Abuse Library


F E A T U R E D    A R T I C L E

What Are Personal Boundaries? How Do I Get Some?

April 22nd, 2013
Love can’t exist without boundaries, even with your children. It’s easy to understand external boundaries as your bottom line. Think of rules and principles you live by when you say what you will or won’t do or ...

Book Review: Do Over

BOOK REVIEW.
Carol Anne Leathers wrote Do Over as an autobiographical story turned fictional. Leathers puts her life into the character Reb, whose story focuses on overcoming childhood abuse and centers around the question, “What would life be like if I could do it all again with the knowledge I have now?” While Leathers's book strives to ...

Diary of a Stage Mother’s Daughter

BOOK REVIEW.
One of the quintessential “bad” mommy characters that many are familiar with is Joan Crawford, a.k.a. “Mommy Dearest.” Who can forget that terrifying scene from the movie with the wire hangers? Personally, I do not keep a single wire hanger in my home because of the film -- I worry that the ghost of Joan ...

Obesity, Genetics, Depression and Weight Loss

Obesity, Genetics, Depression and Weight LossThere are a lot of different opinions and strong emotions when it comes to the topic of obesity and weight loss. This article is simply another opinion about obesity in America. By writing this article, I am ...

Breaking the Cycle of Shame and Self-Destructive Behavior

Breaking the Cycle of Shame and Self-Destructive BehaviorShame is: “I am bad” vs. “I did something bad.” Shame involves an internalized feeling of being exposed and humiliated. Shame is different from guilt. Shame is a feeling of badness about the self. Guilt is about behavior -- ...

Signs You Are Verbally Abused: Part II

Signs You Are Verbally Abused: Part II“Beware of rude and abusive people who love their mouths more than they love you.” ~ J. E. Brown You think you are being verbally abused by your partner. In fact, you suspect that you are ...

Signs You Are Verbally Abused: Part I

Signs You Are Verbally Abused: Part INote: Issues of verbal control can exist in any relationship, heterosexual, gay or lesbian, male towards a female partner or the other way around. Since more is known about verbal abuse in relationships where a ...

Recovery from Codependency

Recovery from CodependencyCodependency is often thought of as a relationship problem and considered by many to be a disease. In the past, it was applied to relationships with alcoholics and drug addicts. It is a relationship problem; however, the relationship that’s the problem is not with ...

Surviving Child Sexual Abuse

What is child sexual abuse? Child sexual abuse is any sexual behavior directed toward a child by a person who has power over that child. Such behavior always involves a betrayal of the child’s trust. Some forms of sexual abuse involve physical contact. These include masturbation, intercourse, fondling, oral sex, and anal or vaginal penetration with objects. ...

Power Plays Between Brothers & Families

Power Plays between Brothers and in FamiliesThis story shows how the troubled relationship between two brothers was a therapeutic opportunity to change maladaptive family patterns. Drew, 19, and Steve, 20, were close brothers raised in a volatile family. When Drew started getting into trouble in college, their mom arranged for the brothers to live together in an apartment, hoping that Steve could watch out for Drew. This solution backfired; the boys acted out family-related power plays. Physical confrontation escalated along with family-related conflict and hostility. At this point, the mom sought help. Mom and Dad’s Perspective Kate was an immigrant from Italy who, more than anything, wanted a better life for her children. She worked tirelessly to earn money for their education. Consistent with the old-school style of authoritarian parenting with which she was raised, Kate demanded devotion and obedience. She was very involved with her sons and, though caring, she was also high-strung, anxious and unrelenting when they didn’t perform - yelling, threatening and lecturing – reminding them of her very real sacrifice and suffering on their behalf. Drew perpetually disappointed and upset Kate. He failed to live up to her expectations and often lied to appease her. She worried about his ability to be independent, responsible, and protect himself. Steve, on the other hand, was seen as the ideal son: high-achieving, responsible, and aggressive. She constantly compared the two of them.

Healing from Childhood Abuse: Understanding the Effects, Taking Control to Recover

BOOK REVIEW.
During the 20th century, psychology was viewed as less than a science — mostly because it was difficult to gather hard evidence to back up theories about mental processes. In the modern age of neuroscience, this circumstance has only just begun to change as new technologies offer ever-widening windows into the workings of the brain, ...

The Attachment Therapy Companion: Key Practices for Treating Children & Families

BOOK REVIEW.
In order for a traumatized child to heal, that child must be able to form a lasting, loving relationship with an older caregiver. Though this concept sounds intuitively valid, attachment therapy, a developing field based on the idea that the most fundamental need of a deeply emotionally-damaged child is a caring and reciprocal relationship with ...

Teens: Coping with Being Unwanted, Unloved and Unhappy

Teens: Coping with Being Unwanted, Unloved and UnhappySticks and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me. ~ Childhood rhyme Whoever made up that rhyme is just plain wrong. Consider these comments from letters to Psych Central’s "Ask the Therapist" column: “My folks just tell ...