Daniel Lukasik, creator of the site Lawyers With Depression asked me awhile ago to write a guest post on work and depression. You can click here to read the original post.
Just when I think our world has moved a baby step in the right direction regarding our understanding of mental illness, I get another blow that tells me otherwise. For example, awhile back I quoted an intelligent woman who wrote an article in a popular women’s magazine about dating a bipolar guy when she was bipolar herself. She recently discovered that she had jeopardized a job prospect because the article came up — as well as all those who referenced it, like Beyond Blue — when you Googled her name. So she requested everyone who picked up that article to go back and change her real name to a pseudonym.
Because talking about bipolar disorder in the workplace is pretty much like singing about AIDS at the office a hundred years ago or maybe championing civil rights in the 60s.
I totally get why this woman created a pseudonym.
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While not exactly the same thing, I will share an experience with what it is like to have a boss ask you what is wrong with you. I was driving my boss somewhere off hours and I had not really thought about it, as it was my car and I was “off the clock” but I had pushed my sleeves up, which showed a multitude of scars. (I self-injure and I have depression.) My boss asked me about it and asked what was wrong with me. I told her that was personal and left it at that. But my boss insisted, saying we would talk about it later. I called HR explained the situation more fully including the part about depression but as the scars were old, I felt they were irrelevant and since we were off the clock I felt that was very bold of my boss) HR informed me of my rights as an employee which was I did not have to tell my boss anything. And they offered to talk to her for me. I declined that offer and never brought the issue back up. But I was passed up for a promotion that I would have been perfect for, had more experience for, had better results for, and I have to wonder if it was not because of that one instance. But instead of dwelling on it, I continue to work for the same company, continue to work on my skills as an employee and work on myself as an individual in therapy. It works for me, but telling my immediate boss was not for me, letting HR know what the situation was worked better.
I don’t tell my bosses that I suffer from rheumatoid arthritis because it doesn’t effect my job performance. If your psychiatric illness is going to effect the way you perform on the job or is going to result in A LOT of missed work days then I think your employer needs to know. I also don’t think it’s fair to the other employees who bust their behinds and show up to work everyday. If I suddenly had a flare up of symptoms I wouldn’t expect special treatment…if your employer has policies that limit the number of absences you are allowed to have that should go for everyone…healthy, cancer, heart disease or schizophrenia and if you are going to miss a lot of work days then I think taking a leave of absence would be a good solution for everyone.
I did not tell my supervisor until I had an episode of breakthrough depression that was making me function less efficiently. My supervisor is kind and enlightened. We shifted some work around to ease things until I improved. I try to do the responsible thing in making it known if I’m having a bad week so that adjustments can be made and deadlines do not get missed. Otherwise, it’s business as usual (which is most of the time), with full expectation that I will continue to grow in my career.
I am very lucky. I would not tell everyone at my office, but in my case, I think it is helpful that my supervisor is aware.
I don’t think I would tell. Not everyone is as open-minded when it comes to mental illness or physical illness to that matter. Ever see the movie Philadelphia with Tom Hanks and Denzel Washington? Tom Hanks’ character had AIDS and didn’t tell the law firm that employed him…long story short his employer found out he had AIDS and they didn’t fire him directly for that but they made him look inept so they could fire him…anyway I know it’s a movie but things like this happen in real life too.
There is another issue – being self-employed and living with depression. Running a seasonal business can be very taxing emotionally and there have been many, many times when I have just wanted to explain to customers that “I’m just not feeling very well lately” to explain, perhaps, some inconsistences in my service. But I don’t tell people. I did once in a round about way to a few customers who I felt I had let down the most – I no longer work for them. Take from it what you will, but I have never told another customer – even the ones I have worked with for 16 years.
I am very careful of who I reveal my illness to. But I shouldn’t have to be careful – none of us should have to be careful about the judgement that falls upon us. It angers me that I can’t comfortably tell people what I have survived – and what miracle it has been that I have survived. Looking at it from a different perspective though, mental illness is so complex and it affects us differently – it affects our personalities and behaviour and that is what freaks people out. With a physical disease the brain doesn’t go all funky and people remain pretty much who they are. Well, that’s my take on it anyway.
I used to use a pseudonym, but I have learned to feel safer on the Coming Out Crazy blog so now I use my first name – but that is all you get.
