Abusers don’t wear signs that say, “I’m an abuser.” They can be doctors, lawyers, judges, nurses, policemen, clergymen, mechanics, janitors or the unemployed. They could be white, black, Asian, Hispanic or Native American. They may have had five previous spouses, or may never have been married.

However, research shows that abusers are likely to have some common characteristics. In general, abusers:

• Are less educated than the abused partner.
• Come from a lower socioeconomic group than the abused partner.
• Need great amounts of attention.
• Are possessive, jealous and controlling of their partner.
• Fear being abandoned by the partner.
• Are emotionally dependent on the partner.
• Have low self-esteem.
• Have rigid expectations of the relationship.
• Have poor impulse control and low frustration tolerance.
• Are prone to explosive rage.
• Use children to exert power over partner.
• Blame their partners for their own abusive behavior.
• Lie to keep the victim psychologically off-balance.
• Manipulate the victim and others to get on their good side.
• If a man is abusing a woman, he often has very traditional beliefs about the roles of men and women.

What's Related

• What Causes Domestic Violence?
• Who Are the Victims of Domestic Violence?
• Taking Action with Domestic Violence
• Symptoms of Domestic Violence
• Telephone, Hotlines and Help lines
• Domestic Violence Organizations and Resources
• Domestic Violence Doesn’t Discriminate
• Understanding the Effects of Domestic Violence
• The Physical and Emotional Injuries of Domestic Violence
• What Is Domestic Violence?
• Other articles by Toby D. Goldsmith, MD

 

Last reviewed:
  On October 19, 2006
  By John M. Grohol, Psy.D.