Best of Our Blogs

Best of Our Blogs: July 22, 2016

"Nothing has ever come easy for me, and I think that's a really good thing." - Zooey Deschanel
With my birthday coming up in a few days, I'm mentally running through the same list of what I've done, have yet to do and acceptance for the things I will never do. There are things that are particularly hard like getting to a place of forgiveness or accepting that certain things and people will never change. Yet, there's peace in floating in the river of what is instead of fighting against the current.

Every decade pushes me forward. It shapes and molds me into who I'm supposed to become. The process isn't painless, but it's necessary for the evolution of my soul.

At every milestone and hidden within every moment is a chance for growth. If you listen carefully, you will hear it ask, "Do you see me? Will you forgive me? Will you love me?"

Those that keep themselves busy won't hear it or if they do, they purposely bury it under things, people, and drama.

Will you take this post as a sign to change? Will you read our top blogs this week on relationships, plagiarism and inter-generational trauma and see it as an invitation to start paying attention? What will you do?
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Anxiety and Panic

Dear Friends: Why My Anxiety Ruined Our Relationships


It's not for the reasons you think.

Dear Ex-Friends,

You might have remembered the first time we met. More than likely we instantaneously clicked and thought we would become BFFs. We probably called each other almost every other day and planned out life events together. We probably really loved to be in each other's company because we were just "so much alike," and I couldn't speak highly enough of you.

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Brain and Behavior

Possibility: More Powerful than Depression

When you are depressed, your mind sees no possibilities. You feel stuck, with no change in sight.

Depression is brilliant. It is an amazing example of “we are what we think.”

When we are depressed, our thoughts consist of things like “nothing will help,” “it’s useless,” and “I can’t do it.” These thoughts get even stronger when well-meaning people give suggestions on how to stop being depressed. Of course, these ever-so-helpful suggestions come right after we have gone on and on about how hard our life is. Right?
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Happiness

Video: Materialism and Happiness

Apple's iPhone 7 is coming out this year, and it's going to be the greatest iPhone yet. Maybe the greatest smartphone yet. It's going to complete your life.
At least until the iPhone 8 comes out. That's really going to be the greatest iPhone yet.
Buying stuff is fun because the coolest phone or shirt or toaster or whatever always seems to be the one we don't have. Once I buy this snazzy new gadget or item of clothing or household appliance, then I'll be happy!
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General

When You Confuse Excessive Productivity or Busyness with Success

Today, we try not to “waste” any time. When we’re waiting in line, we check email on our phones and maybe compose a few replies. When we have 10 minutes to ourselves, we try to cross off a task. When we’re at work or at home, we’re multi-tasking. We’re cooking and listening to productivity podcasts. We’re eating and texting. We’re taking work calls on our commute. We’re working on the weekends.

When there’s any “white space” in our schedule, we try to fill it with something else -- anything but introspection, said Cori Dixon-Fyle, LCSW, a psychotherapist in Chicago, Ill., who works with individuals struggling with over-productivity.
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Addiction

Understanding PTSD and its Effects on Marriage

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a mental health condition that occurs following a life-threatening event such as military combat, natural disasters, terrorist incidents, serious accidents, or physical or sexual assault. Approximately eight percent of all people will experience PTSD at some point in their life. That number rises to about 30 percent for combat veterans.

Those suffering with PTSD may experience several different types of symptoms:

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General

How Introverts Deal with Stressful Situations

Introverts often have a hard time adapting in different areas of their lives because they face stressors that extroverts don't. It is hard to deal with people's perception of you when they do not understand your way of dealing with stress. Your tendency to introspect gives you a greater understanding of things, but it also makes you extremely critical of yourself.

These hurdles reinforce the belief that all introverts are shy, awkward, and hate interacting with other people, which is an absolute misconception. Introverts do thrive on solitude, but that doesn't stop them from being successful individuals. In fact, many successful and well-known people, such as Bill Gates, Meryl Streep, J.K. Rowling, and Barack Obama, are introverts.

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Brain and Behavior

Does Posting Selfies Make You a Narcissist?

I've previously written how posting selfies is not a disorder (no, sorry, selfitis doesn't exist). Others have even suggested that posting selfies is simple a sign of healthy self-expression.

But last year, a few studies were published that linked taking selfies and posting them to a social network like Facebook to certain narcissistic traits. And this led some to believe that if you post a lot of selfies, you must be a narcissist.

However, the answer to the question of why people post selfies -- what motivates us to post selfies? -- is more complicated and nuanced -- as it usually is.

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Brain and Behavior

Never Feel Like a Loser Again with the Right Locus of Control

How you did on a test, how well you stick to your diet and how accurately you execute a new recipe is seen differently depending on your locus of control.

Who is to blame if you failed the test? Who should be rewarded when you lose weight on your diet? The way you view the control you have over your life will determine whether you have an internal or external locus of control.

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ADHD and ADD

Adult ADHD: 5 Tips for Managing Technology So It Doesn’t Manage You

Technology for ADHD can be both a blessing and a curse. On the one hand, it helps adults with ADHD stay productive. After all, you can use technology to remind yourself of important appointments, meetings and deadlines. You can use technology to keep track of your tasks and help you structure your day.

On the other hand, technology can be incredibly distracting. ADHD coach and therapist Eric Tivers, LCSW, finds it to be a big challenge for his clients, who often don’t realize that it’s actually making things harder for them. They don’t “realize that every time they shift their attention, they’re killing their productivity and depleting finite resources of
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