Andrew is my real first name, but that’s all you get. lol. Interesting topic you right about, for I am unemployed at the moment and am working with an Employment Counselor. We have discussed the disclosure part about telling future employers of my condition. Right now I have conditional disclosure, meaning that there’s some places that I think might be ok to tell, others that I wouldn’t be comfortable in telling. I’ve recently been debating whether to disclose more since I seem to be limiting my Employment Counselor’s ability to find me a job. The pros and cons are exeactly what I struggle with, that it’d be nice in this day and age of acceptance to be free to disclose medical/mental conditions to employers. I feel guilty hiding that info, but it seems that employers only care about results and not the employees. People still believe in old misconceptions from 20+ years ago even though there has been many advances in MI treatment. And the media is also to blame by covering the sensational instances of the mentally ill going off meds and hurting/killing/breaking the law when in fact most of us lead reclusive lives and would rather harm ourselves rather than others. If I had the energy, I’d disclose the MI info to employers, try to educate them about us, and try to clarify the misconceptions. But, I want meaningful employment and feel that as most people think that we can “just snap out of it,” I think that most “normal” people “won’t and never will get it” and unless they can experience MI firsthand, I’m rather pessimistic they will change their minds. So, for the time being until the world accepts “We’re crazy, get used to it!” Than I’ll weigh employers with the pros and cons and judge whether to tell them or not based on my perceptions on how trustworthy they are to hire me and treat me as a valuable employee with a mental illness and without out using MI as an excuse to fire/deny promotions/treat me differently than others. By the way, I have schizoaffective depressive-type and I go by Andrew on the secure site http://www.mentalearth.com If you have the courage, tell the world that “I’m crazy, deal with it!” lol.
I’m out at work about my PTSD and depression. I was completely open about it with everyone at my last job as well. There are two main reasons I’m open about it. I need time off mid day once a month to see my psychiatrist, and with that regularity of medical appointments I need to tell my boss something. I also believe talking about it, just like it’s any other illness reduces stigma. I refuse to hide or be ashamed of my condition. I manage it through meds and therapy and it doesn’t affect my ability to do the job.
The one thing I do not discuss at all at work is my alcoholism. I might once I have more sober time, but I’m new in sobriety and still struggling. I believe there’s more stigma attached to addiction, particularly for women, than there is for mental illness, and I’m not ready to risk my career. I work flex time taking two half days off a week, to attend addictions treatment. I negotiated this when I started work. My boss thinks it’s for treatment related to my depression. I’m trying to keep it that way.
I also had to go through the experience of explaining a gap on my resume, as I was fired from my last job due to excessive absenteeism over drinking. But they were fair and gave me a generous package. I spent time in rehab and in a psych hospital getting my depression meds stabilized. I was off work for a full year before I was ready to job hunt. Explaining that year off and why I left my last employer was tough. If I said I left for medical reasons (The officially negotiated reason with my previous employer) I NEVER got called back for a second interview. When I switched to say I took time off for a personal sabbatical, to pursue other areas of interest, I did. So when job hunting there’s no way I’d disclose.
I work for a mental health trust so you would expect them to be open minded but I have still chosen not to reveal my illness. I am highly valued, seen as one of their hardest and most reliable workers and have only taken two days off sick in three years which was not bipolar related. Although they are mental health practitioners, I do think that revealing my illness would change their perception of me. Whilst vulnerable with concern over my teenage daughter, it did come into conversation with the consultant I work for, I trust him implicitly and he has not treated me any differently since being aware of my illness. I think if he felt I was showing signs of being unwell, he would broach the subject purely out of concern for me. If my behaviour started to impact on the office, maybe he would alert other staff. I appreciate I am lucky that I respond well to meds and am able to “put on a good face” whilst at work even if I have sobbed all the way there and sob all the way home. If my diagnosis were to become common knowledge, I fear that any change in mood (because everyone has good and bad days) would be perceived as part of my illness rather than a reaction to the strains and stresses of everyday life.
I work at a university hospital in the psychiatry department. My boss is board certified and a psychoanalyst. A couple of years ago I was switching medications for my major depression. I told my boss that I was doing a medication switch, but did not think it would affect my job. It was a good thing I told her, because when the medication switch did not go well and I became totally manic, she knew what was going on.
Unfortunately, her reaction was to offer to fire me since I couldn’t control myself. We spent several weeks in HR before she got demoted and I got a new boss. I also got my meds fixed. Of course word has spread about what happened and I worried about what others would think. Happily, everyone else has been supportive. Good thing. There are over 800 people in this department.
