Abuse Library

  • Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
    Michelle was terrorized for much of her childhood. Her father was an inconsistent presence and her mother expressed outright disdain for her. Often when Michelle went to her mother for comfort, she was accused of exaggerating or being a "crybaby" and sent away. Starting at age 4 until she was out of the house at 16, Michelle was molested by several family members -- including her brother, her uncle and a couple of cousins. As she grew up, different men in the neighborhood also sexually assaulted her. At 19, she began dating Carl, who initially was very affectionate. However, he then began to be suspicious of different friends of hers and concerned about how she spent her time. This escalated into more and more controlling behavior and occasionally he was physically violent.
  • Attachment-Focused EMDR: Healing Relational Trauma
    “Tapping resources” has a second meaning in EMDR therapy. In Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, you literally tap them in — maybe on your knees, maybe on your shoulders. The movement is sometimes called “installing ...
  • Girl in the Water: A True Story of Sibling Abuse
    Tales of sibling rivalry are common: Marcia and Jan Brady, Cain and Abel, Ray and Robert Barone. But how often do we hear stories of sibling abuse? The darkness and fear that is encapsulated in Nancy ...
  • Book Review: Full Circle
    Anyone who has seen a homeless person, who has wondered why welfare exists, who has struggled to understand why another person is acting the way they do should read Jane Hersey’s Full Circle. This is ...
  • Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families
    Charles L. Whitfield's 1987 book Healing the Child Within is aimed at adult children of dysfunctional families. The ideas he presented synced up ...
  • MANipulated into Fear: There is Always a Pattern
    If you are new to reading books about how manipulative and cruel men can be to the women they profess to love, the book MANipulated into Fear by Marvela Dawnay can be validating. Dawnay tells us ...
  • Betrayal & Hearing Voices
    Note: This story is based on what actually happened in one instance of psychotherapy. Names and ...
  • What Are Personal Boundaries? How Do I Get Some?
    Love can’t exist without boundaries, even with your children. It’s easy to understand external boundaries as your ...
  • Book Review: Do Over
    Carol Anne Leathers wrote Do Over as an autobiographical story turned fictional. Leathers puts her life into the character Reb, whose story focuses on overcoming childhood abuse and centers around the question, “What would life ...
  • Diary of a Stage Mother’s Daughter
    One of the quintessential “bad” mommy characters that many are familiar with is Joan Crawford, a.k.a. “Mommy Dearest.” Who can forget that terrifying scene from the movie with the wire hangers? Personally, I do not ...
  • Obesity, Genetics, Depression and Weight Loss
    There are a lot of different opinions and strong emotions when it comes to the topic of ...
  • Breaking the Cycle of Shame and Self-Destructive Behavior
    Shame is: “I am bad” vs. “I did something bad.” Shame involves an internalized feeling of being exposed and ...
  • Signs You Are Verbally Abused: Part II
    “Beware of rude and abusive people who love their mouths more than they love you.” ...
  • Signs You Are Verbally Abused: Part I
    Note: Issues of verbal control can exist in any relationship, heterosexual, gay or lesbian, male ...
  • Recovery from Codependency
    Codependency is often thought of as a relationship problem and considered by many to be a disease. In the past, it was applied to ...
  • Surviving Child Sexual Abuse
    What is child sexual abuse? Child sexual abuse is any sexual behavior directed toward a child by a person who has power over that child. Such behavior always involves a betrayal of the child’s trust. Some forms ...
  • Power Plays Between Brothers & Families
    This story shows how the troubled relationship between two brothers was a therapeutic opportunity to change maladaptive family patterns. Drew, 19, and Steve, 20, were close brothers raised in a volatile family. When Drew started getting into trouble in college, their mom arranged for the brothers to live together in an apartment, hoping that Steve could watch out for Drew. This solution backfired; the boys acted out family-related power plays. Physical confrontation escalated along with family-related conflict and hostility. At this point, the mom sought help. Mom and Dad’s Perspective Kate was an immigrant from Italy who, more than anything, wanted a better life for her children. She worked tirelessly to earn money for their education. Consistent with the old-school style of authoritarian parenting with which she was raised, Kate demanded devotion and obedience. She was very involved with her sons and, though caring, she was also high-strung, anxious and unrelenting when they didn’t perform - yelling, threatening and lecturing – reminding them of her very real sacrifice and suffering on their behalf. Drew perpetually disappointed and upset Kate. He failed to live up to her expectations and often lied to appease her. She worried about his ability to be independent, responsible, and protect himself. Steve, on the other hand, was seen as the ideal son: high-achieving, responsible, and aggressive. She constantly compared the two of them.
  • Healing from Childhood Abuse: Understanding the Effects, Taking Control to Recover
    During the 20th century, psychology was viewed as less than a science — mostly because it was difficult to gather hard evidence to back up theories about mental processes. In the modern age of neuroscience, ...
  • The Attachment Therapy Companion: Key Practices for Treating Children & Families
    In order for a traumatized child to heal, that child must be able to form a lasting, loving relationship with an older caregiver. Though this concept sounds intuitively valid, attachment therapy, a developing field based ...
  • Teens: Coping with Being Unwanted, Unloved and Unhappy
    Sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me. ~ Childhood rhyme Whoever made up that ...
  • My Journey to Loving Myself Following Sexual Abuse
    Historically any article with “self-love” in it has given rise to a ...
  • Red Flags of Love Fraud: 10 Signs You’re Dating a Sociopath
    Donna Andersen started LoveFraud.com after her former husband drained her of $227,000, cheated on her, fathered a child outside their marriage, and remarried 10 days after their divorce was finalized. The website, which was created ...
  • White Elephants
    As I cried, I wanted to believe it was the alcohol that induced Mom’s words.  I had to believe it was the alcohol.  I don’t want them.  The words rang in my ears.  That’s the ...
  • Problems of Codependents
    Everyone laughs when I tell them that I wrote Codependency for Dummies. But codependency is no laughing matter. It causes ...
  • Do You Love a Narcissist?
    It’s easy to fall in love with narcissists. Their charm, talent, success, beauty, and charisma cast a spell, ...

 

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