshops, concerts, and other activities designed to facilitate with healing from eating and related disorders. She also founded MentorCONNECT, a community that connects potential mentors and mentees. Although Beating Ana is her first book, she brings to it a voice of reason, reassurance, experience, and determination.

The book is structured like an outline. There are four parts, each consisting of several chapters. The chapters begin with an email exchange between Cutts and one of her own eating disorder mentees. Cutts then explains what the chapter will focus on, whether it is the mental argument that takes place at mealtimes or the constant internal stream of insults that may come with an eating disorder. Each chapter has an assignment for the reader and ends with an encouraging “Life Celebrating Affirmation” to be repeated in times of struggle.

The first part of Beating Ana is an introduction to Cutts and the Mentor Method. She shares the story of her struggle with anorexia and bulimia and introduces the reader to the idea that “relationships replace eating disorders. Period. The end.” Her “Mentor Method” is based on the sponsor method used within the Alcoholics Anonymous program; she describes the method as the “voluntary, ongoing, interactive relationship between the mentor and mentee (giver and receiver), for the sole purpose of facilitating progress in recovery.”

Cutts moves on to target the internal conversation that takes place in the mind of a person with an eating disorder. She introduces the “H.O.W. of Recovery (Honesty-Openness-Willingness)” which is another tradition of Alcoholics Anonymous, one that is very important to the recovery process. She also highlights the “F.E.A.R factor: False Evidence Appearing Real.” For example, to someone with an eating disorder, the F.E.A.R. may be “food is a toxic substance that we must avoid at all costs,” whereas the FACT is that “food is a must for our body to survive.”

The bulk of the book is taken up by part three, which focuses on what we can learn from films. However, the movies that Cutts cites and uses for each chapter do not focus on a character with an eating disorder; rather, they provide a lesson for the reader to focus on and an assignment that assists in learning it. The movies that Cutts refers to are varied: from “8 Mile” to “Catch Me If You Can” and “Something’s Gotta Give” to “Girl, Interrupted,” each movie has a lesson about perseverance, freedom, or the finality of death. This section ends on “A Beautiful Mind.” Focusing on the main character’s determination to gain control over his own illness, Cutts encourages the reader to make a list of his or her own “I can’t” scenarios and replace them with “I can” statements.

Finally, Cutts wraps up the book with a section that she says contains “some of the key techniques” from her own recovery work. She encourages readers to take control over their mind; to assert domination over the eating disorder voice; to make life and living the number-one priority; to accept that relapses may happen but to use them as “rocket fuel for recovery;” and to recognize that they are separate individuals from the eating disorders and that the eating disorder does not identify them.

Shannon Cutts makes a powerful impression. Although I do not have any personal experience with an eating disorder, I could feel the author’s words resonating with me and the encouragement and support they conveyed. I was even able to see where some of the lessons may even be applicable to my own life.

That being said, her book is probably not the best source for someone to turn to if they are attempting to understand, from the outside, the mind of someone with an eating disorder (e.g., a parent trying to understand their child). Indeed, the book is not meant for this use. It is specifically geared toward the person with an eating disorder. Although the lessons of each chapter are valuable, the chapters that are inspired by movies may be a bit abstract for some readers. For instance, the lesson from “Something’s Gotta Give” is that putting too much restriction on your life does not allow you to live. Being an adoring fan of said movie, I had to ponder this particular note on the plot for a few moments to begin to see the point that Cutts was attempting to make. Perhaps viewing the movie while working on the assignment that Cutts has paired with it (which is her suggestion) would help a bit more.

Overall, however, Beating Ana seems like a wonderful resource for someone suffering from an eating disorder. Shannon Cutts’s personal experience makes her an experienced ally and mentor to someone who may be lost on the path to recovery. Her cheerful determination and powerful enthusiasm make this book a great tool to keep on hand.

Beating Ana: How to Outsmart your Eating Disorder and Take Your Life Back
HCI, January, 2009
Paperback: 236 pages
$14.95

It should be noted up-front that these drugs are meant for people who are obese — those with a BMI number 30 or greater. While doctors often prescribe drugs for conditions not specifically approved by the FDA (called “off-label” use), doctors are likely to be more conservative in prescribing these two drugs when they first become available because of their unfamiliarity with them.

Both drugs can also be prescribed to people who are overweight, with a BMI of 27 or more and at least one weight-related condition such as type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, or high cholesterol.

Qsymia (pronounced kyoo-sim-EE-uh and manufactured by Vivus Pharmaceuticals) and Belviq (pronounced bel-VEEK and manufactured by Arena Pharmaceuticals) have been shown to be effective in their clinical trials to help people lose significant amounts of weight.

Qsymia appears to be the more effective weight loss medication. People taking Qsymia for up to one year had an average weight loss of nearly 9 percent over those taking an inactive placebo. Over 70 percent of people taking Qsymia lost at least 5 percent of their body weight (only 20 percent of patients taking an inactive placebo lost this much weight).

People taking Belviq had an average weight loss that was 3 to 3.7 percent greater than people taking placebo. After taking Belviq for one or two years, some 47 percent of people without diabetes lost at least 5% of their body weight (only 23 percent of patients taking an inactive placebo lost this much weight.)

Although likely to be expensive, both weight loss drugs will likely be approved by insurance companies for treatment of obesity or being overweight with other health conditions. Why? Because obesity is a serious chronic health problem affecting more than one-third of U.S. adults (35.7 percent), according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. As such, it costs insurers a lot of money. In 2008, medical costs associated with obesity were estimated at $147 billion. Anything to bring those costs down is likely to become approved for payment by insurance companies.

How Do Qsymia and Belviq Work?

Qsymia combines two generic drugs in a new formulation. One half the drug is composed of the seizure and migraine medication called topiramate. Topiramate causes weight loss in several ways, including increasing feelings of fullness, making foods taste less appealing, and increasing calorie burning. The other half of Qsymia is the appetite-suppressant called phentermine. Phentermine is thought to suppress appetite by triggering release of a brain chemical that increases blood concentrations of the appetite-regulating hormone leptin.