I suffer from chronic dysphoria and am currently controlled with therapy and meds (thank goodness). I haven’t told my employers, as it hasn’t been an issue at work, but the support that I get at work and the self-esteem that I get at work help me deal with the pressures that I have. I don’t think that my job would be in jeprody if I told, but I think that in my case it would be too much information.
Hi,
I’ve just told two of my co-workers about having depression and ADHD because I was tired of having what I think was gossip in regards to having to take a month off in February. This time it’s two weeks as a result of changing medication.
When I told them, one said that she suspected the ADHD a loooong time ago because she lives with two, one adult and one child with the same difficulty. Of course the other co-worker found out from the first, and instead of not knowing what else was possibly being said about me, I came clean and now everyone seems to on the same page at the same time. One told me that she now can make more efforts to be patient with me, and they were very supportive when I told them.
What happened that morning was that, while I didn’t know that my doctor was going to order two weeks off work, I got the nerve to pick up a sponsorship sheet for my local walk for mental health weekend and everyone was pleased to sponsor me for the cause. When I came back from my doctor’s appt and told them about my own depression and ADHD, I couldn’t help but to think God had set up the whole sequence of events so that it would come out more peacefully and graciously.
I guess with the right attitude things can work out and putting my best step forward regardless of the outcome was the right step. Now my boss does know about the ADHD diagnosis as it slipped out onto an official medical form that my doctor was not aware should not have included it, I guess I’ll have to begin speaking to him frankly about the situation too so that I make him aware that it is OK if he talks to me about my condition and work accommodation and that it’s OK to check on any heresay that may come from other sources.
I guess all in all if everyone knows the truth, it is then their responsability to act in an adult manner towards it. If they choose not to, I have no control over that but to let them know that I am open if they wish to discuss it or if they have any questions that would help us work together.
Here’s to optimism… what other choice do we have?
Candor about my depression cost me my job. I had an episode of breakthrough/episodic depression after the decline and death of a parent. When I felt myself starting to backslide, my MD recommended a short leave. Once HR and the administration knew about my health issue, things were never the same. While I was on leave, they restructured my job in a way that substantially increased demands, but not compensation. The timing was not only cruel, but suspect. My attorney agreed and we filed a complaint. The workplace I was once devoted to became toxic and I left shortly after. Based on this experience, I will never be frank about my mental health again. The stigma runs deep. In an instant, people I respected lost confidence in my abilities and judgment because of a diagnosis. When there was discrimination, I fought it, but in the end I was the one out of job.
I think it definitely depends on the boss. My bosses have all been really supportive, but I don’t know if that’s common or not. http://manicdepressivetalk.com/news/bipolar-disorder-should-it-be-kept-secret
I lost a contract due to casually disclosing my bipolar disorder. Suddenly, the grant money “ran out.” I have moved on without bitterness, but I am quite disappointed. I am a direct person and discussing mental illness is no different from any other subject in my mind. I have no shame about having bipolor and I think talking about mental illnesses will help people realize how many people around them have an issue and can function well, as the great majority do. So, I have filed this as lesson learned and will, unfortunately, hold my tongue in future where my career is concerned.
My employer will not even let me off to go to a Dr’s appt. I also have breast cancer & she thinks the appt is to be rechecked for problems with the cancer, but says I have to cover that day since a girl is going on maternity leave. My new boss has harassed so much that I have gone into major depressive episode(crying on the job, sleeping 16 hrs a day when off, starting to drink alot, etc). i was off for 2 years in 2002-2004 due to bipolar. it was so severe that I got disability immediately. I feel that I am now at the end again & pray to never wake up. I moved up to a mgmt position with my company of 6 years in October. My new boss has no idea of my bipolar or she would really harass me. She already belittles me in every way possible. What do I do?
Tina,
I think you need to find a new job.
I told my boss today in fact that I am suffering PTSD due to the fact that I was late by two hours as a result of my extremely messed up sleeping patterns.
I also thought it best to tell her as I ve just started new meds and have been feeling a bit off.
She reacted well and said she is glad I told her and if I have any issues I can speak to her.
I am lucky.
But Tina, who cares about having a management position when you are treated like this. My last employers used to make almost everyone of us cry at work!! it was hell. Get out! go do something enjoyable. work as a florist. chill out and money will not be so necessary over your health.
It does depend in the boss and some companies cannot afford downtime and some discriminate and some bosses/companies accept you with open arms.
