Can Masturbation Help Me Learn to Orgasm?

By Michael Ashworth, Ph.D.

I am an 18-year-old college student who is sexually active, and has just become interested in masturbating. I feel that if I am going to be having sex, I should become more familiar with my body. However, the few times that I have masturbated I have not really become aroused and I have yet to have an orgasm. I was wondering if there was any way I could go about becoming more familiar with myself and learning how to make myself aroused.

I agree with you that it is very important for women to become comfortable and familiar with their bodies if they want to enjoy sex by themselves or with a partner. Unfortunately, women are frequently discouraged from exploring their own bodies and thus aren’t even sure what kinds of stimulation they like. This is one of the major reasons why so many women complain that they never have orgasms with a partner. You must learn what you like before you can show or teach your partner.

The first thing I would recommend is that you simply relax and explore. Don’t make getting aroused or having an orgasm a goal. At first, all you want to do is learn more about your body. After that, you can move onto trying different types of stimulation on different areas to see what feels good, but even then, simply enjoy the sensations, whether or not they lead to orgasm.

Another thing I would suggest is to try and explore using a mirror and a flashlight. Women can’t see their genitals as easily as men, so a flashlight and mirror can be a great help.

I would also recommend that you purchase a copy of the excellent book “Sex for One” by Betty Dodson, or “For Yourself” by Lonnie Barbach. Both have wonderful suggestions on learning more about your own body and what turns you on.

 

APA Reference
Ashworth, M. (2007). Can Masturbation Help Me Learn to Orgasm?. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 28, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/lib/can-masturbation-help-me-learn-to-orgasm/0001045
Scientifically Reviewed
    Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 30 Jan 2013
    Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.

 

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