Once you have completed all the steps toward getting your profile on match.com, what happens next? The first month or so on Match is definitely the most interesting because everyone is new and exciting. This is what you should know as you begin.
Setting up Your Searches
There are a few ways to search through the profiles posted on the site:
1. Match Words – this is a keyword type of search. If skiing is your thing and you want to meet other skiers, you can search on the word ‘ski’ and find everyone who lists that as a keyword. I find this search method faulty. I once searched on the word ‘bike’ and no one came up. The system suggested I use ‘cycling’ instead. It’s too hard to guess what keyword will really get you what you want. Also, unless you edit the keywords within your profile, Match will generate them automatically based upon your profile. You can end up with some weird stuff that way.
2. Keyword – almost the same as Match Words. This one didn’t find the word ‘bike’ either. I find it hard to believe no one has used that word in his profile.
3. Age, Location and Custom Searches – this is the way to go. You can narrow down prospects with the following options:
- Are you a man or woman?
- Are you looking for a man or woman?
- How many miles from your zip code would you like to search?
- Do you want to see only profiles with photos?
- Do you want to see only people who are online now?
4. You can further narrow down your searches. This is useful if you are searching only for a tall, non-smoking liberal who has a cat and exercises a lot (three people come up under this specific of a search—they are apparently the three perfect men for me). These are the categories you can use for that type of search:
- Relationship status
- Body type
- Horoscope Sign
There a couple other search options, but these are the main ones.
I’ve Searched and Gotten the Results – Now What?
Look through the profiles your search has delivered! Some you will dismiss immediately, some you will find interesting. Get on the interesting ones by either winking or emailing.
Winking versus Emailing
It can be tricky deciding which option to go with. If you can come up with something good to say, emailing is usually the better choice. I like to send short emails with a question somewhere in them. If you ask a question, the person you are emailing has something to say to you in a response. If you wink at someone, he/she will have to think of what to say to you in response. Not that it should be hard to come up with something, it’s just easier to answer a question. I wink if I am feeling lazy or find someone interesting, but can’t come up with an entertaining email.
Hopefully you will hear back from the person you have contacted. If not, you can make yourself feel better by assuming the person does not have a paid subscription. Match allows you to set up a profile without paying a subscription fee. This route sounds good, but doesn’t allow you to email the people you receive messages from. If someone ignores your email, tell yourself that they just didn’t pay. Or they’re stupid. Or both.
The Other Way Around: What to do if You Get Responses from People you Don’t Like
Ignore it! The first and most important unwritten rule of the Match system is that no one uses the ‘no thanks’ option. It’s considered rude. If you receive a wink or email from someone who does not interest you, ignore it. This is what everyone does and it’s expected. It’s also expected that if you are in an email exchange you don’t want to continue, you stop writing. This happens all the time.
Goldstein, S. (2006). My Profile is on Match.com: What Do I Do Now?. Psych Central. Retrieved on June 19, 2013, from http://psychcentral.com/lib/2006/my-profile-on-matchcom-what-do-i-do-now/
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 30 Jan 2013
Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.