Sometimes adults minimize the depth or complexity of emotions that children of various ages can experience, especially when it comes to the loss of a loved one. Grief is just as real for a child who is experiencing a loss as it is for the adult. Adults should keep that in mind, and not seek to minimize the loss, or otherwise discount the child’s reaction and emotions.

Myth 1. Children Don’t Grieve

1. Children grieve all losses in spurts, several times a day
2. They re-grieve throughout all developmental stages
3. Children don’t know they’re grieving or understand their feelings

Myth 2. Children Experience Few Losses

1. Children experiences losses on a daily basis:
   At School: Sports, Grades, Competitions, Self Esteem, Relationships
   At Home : Control, understanding, dysfunctional family losses
2. 1 of 7 loses a parent to death before age 10

Myth 3. Childhood is the Happiest Time of One’s Life

1. A child will go through 6 developmental stages between birth and age 21
2. Each stage is marked by a period of continuous change in cognition, feelings, and physical development
3. Almost every area of life through each developmental stage is totally controlled by circumstances outside of the influence of the child

Remember, loss teaches an important part of life — with all life comes death. You cannot shelter your child from harm, and you cannot shelter your child from loss, as much as you may life. Instead, look upon the experience as a time to teach an important lesson about life and death.

What's Related

• Living with Grief: Before and After the Death
• Six Myths About Stress
• The Top 10 Myths Behind Masturbation
• Children and Grief
• The 15 Myths about Pet Loss
• Making the Best of a Bad Situation
• Explaining the Loss of a Pet to a Child
• How Men Grieve
• The Truth about Grief and Loss
• Guilt: The Crippling Emotion
• Other articles by Tom Gray

 

Last reviewed:
  On November 4, 2006
  By John M. Grohol, Psy.D.