Belviq, on the other hand, appears to work by turning on a specific chemical “switch” in the brain that increases levels of serotonin. It’s not clear exactly why this helps a person lose weight.

Who Can’t Take These Drugs?

As with all medications, certain people cannot take these medications.

• Pregnant or nursing women should not take either Belviq or Qsymia.
• Qsymia:
  • People with glaucoma
  • People who have been told they have an overactive thyroid
  • People taking a type of antidepressant called a MAOI
  • People allergic to phentermine or topiramate
• Belviq:
  People taking drugs linked to valvular heart disease, such as cabergoline (Dostinex)
  • People taking certain medicines for depression; migraine; the common cold; or mood, anxiety, psychotic, or thought disorders
  • Men with conditions that predispose them to erections lasting more than four hours. These conditions include sickle cell anemia, multiple myeloma, and leukemia
  • Men with a deformed penis

When Can I Get Them?

Qsymia will be available sometime after September 2012, while Belviq won’t be available until early-to-mid 2013.

As with any medication, talk to your doctor to see if this medication may be right for you. Tell your doctor if you are on any other medications, nutritional supplements (including vitamins), pregnant, nursing, or have any other health condition.

Over the years, Rose had tried various ways to cure her food and weight obsession. Although she had been able to achieve some temporary relief, nothing lasted for very long. She soon found herself back on the not-so-merry-go-round of failed diets and increasing self-hatred and desperation. Was there something Rose was not getting?

I did a thorough review of all her previous attempts to get better: the numerous diets, New Year’s resolutions, self-help books, a workshop here and there, also a couple of Overeaters Anonymous groups.

A pattern started to emerge: It seemed that every time she started to feel better and more in control of her weight she would stop getting support, because she believed she should be able to control her food and weight by herself.

She was able to keep the healthy momentum on her own for a while, but inevitably she would fall off the wagon and then feel terrible about herself again. She would beat herself up and resolve to do “better next time.” Years of this pattern had brought her self-esteem to an all-time low. She described herself as “a failure” and “out of control.” She had developed painful habits around constantly obsessing about her weight and hating her body.

The Band-aid Approach

I call this approach that Rose was using “Band-aid treatment.” She was not really addressing the underlying wound or problem; she was simply trying to feel better. There is nothing wrong with trying to feel better—we all do this. But if a wound keeps reappearing, the underlying cause needs to be explored and addressed; otherwise, the wound will keep getting reinfected.

Rose’s problem was that as soon as she experienced some symptom relief she would drop whatever support she was receiving, because she honestly believed she should be able to continue on her own. Dropping the support was sending her back into the negative cycles around her body and weight. She needed to stop the negative cycles long enough to be able to see what was driving them emotionally. In other words, she needed to stabilize patterns on the physical plane before she could explore what was happening on the emotional plane.

I was honest with her. I told her I wasn’t sure I could help. I predicted that after a few sessions with me she would start to feel better and then move on without addressing the real problem. I suggested that she decide on one method of treatment and stick to it until her recovery was rock-solid strong. I encouraged her to stop beating herself up for not being able to sustain recovery by herself. Most important, I stressed the importance of getting ongoing support if she really wanted full and lasting recovery.

Rose decided to see if my suggestions might work. As I predicted, pretty early on she experienced immediate symptom relief as she stabilized her eating and exercise routines. This was the “Band-aid stage” where she would usually quit whatever treatment or support she was getting because she felt better. She decided to give me the benefit of the doubt to see if keeping the support she got through our weekly sessions could help her sustain her recovery.

From my end, this was when the real work began. Now that problems on the physical plane had stabilized somewhat, we were better able to address the emotional issues that kept her trapped in negative cycles around her body and weight.

Rose worked hard. She looked at the deeply internalized messages she got from family around how much her value depended on looking a certain way. She explored the many overt and covert messages she received that fed her fears that if she didn’t look skinny she would not be loved, accepted or belong. She looked at how she used food to attempt to replace some of the comfort and nurturing she didn’t expect from her relationships. She explored the isolation she maintained because of the fear of others’ judgment. How food had become her drug was also explored: She used over- and undereating to stuff or disconnect from her pain. I had great respect for Rose’s courage and willingness to explore herself at this level.

Although Rose was getting a lot out of individual therapy, I encouraged her also to look for a group to join and maybe check out some workshops. I knew that if the outside world was not also factored in, her recovery would be hard to sustain. I explained to Rose the importance of hearing other women’s recovery stories so she could know she was not the only one going through this. She knew this intellectually, but emotionally she still struggled in isolation. She could reach out to me at her most vulnerable, but I knew her full recovery meant also getting this kind of emotional support outside my office

Luckily, where we live there is an abundance of groups and workshops that support women in better relating to their bodies and food. Rose chose a group that also used creative and expressive art. She had loved drawing as a child, so it was a delight to rediscover it.

She was surprised by what her art revealed. While this made her feel very vulnerable, she was relieved to see that the other women were also uncovering surprising, somewhat uncomfortable revelations. Seeing these other women share their experiences with the group gave Rose the courage to do the same. She was astounded at the amount of support she received, usually at the exact places where she would normally turn to food for comfort.

So why is support so important? As I have shown, in Rose’s case support helped her explore the underlying emotional wheels that were turning these painful patterns with food, weight and her body.

The next level of support was taking her very personal battle out into her community and feeling held there. This step was particularly important because the road to disordered eating usually is paved with social, cultural and familial messages that encouraged us to turn food into the enemy and our bodies into the battleground. Dysfunctional patterns with food and hatred of one’s body are learned behaviors; we were not born with them.

To combat the strong, negative messages we constantly get about our bodies from media, society and even family requires conscious effort and lots of support. We need other messages continually coming in that encourage us to focus on self-care, self-love and health of mind, body and spirit. Creating a strong community that feeds us these positive messages is the sure way to sustain a lasting recovery.

