Tips about dessert:
- Never, ever, make dessert an incentive for eating the meal. If you serve it, dessert is just part of supper. You don’t want to ingrain the idea that eating sweet stuff is a reward for putting up with healthy food. This can backfire in a big way later.
- Only serve dessert now and then so it’s a special treat and you are not tempted to use it as a bribe. Help your children learn to enjoy the main dish.
One family I know has “upside down meals” every now and then. They serve dessert first as a way to be collectively naughty. Everyone giggles at being allowed to have chocolate cake before the casserole. Since they keep dessert portions small, the kids usually do manage to get their protein and veggies too.
- Make a meal center around a special treat. Strawberry shortcake, for example, can be a great lunch as can fruit salad with a little cheese and bread.
- Don’t let your ego get involved with whether the kids like what you serve. It’s inevitable that they will turn up their noses at something you’ve taken all day to prepare if it’s something they haven’t seen before. Make unusual and fancy things because it’s fun for you, not because it’s a testament of your love for your family. Otherwise, if they don’t like it, it will feel to them and to you like they’ve let you down. Confusion between loving Mom and loving the food is not healthy and leads to adults who connect overeating with love.
If you are worried that you have already blown it, please remember that it’s never too late to start. With young children, all you have to do is make a change. With older kids, say age 8 and up, talk about why you are going to do things differently and ask for their help in changing family eating patterns. Don’t underestimate them. Kids often understand better than adults why they need to respect their bodies. And they haven’t had as many years of bad eating habits as the rest of us.
In summary, to develop healthy eating habits:
- Remember that the point of dinnertime is the time, not the dinner. This is an important time for family to be together and to enjoy each other.
- Remember that the most important thing you can do for your children is to help them listen to their own bodies’ signals about hunger and fullness.
- Don’t connect favorite foods to love, praise, or approval. This leads to major problems later in life.
- Do involve kids with food preparation from the time they are very young.
- Do help your children be adventurous about foods.
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 10 Dec 2006
