3. Practice being an optimist.
Resilient people believe that life is essentially good. They are masters at finding the silver lining in even the darkest cloud. A resilient person is someone who finds a positive way to understand even the most difficult obstacle or hurt. At the very least, dealing with a painful event can help make us stronger. Suffering can help us better understand fellow sufferers. A set-back may in fact make the way for something better to happen. Does this seem like a stretch? So fake it. Fake it often enough and convincingly enough and you may even become more optimistic.4. Develop your sense of humor.
Resilient people can appreciate the absurd in difficult situations. When all else fails, they can even laugh at their own inability to laugh. We laugh with Tevye in Fiddler on the Roof (who suffered one tragedy after another) not because he is a fool, but because he can always find irony, and humor, in his lot.5. Give other people some slack.
Resilient people know that no one is perfect. They know that they aren’t perfect either. They understand that people aren’t their best selves when stressed, or hurt, or overwhelmed. Their reaction when someone upsets them is more often curiosity than anger. Before cutting someone off or out, they want to know the facts. They want to understand how they contributed to the misunderstanding. And they want to work with the other person to make things right again.6. Embrace change.
Finally, resilient people aren’t upset by change. In fact, they often thrive on it. To them change equals opportunity. Making it in life often means getting out of our own comfort zone. Life does us the great favor of giving us loads of opportunities to do just that – like it or not. Those who embrace change when it happens and invite it when it doesn’t are more likely to succeed.
Most of the skills may seem obvious to you. Because they’re obvious doesn’t mean that they are easy or that you’re stuck with your current level of proficiency. Like anything else, practice makes if not perfect, at least better. With a little thought and some effort, you can build and strengthen your resilience repertoire so that it becomes an increasingly reliable part of you. The additional self-confidence that results is invaluable as you launch yourself into the risky business called life.
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 28 Jun 2006