The sooner you get support the better. The women I meet who have been muscling through on their own for the longest are usually the lowest on the recovery scale. This is because the disordered eating has also created disordered thinking. Sadly, I rarely see their solo recovery efforts work. Instead, these women dig that much deeper into the battle with their bodies and appetites. Many years later when they realize how much energy they have wasted on this painful battle, they often experience great remorse that they didn’t get support sooner.

Reaching out for help and support is not weak. It takes enormous strength and courage. The better you are able to build community and support around your recovery, the longer your recovery will last, and the more empowered you will feel.

As an atheist, Ackerman’s point of view is unique among recovery-oriented and 12-step literature. Many people struggling with addiction don’t try 12-step programs because of their emphasis on a “higher power.” Ackerman also focuses on what he believes are misconceptions surrounding 12-step programs.

I chose to review this book because it was different. I am a Christian. I also happen to have an eating disorder. As part of my treatment, I briefly participated in a 12-step group. Prior to reading this, I never knew that anyone who identified themselves as an atheist ever took part in such a group. I was excited to read about it from a new perspective.

Ackerman does a good job summarizing some of his experience into short, easy-to-digest sections that also are easily to relate to. As someone currently struggling with an eating disorder, I certainly related to his frustration with wanting to stop his behavior, but feeling powerless in doing so. I also greatly appreciated his brutal honesty.  His occasional humor was also a welcomed and unexpected surprise. This is definitely not your average 12-step book. However, he does leave much to be desired.

For one thing, Ackerman never explains the 12 steps themselves. This would confuse a reader unfamiliar with the structure of such programs. 12-step programs take participants through a series of “steps” to aid in recovery. These steps start with admitting there is a problem and seeking support. They end with a commitment both to aid others who are still struggling and to continue carrying the lessons learned through the rest of the participant’s life. Although this began with Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), the general idea has been tweaked many times over to fit everything from drug to sex addictions and more.

This is a book centered around the 12-step recovery model, and I realize that. However, Ackerman spends much of the book praising the program, without even mentioning the many other programs out there. Instead, he sings the praises of the 12-step recovery model as if it is the absolute cure-all for all addictions and mental illnesses. This is simply untrue. If Ackerman were right, there would be no need for any other rehabilitation centers or support groups for addicts and others who are mentally ill.

“No one comes into a 12-step program by the grace of God or with a firm belief in a Higher Power.” Bold statements such as this are common in Ackerman’s book. In the section titled, “God (?)” Ackerman defends his point by saying that addicts worship their drug of choice, not a higher power. While one can see his reasoning, I don’t think a person’s mental health issues translate into having no faith in God.

[A]Musings of a Spiritual Atheist left me conflicted. I liked some of it, while utterly disliking other parts. It was certainly an interesting and thought-provoking read.

[A]Musings of a Spiritual Atheist
By Andrew J. Ackerman
www.lulu.com: January 23, 2012
Paperback, 204 pages
$19.95

In Hope with Eating Disorders: A Self-Help Guide for Parents, Carers and Friends of Sufferers, Lynn Crilly tries to make these facts known. In the beginning of her thoughtful book, Crilly tells us why she is so invested in educating the public on eating disorders: “I will never forget the bleak times I faced as a mother, watching my daughter waste away, and how futile and frustrated I felt. These feelings are very often echoed in the faces of the carers I now work alongside, in my newfound career as a counselor.”

Crilly is obviously emotionally invested in her subject. This allows her to write from a place of compassion and empathy, as well as authority. By having gone through the familial trauma of eating disorders herself, Crilly knows firsthand what havoc they can wreak. In this way, Hope with Eating Disorders almost becomes something of a person to talk to in the midst of chaos; a therapist; someone from whom one can gain emotional insight and wisdom; someone from whom one can learn.

One area that Crilly skillfully addresses is how eating disorders affect not just the afflicted, but also the afflicted’s support system—the family. Crilly writes:

If you are a parent, you’ve become accustomed to providing your child with everything they require – physically and, when you can, emotionally. Finding yourself in a situation where, suddenly, you are unable to fulfill this role is incredibly frustrating. For any carer, the feelings of futility and despair as your loved one destroys their health and happiness with an eating disorder are incredibly difficult to deal with.

Unfortunately, this often goes unacknowledged. In many situations, carers of eating disorder sufferers go through a worse time than the sufferers themselves.

Crilly maintains this level of empathy throughout the book. Having been in such a position herself, she knows the realities. She knows both what the sufferer goes through as well as the carers. And as a counselor, Crilly has the knowledge to go along with the history. In this way, she is able to lay out the facts before providing wisdom and advice. For without truly knowing what one is up against, how can one combat it?

Crilly starts Hope with Eating Disorders with a small introduction, giving a brief synopsis of what the book includes. She then moves into discussing anorexia and bulimia specifically, and giving us the facts. After this, she discusses treatments and therapies, provides an interview with an expert, and then moves into some of the more culturally specific areas of eating disorders, including sports, the media and education.

It’s difficult not to recommend Hope with Eating Disorders. It bills itself as a “self-help guide,” and that is truly what it is. It’s a reference. It’s a go-to source for dealing with trauma. It’s, again, something of a therapist for those trying to aid the afflicted.

What Crilly really rams home is how no sufferer can go through this alone. They need someone to step in and get them help. As well, they need someone to empathize. Crilly writes: “By focusing on physical symptoms only, we’re missing the emotional signs. Knowing this is the carer’s greatest ally.” Eating disorders, at their core, are rooted in something psychological. There is something that is forcing the afflicted to go to such extreme lengths. And as Crilly points out, the key to discovering them is twofold: find proper treatment and give adequate support. Only through hope, belief and love can eating disorders be overcome.

Given how close to home this book is for Crilly, I’d like to close this review with a lengthier quote that provides a deeper statement of Crilly’s mission:

One of the most dangerous myths surrounding eating disorders is that they are a life sentence. It is distressing to see people managing their conditions, learning to cope with them on a day-to-day basis, with both the sufferer and their carers resigned to the fact that this is as good as it gets.