For some people who suffer from mental ill-health that have, for whatever reason, not had a start in life yet or qualification then they should be given a helping hand to gain employment with people who can accommodate times of illness.
Heres a new flash. for you to be covered under the ADA, you need to tell the employer BEFORE there is a problem. But the simple facts are is the the ADA is a joke for those with metal illness. For many reasons. But the fact is that they do not want to deal with it, so they lie to get rid of you. Or you will be secluded, and not advnaced. Thanks to the media and entertanmant industy. We have a BAD rap.
Even the government as given us a hard time. They will allow insureance Cos to screw us in coverage offered. And even medicare screwed us for years. Still do. They pay much less on an out patent psyc bill then other illnesses. And they have gotten by with it.
I was looking into a part time job once at a drug store. developing photos in the lab. (back when they till had film) and the manger was all over my case, checking up on me, and all that. It got so bad, that I just quit. I was embarrassed.
As far as telling parents. My father is dead, and he never offered any support at all. And my mother never really talks about it. Never ask me how I am. Well, maybe twice in the past 20 years I have been in treatment. Never ask me if I have my meds or anything. My family in general never says a thing. My grandmother was much better then they were. But still not what was needed. I have no real support structure. I talk to a few friends VIA email, but nothing local. Just my Dr once a month for my med checks.
Sorry, I got on a rant.
I think that you should tell the boss. So, with what little help that we get for the government will at lease be there. Plus there are other organazatiosn that can help.
I wish that I had a better answer. I am sorry.
What if u dont tell and there is a problem, however slight. Or they ‘know’ because it’s such a small town? BUT, if there’s a problem, and u dont get advanced r they dont trust u r if ur ridiculed and they LIE? Oh! We had no idea she had …… we just know her job performance was lacking. R worse: ur fired for something they would otherwise overlook.?
I’m in position now where a friend of mine “slipped” & told my boss about my condition because I was literally minutes away from a huge panic attack(not making public scene, but clearly looked distressed.) So, I had to do damage control this past weekend & personally inform the other members of the management team. Of course, they all were like “oh, I completely understand. Thank you for telling me & if you feel you’re on the verge, just come & get me. We’ll take care of it together.” They know I’m prescribed Valium for anxiety; but since my job is very fast-paced & physical I DO NOT take it while at work. This is where the problem comes in: how do I deal with overly strtessful situations at work without losing my cool & wihtout my medication?? Parents said I just screwed myself cause now any work-related mistake I make will be their way of getting me outta there. I’m going to cover my ass by having psychatrist & therapist BOTH submit written letters stating full extent of condition, my current treatment plan & the progress I’ve made thus far. This will legally protect me if they try to fire me over any minor work-related thing: which, by the way I’m doing wonderfully in the job performance area, including showing up consistently on time & have not made any mistakes as of yet. Just had a tough past weekend & nearly suffered 2 anxiety attacks, 2 nights in a row. Since management all knows now…could swear feel them watching me from across the room, just waiting for “mental meltdown!” I’ve become an expert at keeping anxiety attack symptoms within; so, folks who are unaware just think I’m stressed out like any normal person, but those in the know…know exactly what’s happenning. My diagnoses is Borderline Personality Disorder in conjunction with ADHD, Major Deppressive Disorder, General Anxiety Disorder, Insomnia & Migraines…good times
Needless to say, take about 5 or 6 different medications daily & ONLY take ADHD & antidepressant in the mornings. Don’t take ANY of my benzos until after I get off. I can function just fine on them; do it as a preventative measure in case of an injury at work. ER will drug test you as soon as you arrive & even though legally prescribed Valium; would not be covered by Worker’s Compensation because was under its influence at time of injury. I agree: we are a special breed of the human race & deal with issues with such enormity that the general populace could & probably never be able to fully understand.
Thanks for this article. I’m struggling with this right now and am scouring the Internet for ideas, pros/cons, etc. I’m newly diagnosed at the age of 40 and have dealt with this alone the majority of my life (30 years). I’m in a career with law enforcement. Stress is sky high and very little down time. My job had clearly been affected by this. My family is unsupportive and I’m quite isolated.
If I get put on meds, I will have to tell my boss. In this field, it is not going to go well at all. There’s not even a question of that. I’m truly at a loss as to what to do, other than hold off until I absolutely can’t go any longer without telling my superiors and deal with it then. I work best when flying by the seat of my pants anyway, but this is a tad more serious than just a ‘whatever’ situation. There are so many pros/cons for disclosure or not, all very valid points.