While more details of the Tiger Woods scandal continuing to emerge, the inevitable question arises — Why would such a successful, attractive man cheat on his wife and family? …
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I think you reasons for cheating may apply to a single extra-martial partner. But not to the alleged 10+ that have now surfaced in the Tiger Woods scenario. In this case you are ignoring the ties between sex and power for many men. It sounds like the relationships were largely sex based and had very little to no emotional component on Tiger’s part (I mean how many deep relationships can one man have with multiple sex partners). I think the question here is not why do men cheat, but why would one man need/crave as many as 10 sex partners at the same time?
From what these mistresses are saying about their experiences with Tiger Woods, the likelihood is very high that he is a sex addict.
Many serial cheaters use sex addiction as an excuse for their marital misbehavior but in Tiger’s case, it may really be true. At least that would explain his behavior.
Of course there are plenty of other reasons why sports stars, politicians, celebrities and other rich and famous men cheat.
For more info, see the articles below.
New Details About Tiger Woods Secret Love Life Reveal He May Be Addicted to Sex at http://bit.ly/7dgCIz
14 Reasons Why Tiger Woods and Other Rich and Famous Men Cheat at http://bit.ly/6HofEx
Which of these reasons do you think apply to Tiger?
Regardless if you want to look at this Biblically or scientifically, cheating comes about from a poor relationship prior to the infidelity. This could be linked to emotional distress, lack of sexual compatibility, domestic abuse (all types, not just physical), and general neglect that comes with a stale relationship. There are a host of triggers that could cause one person to become adulterous. It is never the fault of one person – it is both.
This does not mean what he did was not wrong but his behaviors are a reaction to something else and I have a feeling it will come down to domestic abuse and/or a sex addiction.
What is truly saddening is how the media laps up his situation like a kitten at the milk bowl – granting no regard to him. Yes, he is a public figure in the world of sports, but he is still human. He is not known for being a political or religious head, he was not hired by the people of the United States… he’s just an athlete who is in quite a pickle right now – marking his story on other websites as “entertainment news” is somewhat sickening.. it is neither entertainment or news, at least by my definition.
His Dad turned him into a robot. He was never normal, or well-adjusted. It was just a veneer because he was taught not to overreact to anything.
He’s trying to be human and connect to people but he doesn’t know how.
The analysis here of Tiger specifically is interesting. The overall remedy for couples — increased communication — is less so.
The issue I’ve seen with many couples in crisis is not that they’re not communicating. They’re communicating plenty! They understand each other. The problem is that what is being communicated is unacceptable to one partner, the other, or to both, and compromise means a destruction of core psychological values to one, the other, or both.
Tiger cheated because he could.
An economist might say that the opportunity cost (i.e. sex with eager lingerie models)of remaining faithful is higher for Tiger than for most people.
Even Albert Einstein cheated on his wife. Sex in so many ways is more about power than the actual act itself. People that find themselves in positions of power develop and egotism that is fed by these sexual conquests. This is a machine that feeds upon itself and may ultimately corrupt any individual unless that person is able to recognize it and deal with it. This seems to especially strike people who have grown up spoiled with person power or people have grown in extreme cases of feeling powerless.
Why would such a successful, attractive man cheat?
Because he’s successful, attractive and a man.
Don’t over think this one.
I think narcissism and selfishness factor into this…not necessarily an excuse of evolutionary development. Where is the proof of the evolution connection? There is none. It is all theory, all supposition. Why do we base “facts” on a long-shot theory? When looking for a temporary partner, a solution to one’s marital difficulties, why aren’t other solutions(ie. rather than infidelity)attempted in honor of the marital relationship? From a myriad of examples in media and personal contact, counseling, etc. are usually not tried first.
I do think there is something to church attendance and belief in accountability to a Supreme Being. Obviously this doesn’t work for all, but it has been shown to work for the many… I would not be surprised if the increase in infidelity has tracked with the decrease in church attendance and believing in accountability to a Supreme Being(God).
I don’t think his behavior has anything to do with his marriage or its communication. As a person looking from the outside, and having had a relationship with someone I later found out was in many ways like Tiger, I’d guess this has everything to do with HIM and nothing to do with his wife or relationship.
from my view, it doesn’t seem like conventional infidelity (the article) applies to this situation. Sex addiction is only about the person with the illness and has nothing to do with the partner. If he is a sex addict, and of course none of us know for sure but it sure seems familar, no matter what his wife says and does, he would still be cheating as much as he could. I don’t believe that article applies to those who are sexually addicted.