Hope with Eating Disorders will show you that full and lasting recovery is possible. It will allow you to see how you and your loved one can free yourselves from the prison of eating disorders and enjoy the liberty of a life that isn’t dictated by food, once more.

Hope with Eating Disorders: A Self-Help Guide for Parents, Carers and Friends of Sufferers
By Lynn Crilly
Hay House Insights: March 19, 2012
Paperback, 280 pages
$17.95

In Diet Rehab: 28 Days to Finally Stop Craving the Foods That Make You Fat, Dr. Mike Dow shows you in no uncertain terms how brain chemistry is responsible for our addiction to certain foods.  With a masters degree in counseling, family and marriage therapy, as well as a doctorate in psychology, Dow also is a co-host of TLC’s hit show, Freaky Eaters.

“Overconsumption of high-fat or sweet and starchy foods has taught your body to stop making enough of its own dopamine or serotonin, while tolerance has caused you to need ever-greater quantities of those tempting foods just to feel normal.”  And there you have it, a reference to the two neurotransmitters playing roles in our addiction to food.  Dr. Dow’s Diet Rehab is a 28-day program that consists of adding “booster” foods and activities while, at the same time, putting your body through a gradual detox by reducing “pitfall” foods and thoughts.  The goal is to become free of pitfalls altogether, relying on boosters for a healthier production of either one or both of those neurotransmitters. 

Using his training as a cognitive-behavioral therapist, Dr. Dow identifies seven pitfall thought patterns to avoid:  personalization, pervasiveness, paralysis-analysis, pessimism, polarization, psychic, and permanence.  On the flip side of that he also gives dieters seven booster attributes to master:  purpose, peace, pride, power, passion, productivity, and pleasure.  Even if you do not struggle with your weight, this diet plan has some very good overall information to ponder.

After first reading about food addiction – he tells his patients that “food is the most socially acceptable drug of choice” – you move on to look at the way your brain reacts to food.  This cause-and-effect relationship is probably not something you think about, or have ever thought about, when you are eating those foods that fall in the category of I-know-it’s-bad-for-me-but-it-tastes-so-good.   

So how does one know if they are “hungry for serotonin” or “ravenous for dopamine,” or, in some cases that could be likened to a double whammy, “starving for serotonin and desperate for dopamine”?  Two quizzes consisting of 30 statements each are presented for you to rate the frequency at which each statement applies to you (never, rarely, sometimes, frequently, always).  A formula then is used to calculate your score, identifying the level of neurotransmitter imbalance or lack thereof.  Dr. Dow recommends that both scores be obtained as they are necessary for selecting the appropriate version of the diet. 

With that knowledge firmly in hand, you will also read about emotional eating, obsessive eating, and binge eating.  Quizzes are provided there as well to assess if they might also be factoring into your eating habits.

One study referenced in Diet Rehab may help to illustrate the theory of food addiction very well.  “The brain-stimulating effects of sugar are so addictive that mice whose ability to taste sugar had been removed still chose sugar water over regular water every time they were presented with both.  Clearly, neither taste nor ‘psychology’ were involved.  The mice were responding purely to the chemical effects of sugar.”

According to the World Health Organization in February 2010, one billion adults were overweight.  Without action that number is expected to climb to 1.5 billion by 2015.  Even more disturbing was their statistic that, globally, 42 million children under the age of 5 were overweight.  They see this as one of the most serious public health challenges of the 21st century, as these children are likely to become obese adults.  Even as I was writing this review, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in the United States came out with a new study that predicts obesity rates will increase 42 percent by the year 2030, with severe obesity predicted to double from 5 percent currently to 11 percent.

Diet Rehab provides a step-by-step program – complete with lists of booster snacks and meals, manageable servings of pitfall foods, seven days of quick and easy recipes, and other helpful tools – that can make it easier to be successful in your next diet attempt.  When you make the determination that you are not ready to be included in the dire statistics predicted by the World Health Organization and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, pick up a copy of Diet Rehab.  You have only that excess weight to lose.

Diet Rehab:  28 Days to Finally Stop Craving the Foods That Make You Fat
By Dr. Mike Dow
Avery: December 27, 2011
Hardcover, 336 pages
$26

As I cried, I wanted to believe it was the alcohol that induced Mom’s words.  I had to believe it was the alcohol.  I don’t want them.  The words rang in my ears.  That’s the night my heart first broke.

White Elephants is the story of Chynna Laird’s childhood with an alcoholic, bipolar mother.  Not for the faint of heart, this memoir is a gripping tale that Laird colorfully paints for those unfamiliar with what it is like to grow up in this situation.

This review’s opening paragraph comes from a story in the first chapter. Laird overhears a phone call between her grandmother and her mother.  Her mom is drunk and on one of her many “vacations” and Laird’s grandparents are taking care of Laird and her brother, Cam.  Five-year-old Tami (the name Laird went by for most of her life) hears her mother say on the phone, “I don’t want them.”  This scene sets the stage for the drama that plays through the rest of the book.

No one seemed to understand the manic behavior and profound depression of Tami’s mother, Janet. Janet’s siblings and parents were constantly at their wit’s end. Laird describes several points when her mother was clearly actively suicidal.

Living in a chaotic home filled with binge drinking, verbal and physical abuse will leave its mark on a child.  Tami was molested and raped in her own home.  She and her brother started drinking at a young age and were both involved in drugs at various points.  They both struggled with anger.  Cam raged on the exterior, punching walls and sometimes turning on their mother, whereas Tami unleashed her anger on herself.  She was known among other high school students for crying when she was drunk. By the age of 15, she had begun cutting and even attempted suicide one night.  As she grew older, Tami struggled with her self-esteem and developed bulimia.

In hindsight, Laird is able to recognize the “angels” who played a role in her life.  She and Cam were close to their grandparents, who practically raised them. They were the only real parents that Tami had ever known and their influence was prevalent through most of her life. 

