Feeling that you have some say in your own life seems to be good for you — both emotionally and physically. People who don’t believe that they have any control over their lives develop a sense of passivity and helplessness — and this sense has been linked to poor health in the same way that feeling loved and hopeful have been linked to better health.
If you have any doubt about just where your attitude stands, see whether you have the characteristics of what some people call “the survivor personality.” According to Bernie Siegel, M.D., at the March 1998 Casa Colina Whole Health Forum, survivors:
- Find meaning in their work, daily activities, and personal relationships.
- Express anger appropriately.
- Ask for help. Survivors know that they can’t control everything. They can express their needs to friends, family, and health professionals — and complain when their needs aren’t met.
- Say no to nonpriorities.
- Make time for play.
- Learn from their pain and depression — and then get on with living.
- Choose healthy behaviors that meet their own needs — not someone else’s ideas about what’s good for them.
- Don’t let outside duties keep them from meeting their basic needs. Survivors remember that they are precious people first, and mothers, employees, or otherwise upstanding citizens second.
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 21 May 2007