If he is addicted, she could act like a porn star in the bedroom and give him sex 10 times a day and he would still cheat. And she could be the most wonderful, loving, supportive spouse..and he would still cheat.
I wish the best for both of them-I hope he gets help, and he can certainly afford the best medical care, but I feel so much for her pain and wish Elin all the strength and peace in the world.
This must be incredibly painful for her.I don’t think she should stand by him in any case-trying to help your sexually addicted partner is the worst and is a long drawn out and painful process and in addition to the cheating, the person is deceptive and dishonest and will betray you over and over and over.
If by virtue you take your wedding vows seriously to support your spouse in illness, one would..but in doing so it might destroy her own well being and even harm the children. I don’t think self sacrifice in that manner is healthy or virtuous either.
I don’t know about this research.
No one mentions this reason for cheating, the core of the problem in many cases.
And that is insecurity, the need of confirmation.
I’m sure that if you would have an interview with Tiger, make a psychological profile you would probably find some kind of issue with himself.
You can ask yourself if men aren’t really the weaker sex cause they seem to need it more.
If you are a healthy man, with a good life and loving wife, no issues that play inside than their is no reason to cheat.
Those so called powerful men that do it always come like little insecure boys if you talk to them long enough.
And I say all this because I was a cheater too, when I lost my wife finally I wanted to get to the core of my problem and found it was a deep seeded sence of unworthy, and it is logical.
If you are not completely sure about yourself and someone offers that, if only for 10 minutes you will take it.
If you are you won’t.
I had to completely rebuild myself and found myself and now when someone offers themselves to me it just seems like a really stupid thing to do.
Cheating in hotel rooms, washing your penis in a sink, hiding your phone from your wife doesn’t seem like the thing to do for a secure man in control of his life, now does it?
I’ve decided to conduct my own analysis of Tiger Woods based on the framework of my recent book, The Search for Fulfillment, in which I analyzed data from over 180 midlife adults studied from college through their late 50s. You might be interested in this analysis, which is on the Psych Today Blog: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201002/tiger-woods-the-downward-slope
Please send in your comments!
Or maybe some people just aren’t monogamously wired. Most people when they get married and swear fidelity are too young and inexperienced to understand what they’re promising. Sometimes both partners later realize it, can have an open discussion, and have an open/poly relationship, but sometimes that doesn’t happen and one partner is stuck being monogamous without wanting to be and feeling like a sexual hostage in the relationship.
How on “earth” is it right or okay to say: “You can’t sleep with anyone else, but I’m only available to meet your sexual needs when *I* want to meet them.”
It’s not a fun place to be.
The other partner of course “must” automatically get what THEY want, monogamy, cause being open/poly would just stomp all over their personhood. Forget about the needs and desires of the person who can and does either love more than one person at a time, or just needs significant partner variety for sex.
I think the person who suggested sexual addiction is off base. Why is a high sex drive, higher than the baseline, somehow considered a disorder? To be a true ADDICT of anything then ALL you think about is the addiction and trying to feed it. You cannot be a successful golfer AND a sex addict. He wouldn’t be able to practice or play golf. He’d be too consumed with where he was planting his flag next to be able to get a straight shot on the green. I mean come on.
I also get tired of hearing about the moral failing and evil of cheaters. Yes, cheating is wrong, but so is ALL dishonesty. Why does it become such a big deal when it is about sex or someone’s personal feelings? Last time I checked my body and brain belong to me, thanks. This “ownership” model of relationships is getting tired and people need to learn and understand that many people are not wired this way, but the social contract insists that they follow it if they are to have any type of meaningful relationship at all.
Jealousy and possessiveness are personality flaws, not positive character traits. Modern monogamy is built upon the concepts of jealousy and possessiveness and the idea that if you cannot care about someone if you are sleeping with another.
Try to understand most people aren’t monsters and are taking the best choice they know in a situation where their wants and needs aren’t considered serious, honorable, or worthy of consideration.
Tiger Woods= classic somatic narcissist with all the toppins.
Perhaps the real question here should be (it was totally ignored): why did tiger’s wife commit such extreme domestic violence, with IMPUNITY?
Reverse the roles and “Dr.” Grohol would have ONLY concentrated on the domestic violence issues, including, “There’s NO Excuse for Abuse!”
Shoe on other foot – “Dr.” Grohol’s article would have been titled something like, “Why is Tiger so violent?”
I do believe communication is a great solution… that and mutual cooperation. Openness to one another is important in marriage.