Her stepfather, Pat, rescued her many times from herself and from her mother.  At 15, Tami was drunk at a party and had to call Pat to pick her up.  When they got home, he hugged her and told her he was not going to ask what happened.  “I just wanted you to know I’m glad you’re both home safe…You’re better than this, Tam.  You’re better than she is.” 

However, when Tami finally realized that she needed help, she turned to her godmother, “Auntie Lois.”  Tami moved in with Lois and her family and began a daily ritual of having tea with her aunt.  Over tea, Lois would patiently listen while Tami spoke about the trauma, the alcohol, and all of the other dark secrets that she had been carrying for so long.  This was the turning point for Tami:

In that moment, as I felt Auntie Lois hug me – a person who really believed me, a person so close to God she could be considered an angel – the flood gates opened and I cried.  I cried for the little girl I never was.  I cried for all the times I hurt but couldn’t react.  I cried for not having a mother who loved me the way she wanted to.

White Elephants touched me much more than I expected.  Laird says that she wrote the book in hopes that it would help someone who has been in a similar situation.  Because she could not help her mom, she hopes that someone can find some help in her story.  Although I have not been through the trials that she has, her strength and determination to not allow her mother’s abuse to determine her future is admirable and inspiring.  The moment I began reading her book I could not put it down.  Moreover, after finishing it 24 hours after I started it, I was ready to read it again.  There are not enough adjectives to adequately describe White Elephants: inspiring, tragic, heroic, admirable, honest, and deeply moving.  There were points when I found myself crying along with Tami and others when I was cheering for her on the sidelines during her recovery.

I think that Laird accomplished her goal through her story.  Not everyone will be able to relate to the events, but I believe most people will be able to relate to the struggle of pulling yourself out of depression and finding your own feet to stand on.  In this way, Laird has most assuredly accomplished her goal for this beautiful book.

White Elephants – A Memoir
By Chynna T. Laird
Eagle Wings Press: February 1, 2011
Paperback, 280 pages
$14

Acts of violence have always been a part of human nature and will continue unless we become some sci-fi world with better living through chemistry and genetic manipulation. Sure, there are general reasons the experts will point to, such as alienation; access to guns; too much exposure to violence; a society whose leaders lack values; and families who are disconnected from community.

But the reality is that the great majority of teenagers are growing up in this environment and not killing anyone. That doesn’t mean we should ignore steps to reduce the negative influences on their lives and ours. It does mean that no matter what we do, there will always be tragedies. We simply do not have that much control over another person’s life. That is a frightening reality for most parents to accept.

But this doesn’t mean that parents shouldn’t be doing things that make it more likely that their children would turn out okay. Inside each home there are parents asking if their son or daughter could be in trouble and the parents might not know it. Or, even scarier, there are parents who see their children struggling and feel powerless to help. What do we know that will help?

Well, the research points to the same issue nearly every time: children who have stronger relationships with their parents are less likely to end up in serious trouble. My emphasis on “serious” is because too often parents are upset about issues that are not life-threatening or life-determining. Clean rooms, grades and homework, being disorganized, being impulsive and screwing up, foul language, a few extra holes in an ear, some grungy friends, some broken curfews, or the protective or manipulative “lies” that children use to try to get away with things – all normal adolescent behaviors that do not alone signify a child “going down the tubes.”

Adolescence is a time for many teens to experience disconnection and disorientation, to become confused and uncertain about their values or about their capacity for success. It is a time to be scared about changing bodies and changing friends and experiencing failures when success may have usually come easily. It is a time to defy and distrust authority. It is a time, especially in with the phenomenon of the Internet, when teens’ worlds expand exponentially and it is quite a challenge for them to digest and manage all to which they are exposed.

Parents often respond to this by waging battles for control. While it is essential to have some unequivocal rules that involve health and safety and to seek help from others if there are signs of more serious trouble (e.g., depression, explosive outbursts, eating disorders, substance abuse, marked change in personality), it is particularly important to focus less on content and more on process.

What does this mean? Simply, that nothing is a substitute for maintaining the connection between you and your teenager. Time must be found for one-to-one interactions. Parents must be ready to give their attention when a teenager is suddenly ready to talk. Parents need to spend some time inside the world of their teenager and try to do so without being too judgmental. Do errands and chores together. Find an activity that can be shared. Take a teenage child out to dinner occasionally. A parent whose work involves travel can bring along a teenage child and turn it into a significantly valuable time together. Know each other!

Remember that you most likely did some things wrong along the way. It can be helpful to share that. Why should your child be open with you if there is not some reciprocity? That includes sharing some of your current anxieties or mistakes. We all mess up. We all have our vulnerabilities. We all seek safety and security. In that way, you and your teen have much in common. The key difference is that a teen’s life has few real choices and does not have a valued place in our society. We ask them to be responsible but there is little immediate reinforcement for that except to keep the adults from being angry and disappointed with them. Believe in your child, even when he or she is struggling, or simply not meeting your expectations.

For some parents, there is the harsh reality that, despite doing a good job, their child is having significant problems, and the parents are being shut out while nothing seems to be helping. This is definitely painful and scary. Even with professional help and support from school staff, some child will fall into a “black hole,” influenced by biology, peers, and social forces. This underscores another reality about the tragedies that have been taking place: All the perpetrators have been male.

Our society gives out powerful messages that are absorbed by our children. What girls hear and respond to leads them to turn against themselves, especially in the form of eating disorders (and a skyrocketing rate of smoking). What boys hear and respond to leads them to turn against others, in acts of verbal and physical abuse. In the face of all this, parents are worried, possibly more than ever, about the health and success of their children.

But I must return to my primary message of urging parents to have a more optimistic outlook and to not let their anxiety sabotage what is most important, the relationship each parent has with each child. A friend and colleague, Bob Brooks, often speaks about the resiliency of children and what contributes to it. The research clearly indicates that the presence of a “charismatic adult” is one of the primary predictors of turning out okay.

