If you do, congratulations! You’re likely better at conflict resolution with your partner than couples who don’t refer to themselves as “we.” How do we know? Well, conversations …
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Well – I have rhis problem as regards the merits of couples referring to themselves as ‘we’.
To the extent that they are addressing the non-domestic sphere a couples’ ‘we’ is an insurance against either of the couples’s naivity etc.
But – when the couple is in a mixed company of professional or social tatherings a spouse referring to himself or herself as ‘we’ causes a degree of inhibition in the minds of the person addressed and puts him/her off a further conversation with the one of them in particular,
Hence – the inappropriateness of ‘we’ for the couples as in general. It better be me and [so and so the name first]/my wife or husband and that in a causual manner.
Before I got married, my mentor told me that from now on rather than referring to myself as “I,” I am now to refer to myself as “we.” Often times somebody will ask me how long I’ve been living in my neighborhood, my answer is, “We’ve been living here for about two years now.” The next question is usually, “who’s the ‘we?’” When I say, “Me and my wife” there is usually a look of mild embarrassment on the questioner’s face for having had to ask in the first place.
My only regret about this article is that it is the people who would benefit from it the most who will most likely be the last to read it.