Getting to Commitment: Overcoming the 8 Greatest Obstacles to Lasting Connection (And Finding the Courage to Love)

From Amazon.com: Do your relationships always crash? Do your married friends wonder what’s wrong? “They write sitcoms about people like us,” says “commitment-phobia” expert Steven Carter, “but it looks a lot more fun on the small screen than it feels in real life.” The problem may be your fear of the risks of intimacy and commitment. Carter himself was a closet “commitment-phobic” when he wrote Men Who Can’t Love. Now, in Getting to Commitment, he explains how to break those patterns and forge intimate connections — as he has done in his own life.

Carter sees eight hurdles between you and the relationship you deserve. He deftly analyzes each problem, points out self-destructive nonsolutions, and explains the steps necessary to break the barrier. For example, one hurdle is blaming your partners’ shortcomings for the failure of previous relationships. Breaking the pattern involves seeing how you choose particular partners and self-destruct in relationships–going from blame to responsibility. Other hurdles include relationship-history ghosts, living in fantasy, and ineffective behavior patterns. “If we are to experience intimacy, our hearts have to be brave as well as loving,” says Carter. Getting to Commitment will help you find that courage.

Softcover, 256 pages.

Psych Central's Recommendation: Worth Your Time! +++

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Dr. John Grohol is the founder & CEO of Psych Central. He is an author, researcher and expert in mental health online, and has been writing about online behavior, mental health and psychology issues -- as well as the intersection of technology and human behavior -- since 1992. Dr. Grohol sits on the editorial board of the journal Cyberpsychology, Behavior and Social Networking and is a founding board member and treasurer of the Society for Participatory Medicine.

    Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 30 Jan 2013
    Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.