So often I read the stories of successful adults who grew up under terrible circumstances and there is always reference to a parent, relative, teacher, or coach who believed in them and provided guidance and an available ear when needed. Dr. Brooks often ends his presentations by challenging parents to be that charismatic adult in the lives of their children. It is no guarantee that everything will turn out all right. Nothing can do that. But it does make it much more likely that you will end up with an adult child who is not only doing well but is also your friend.

The two women came together to write the 8 Keys to Recovery From an Eating Disorder in order to extend their help to the “more than 20 million people in the US alone [who] suffer from an eating disorder.”  They note, however, that it may be useful for the sufferer’s family and friends, as well as mental health professionals.

Since both authors are familiar with eating disorders on professional and personal levels, they understand that each person will have a unique recovery process.  For this reason, the book is not regimented and is designed so that you are free to skip around and read what interests you. To make it more personal, the authors include many writing assignments to help readers engage.

Most important, you don’t have to be completely ready to recover before you begin reading this book.  Costin and Grabb write “we don’t consider lack of motivation a weakness or problem; we understand it.”  They know that there often is a feeling of ambivalence toward recovery; they believe their job is twofold: to help their readers deal with this and to continue to motivate them.

Because these authors work so hard to make this text a personal experience for each reader, and since they are so familiar with the intricacies of the illness and steps in the recovery process, I would highly recommend them to anyone suffering from an eating disorder — especially if you feel alone.  These two strong women are proof that you are not alone and that you can recover.

Costin and Grabb are gentle in their guidance.  They do not push their readers, but consistently encourage and motivate.  They explain everything thoroughly, so that readers aren’t just receiving advice, but are actually learning about the recovery process. They also take the time to explain that their goal is for the reader eventually to recover. They are careful to use this word instead of “recovering” or “in recovery” because they both feel that being recovered is reaching a state of acceptance and having a proper perspective on food, weight and your own physical and mental health.  Additionally, they both feel that they are recovered and therefore want to help others feel the same.

While the goal is clear, Costin and Grabb don’t believe that recovery itself is a linear process.  This is why they encourage readers to explore the chapters in random order. They also are careful to explain that during the recovery process “your motivation, patience and hope will come and go.”  This is a constant reminder that the path is long, but their friendly and gentle advice will be by your side.  As shown in the quote, they directly speak to you as a reader, so you feel quite intimate with them. 

To make it even more personal, the authors encourage readers to keep a journal to document feelings and experiences during the process.  They give writing assignments in each section as prompts, and include example entries in the back, but they mostly want to help readers create a space where they can talk about their eating disorder and record all their thoughts and feelings.  This way, as readers get further along, they can return to those ideas later and get a sense of their progress.

The 8 keys that Costin and Grabb outline offer new perspectives.  It isn’t an attack on eating disorders; it is a journey of understanding.  Mostly, I felt the authors provided their readers with the vocabulary to articulate feelings and experiences.  For example, they give examples of common statements made by people with eating disorders, such as “I know I wear a size 4, but when I look in the mirror I see a fat person.”  This gives readers an opportunity to see themselves in the examples and also serves as a platform for the authors to demonstrate their keys.  In this example, they show how a person with an eating disorder is struggling with two selves: their healthy self and their eating disorder self.  In addition to providing examples like this, they also include their own stories and other real-life examples from people who have also recovered.

What I most enjoyed about Costin and Grabb’s approach was their compassionate tone and realistic advice.  They are invested in providing real hope, motivation and insight for readers.  Their attention to real-life issues, such as lack of motivation, fear, or even voicing concerns like the “need for distraction,” all show that they have intimate experience with this type of treatment.  At one point they include a short conversation between Costin and Grabb that happened during Grabb’s recovery.  Grabb says “What am I supposed to do with all these feelings?” and Costin says, “Feel them.”  I think this is a perfect demonstration of how they embrace the entire process of recovery.  

Costin and Grabb support their clients so they can learn to accept and understand instead of always having to fight their illness.  Their keys are clear and flexible.  Readers certainly will have to face some hard truths, but they are in charge of the pacing and do have someone who understands.

8 Keys to Recovery from an Eating Disorder: Effective Strategies from Therapeutic Practice and Personal Experience
By Carolyn Costin and Gwen Schubert Grabb
W. W. Norton & Company: November 7, 2011
Paperback, 296 pages
$19.95

I found the book to be both hilarious and sad. There were points when the author’s frustrations were becoming mine. This book is a no-holds barred, educational read that keeps the reader unable to put it down. I tip my hat to Stacy Pershall for sharing such a personal tale with us. It has changed my understanding of these disorders forever.

It seems to me the author was trying to share her very personal journey through early adulthood with BPD, BD, and various other problems. This she accomplishes in both an effective and entertaining manner. She told us her story from top to bottom, leaving nothing out. She also speaks very highly of Dialectical Behavior Therapy, though I’m not sure if she emphasized this as much as she had intended.

Her small-town childhood, her constant questioning of her identity are things that many people can relate to. Not knowing where one belongs, or who one is, are universal questions. Some people have a much easier time answering these questions than others. This is a concept I can personally relate to quite well.

I love Pershall’s honesty. On the medication front alone she offers anecdotes about her use of speed and alcohol; the side effects of prescription meds; the lack of correcting the underlying problem she experienced with pharmeceuticals; and her list of the plethora of meds she was prescribed.

Pershall’s describing Dr. Phillip J. Thornton as her savior of sorts is an experience that I think many people can relate to. Finding that one doctor, therapist, spiritual leader, etc. who seems to understand you, after you’ve been through a hundred professionals who never quite “got you,” is often a turning point in many people’s lives — perhaps a life-saving one.

Her bout with anorexia and bulimia was fully and simply described by the quote “Playing with anorexia is like playing with heroin, fire, plutonium, or Scientology.” — Humorous, yet scarily true. She is so direct and maintains a sense of humor through it all.

