by Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S.
Today, we’re joining the APA in honoring Mental Health Month. One of the aims of Mental Health Month is to bring awareness to the importance of taking care of your physical, mental and emotional health and well-being.
Stress touches everyone. It’s a tangible part of our days. But it doesn’t have to dismantle our lives. The key is to cope with stress effectively. And, thankfully, this is something each of us can learn. Once you find practices that resonate with you, you can tuck them into your personal wellness toolbox for use at any time.
Below, Kathryn Tristan, author of the book Why Worry? Stop Coping and Start Living, shared her tips for alleviating stress and enhancing your well-being. You’ll also find a simple test at the bottom to help you quickly assess your stress level.
by Gretchen Rubin
Most of us want to get along well with other people. One way to do this is to help people feel good about themselves.
If you make a person feel smart and insightful, that person will more likely enjoy your company. The point is not to be manipulative, but to help other people feel good about their contributions to a conversation.
So here are some suggestions to make that happen.
by Lauren Suval
A few weeks ago, as I was sitting with some friends over dinner, there were multiple times when a lot of “shoulds” circulated through the conversation. “He should have picked you up for the date,” or “he shouldn’t act like that.”
I myself was guilty as charged, “should-ing” here and there as well. And then, when I actually pondered the meaning of what we were suggesting, the blinker in my mind flashed red, and I tried to bring myself back into check.
That wasn’t the first time that I’ve had difficulty with just letting people be.
by Brandi-Ann Uyemura, M.A.
When things are going well, the rocks and pebbles that traverse your path seem like temporary and tolerable roadblocks. But throw in a sleepless night, conflict with a loved one and an illness, and any minor issue as tiny as a grain of sand can feel as painful as a shard of glass.
On days like these, it’s best not to exacerbate the situation. If possible, finding ways to baby yourself the way you would a sick child will soothe the parts of you that feels wounded. Rest, support, compassion can all help to heal what ails you in this moment. Make it a priority to take care of yourself and you’ll be better able to meet any future challenges that come your way.
This week you may still be recovering from Mother’s Day. Scroll down below to read how you can heal not just from growing up with an emotionally unavailable mother, but from a difficult past. There’s also tips on how to be comfortable with being yourself and ways to give back to a deserving mom in your life. This mix of healing posts should help you through any rough day you’re having right now.
by YourTango Experts
This guest article from YourTango was written by Dr. Susan Heitler.
Connecting via Facebook, emails, texting, tweets and instant messages can be convenient. Technology can offer fast ways to ask your husband to pick up lettuce at the grocery store on the way home or to let your wife know that you’ll be home later than usual.
But according to new findings, this convenience may come at the cost of closeness in your relationship.
That’s because reserchers from Oxford University have found couples who keep in touch too much via technology tend to have less satisfying marriages.
How could this be?
by Lisa A. Miles
Yoga used to be way too slow for me. Actually, it was more like I was way too fast for yoga.
Back in the early ’90s, yoga hadn’t really hit my city yet. Oh, sure, some choice women friends were in the know and tried to get me to partake. But I was moving too fast at the time. (No, I don’t mean drugs.) But I was on a high, newly having found a self I could connect to after a childhood being the “dutiful daughter:” that of a loving but anxious mother.
I was flitting around playing in bands, finding my voice, finally — here as a violinist who had been raised on classical only. Of punk rock spirit and artistic mindset, I could barely slow enough to even learn of other ways of feeling fulfilled and satisfied and at peace at the time. It was a great time for me. I needed to go at the speed I was going, for I finally had found my peace and joy.
by Therese J. Borchard
Some sobering statistics: Depression has a much greater impact on marital life than rheumatoid arthritis or cardiac disease. Ninety percent of marriages where one person is bipolar ends in divorce. Persons diagnosed with bipolar disorder have three times the rate of divorce as the general public, which is about 50 percent.
This is all to communicate this message: marriages in which one person suffers from depression or bipolar disorder can be extremely fragile.
I know, because I’m in one.
Here are six tips that have helped us and other couples I know defy the statistics.
by Rohith Sebastian
I grew up with high anxiety, and at times wondered if my tendency to brood and overthink could be fueling my anxiety and stress. After several years of researching ways to cope with anxiety, I was convinced that an excessive tendency toward “inward attention” could indeed be the primary reason for my anxiety.
By diverting your attention away from your thoughts and focusing your visual attention on the world outside, you will be able to overcome your negative thoughts and emotions. The idea is cutting-edge and still in its initial stages; it’s best not to take it as qualified medical advice.
However, the technique is simple enough for anyone to try out and does not have any potential for obvious adverse effects.
by Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S.
“[B]eing regularly creative correlates with being a better you, a happier mother, a lighter self with an easier laugh,” writes creativity coach Miranda Hersey in her excellent e-book The Creative Mother’s Guide: Six Practices for the Early Years. (You can read a sample page here.)
But, not surprisingly, expressing your creativity, whether through penning poetry, painting or opening up an Etsy shop, can be incredibly challenging during the early years of motherhood. Your days fly by, a blur of feedings, fatigue, mood fluctuations, swelling to-do lists and profound love for your little one.
In The Creative Mother’s Guide, Hersey, who has five kids herself, shares a variety of valuable tips and other mothers’ stories on living a creative life when your kids are young.
by Lisa A. Miles
A favorite caption I saw a couple years ago with regard to workforce restlessness was “Distracted? Hit the Reset Button.”
We all know the familiar frustration with computers and other devices that decide they just can’t work anymore in the moment. We’re probably all familiar too with the required routine to update their operating systems in order to bring them back to even keel, starting point, place of rest.
It is the same with people.
We find ourselves with “restlessness syndrome,” the inability to write another word or figure another computation in our workplaces. That’s not to say distraction doesn’t rear its periodic unattractive head when we are attending to a project at home. Often, what is behind it is simply our modern lack of deep focus on any one thing at any one time, in an age of expected, mega multi-tasking.
by Lauren Suval
These days, social media may serve as a double-edged sword. On the one hand, the social networking world brings you a variety of information. That certainly can aid in the progression of learning about someone, whether it’s links to articles they might enjoy reading or general musings about life’s happenings, I sometimes peruse profiles to garner more knowledge about a guy I may be interested in.
Yet, isn’t there also something to be said for not wanting to know it all right away?
Is social media eliminating elements of intrigue and mystery? And what if we see particular photos, status updates, tweets, or blog posts that negatively affect our view of the individual? Are we judging their online activity too quickly?
by Drew Coster
I have some friends who have heard a rumor their company will be making big redundancies soon, and I really feel for them. One thing that’s guaranteed to cause instability in a person — and any organization — is the rumor of redundancy.
For many, the security of having a job is essential for their well-being. If you know anything about Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, safety and employment are in the second level, just above breathing — so it’s pretty important.
If you are facing the threat of redundancy then I imagine you’re going through many different emotions right now, but there are some things you can do to help you deal with these rumors more easily.