I found her connection to certain authors and novels to be interesting also. From Sylvia Plath to Anthony Burgess’s A Clockwork Orange, she showed a very eclectic interest in books with very independent protagonists. She even mentions William S. Burroughs, an eccentric writer of the Beat generation. It seems as though her brief foray into acting was another way to explore, and even become other, various characters.

Pershall’s mention of “splitting,” a dissociatiove experience common to those with borderline personality disorder, shouldn’t be ignored either. Her reference to splitting just before her breakup with Reese was classic.

I’d like to touch on her relationship with religion in response to he disorders. She said it best on pg. 188 with “IF THIS COULD BE PRAYED AWAY I’D BE WELL. ” It also intrigued me when she mentions her father considering mental illness as a sin. That, to me, is a scary, seriously antiquated thought.

I couldn’t imagine writing this review without touching on her tattooing. I understand where she’s coming from when she discusses on pg. 153 ” . . . something that scared me is exorcised, incorporated, with me forever. ” Getting tattoos seems to be her way of facing, and embracing, her fears.

I will end this with her speaking of BPD as an illness “that should be placed on the spectrum of impulse control disorders.” This seems like a pretty solid idea to me, and she goes on to explain it better, getting into the brain chemistry of it. It must also be noted how strongly she speaks of DBT, and how it changed her “because of two things: the focus on the dialectic, or gray area, between good and bad, and the strict adherence to the rules required.” The author speaks so highly of DBT, it seems as though anybody yet to find treatment for BPD or BD should give DBT a shot.

Loud in the House of Myself: Memoir of a Strange Girl
By Stacey Pershall
W. W. Norton & Company (reprint edition): January 23, 2012
$14.95

From all outward appearances, Kitty looked like the girl who had it all: a straight-A student; an accomplished gymnast; and a happy, well-liked teen who loved reading, horses, and even cooking.  By sixth grade, however, she began counting calories and maintaining what appeared to be a healthy diet. However, Kitty’s dieting grew to an out-of-control obsession. Crisis hit at age 14 when Kitty woke up in the night and told her mother that her heart “felt funny.”  In the hospital’s intensive care unit, Kitty was discovered to be underweight by 20 pounds and with a heart rate of only 42 beats a minute (normal is 60 to 80). She could have died from a heart attack. 

Brown’s crusade to save her daughter taught her many things, including some facts that terrify her: “most people with anorexia bounce in and out of hospitals, recovering and relapsing. That anorexia is the deadliest psychiatric illness; close to 20 percent of anorexics die, about half from starvation and the other half from suicide. Nearly one-fifth of all anorexics try suicide; many succeed.”  She also learns that recovery time is painfully slow — on average five to seven years.

In fact, Kitty was in and out of hospitals and did not recover quickly. Brown looked for help wherever she could, through a support group, books, and different kinds of therapy. As expenses for hospitalizations and treatments escalated, Brown fought with the insurance company over costs. When Kitty was home, Brown concocted high-calorie drinks and snacks and spoon-fed Kitty just to make sure she was eating.

No step of this was easy. As Brown describes it, Kitty was often Not Kitty–someone who appeared almost demon-possessed. “I know my daughter’s face far better than I know my own. I’ve stared at it, examined it, admired it, loved it…,” writes Brown. “But I’ve never seen this face before. Her eyes have gone blank; her mouth turns downward in almost a caricature of a pout. Her tongue pokes out, and…I realize with horror that it’s flicking like a snake’s forked tongue.”

It’s an image that makes any parent cringe, and yet any parent who has dealt with a teen’s mental illness can immediately relate.  Without a doubt, Brown’s sincerity is one of this book’s strengths. Brown writes honestly as a parent who is admittedly flawed and yet who remains vigilant in her quest. She tells readers that she ignored the signs of Kitty’s anorexia in its early stages. She admits to being exasperated and tired in feeding Kitty/Not Kitty. All the way, Brown relays how she navigated the system, what she learned, and how she kept her family together.

Even though this is a memoir, Brown, a journalist who writes for O, Redbook, and Psychology Today, skillfully weaves research into her narrative. She brings in lesser-known facts about anorexia, some of which explain why this disease seems to strike certain individuals, why it’s so hard for Kitty to gain weight, and even why this disease can actually appear to be a “demon.”

Certainly this is an engaging book–well-written and driven by a compassionate voice. Even so, I longed for Brown to push a little harder with her narrative scenes. For instance, I would liked for Brown to bring me to her dinner table so I could actually hear Not Kitty and see how family members reacted to her. Rather, Brown often glossed over the drama and summarized what happens. Because of this, Brave Girl , at least in my mind, is not on par with some of the top tier mental health memoirs, such as Lucky, The Unquiet Mind, and Girl, Interrupted.

Still, this book has a great deal to offer.  Any parent who has a child with an eating disorder will appreciate its helpful advice, interesting facts, and attempts at comfort. In the midst of crisis, it’s nice to know others have been this way before.

Brave Girl Eating: A Family’s Struggle with Anorexia
By Harriet Brown
Harper Collins: September 13, 2011
Paperback, 270 pages
$14.99

The foreword is the only attempt Schubart makes at directly connecting the stories to one another.  Otherwise, each section is meant to stand on its own and represents a specific hardship of food addiction or obesity.  Since each story can function individually, it is easy to carry the book with you and read a section at a time.  In the foreword Schubart writes straight from his heart and explains his own struggle with eating habits and his weight.  He is charming, compassionate and first introduces himself as “a man of girth, overweight, fat… there I said it,” setting the scene for a brutally honest series of stories.

He is able to insert humor both in the foreword and in the stories without allowing that to saturate the fact that what he’s about to unfold is deeply sad. 

For the rest of the stories, though, he essentially removes himself and he resists any inclination you might expect from the author of a book like this to start giving dieting advice.  This makes the stories far more powerful, as the meanings and suffering in them are left to echo in your head.  He simply dedicates this book to “all those for whom food is a friend, an enemy, a compulsion, a joy.”

You should be warned, though, that despite how tender he is in writing, he makes no attempt to shield the reader from any of the hard-to-face truths.  Do not look to this book as a fast-track to comfort and inspiration. 

Eventually, this book can lead you there, but not in the way you may expect.  Instead of high-energy motivational speeches, Schubart examines the depths of a food addiction and all the infinite ways that it can become a part of a person’s life.  He does this solely though telling stories—and rarely steps out of the story to consciously instruct you.  He leaves the lessons up to you to reflect on and draw your own conclusions from.

I respect his approach to food addiction in this book because it mimics the way the addiction functions in the world.  Unlike other addictions, it can never be completely extracted from a person’s life or body, which makes the process of fighting it infinitely harder. It also makes it harder to identify the addiction because it is a necessary part of life.  It is far easier to notice that a drug is taking over your life, since it is not readily presented to you in café windows and served to you when you visit someone’s home. 

These stories are intricately intertwined with the story of a person’s life and Schubart focuses his attention there. Where other books would focus on the more regimented steps for getting help, this focuses on the stories of people who have suffered. 

The stories seemed disjointed at first—not because the ultimate connection isn’t obvious, but because Schubart writes beautiful prose that makes you deeply care about the characters and it is sad to see them not reappear in later chapters.  Once I accepted this, I was able to get into the rhythm of the book and liked how different the stories were. 

Some characters are presented upfront with their addiction and then Schubart takes you through the pain of living with it.  For example, one man’s story involves hiding his addiction from his wife and small child, who consistently worry about this health and try to monitor his eating habits.  Other characters’ stories begin with introductions that explain, and in many ways justifies, their resulting addictions, as Schubart leads you through histories of neglect and abuse.  One of his most compelling stories is a simple narration of the behaviors of an overweight woman he notices on a train.  His attention to her is so keen, only someone who has been in her shoes could truly capture the experience. 

He tells stories in both third person and first, of men and women, single and married, younger and older, but there is one common line: their suffering.  It is clear and poignant as a step on the road to recovery because it creates a safe environment for others to begin thinking about their own story.  In addition to this, it is a deserving piece of fiction and a heartbreaking collection anyone can connect with and learn a personal lesson from.

Fat People
By Bill Schubart
Magic Hill LLC: November 11, 2011
Paperback, 214 pages
$15

The whole idea of loving one’s body, however, is confusing. What does it even mean to love your body? One day, as I walked our dog around the block, it hit me. Loving our bodies is a lot like loving a dog:

1. Loving our bodies means placing respect, value and importance on physical needs for regular nourishment, fresh air, motion, and touch. Just as neglecting to value these needs is a complete rejection of a dog, it is also a complete rejection of our bodies.

2. Loving our bodies means investing time and energy into building a nonverbal, unique, and ever-evolving relationship. Like dogs, each of our bodies has its own particular needs and preferences that change over time, but does not have words to communicate those needs. As a result, figuring out what our bodies need takes ongoing relationship-building, with patience and attention.
3. Loving our bodies means recognizing that they live in the moment. This means that we have to be the ‘big’ brain for them – the ones who see the big picture and anticipate consequences of choices. Just as we would not let our dog eat two pounds of raw cookie dough, we sometimes must differentiate between our bodies’ momentary wants and its true needs, and may have to say no to some of our body’s desires.
4. Loving our bodies means exerting control through respect and cooperation. Neither dogs nor bodies just do what we tell them to. We need to have realistic expectations and then give them the support, consistency, and guidance to reach those expectations. When they do not ‘behave,’ it’s not that they are bad. It is that we haven’t properly supported them toward those behaviors, or that we have unrealistic expectations.
5. Loving our bodies means accepting that they are what they are. No matter how little a Great Dane eats, it will never be a Chihuahua. No matter how much exercise a Chihuahua gets, it will never be a Great Dane. We can either accept that our body is basically a certain shape and size, and become the healthiest of our ‘breed,’ or we can live in continual denial of reality and frustration with our bodies.
6. Loving our bodies means being patient with the time it takes to adjust to different routines and unfamiliar surroundings. Just as a dog is uneasy with change, so are our bodies – even if it’s a ‘good’ or fun change. During and after transitions, we must be supportive and gentle with our bodies.
7. Loving our bodies means accepting that all bodies, like all dogs, have physical impurities, imperfections, and messy parts. Our bodies are not perfect or pure. Basing our sense of self-worth on whether we are physically perfect or pure is as ridiculous as seeing our dog as bad for having an asymmetrical face, hip dysplasia, or bad breath in the morning. Similarly, trying to make our bodies pure or perfect through extremely restrictive diets or chronic use of plastic surgery is as misguided and potentially dangerous as it would be for a dog.
8. Loving our bodies means being trying our best not to use them as whipping posts for our anger about other things in our lives. Just as a bad day or feeling bad about ourselves may lead us to become annoyed with our dog (just for being a dog!), we also may focus our anger and frustration onto our bodies, blaming them for all that ails us. This is unfair and damaging.
9. Loving our bodies means getting back what we put in. Just as our dog repays us with loyalty and vitality when we care for its needs, our bodies reflect the care that we invest in them. The more we provide a balanced life for our bodies, the more balanced, calm, steady, and reliable our bodies will be for us.
10. Loving our bodies means doing what we can to care for them, while also recognizing that there are limits to our ability to protect them. Like a dog, our bodies get sick even when we try our best to take care of them. They also never live long enough, age in sudden jumps, and die before we are ready to let go.

Most of us were never taught anything about how to love our bodies. A lot of us are lost in a sea of media and social pressures to look a certain way and conflicting and unrealistic ‘expert’ advice about how to be healthy and disease-free. When you model and teach these basics of a healthy body relationship to your children, it can be an important part of helping them (and you!) to move toward sustainable health and wellbeing. And even if your teen rolls his or her eyes and continues to complain about fat thighs or narrow shoulders, or refuses to get off the couch and take a walk, be assured that you are doing what you can to embed the seeds of body respect into your child’s psyche, and that at some point those seeds will bloom.