45 Comments to
10 Types of Female Friends

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  1. I totally agree with this. It is so true!

  2. This is very interesting and informative. I also look forward to the one for the guys however, you should also do them for male/female and female/male. These are the more difficult to deal with because of the added dynamics of gender differences and sexual attractions between friends.

  3. 10 Types of guy friends:

    The Schlep: You work with this guy and he looks like the “PC” from the “Mac and PC” adds on TV. You are totally grossed out by his oily hair and he always smells like cheese, but he has a wicked mad crush on you so you use his wonder geek computer powers to help you at work. He has told his room mate (also known as MOM) all about you.

    The Jock: This is the megga athlete, always bragging about some marathon or football game he has played over the weekend or is training for. He is totally emotionally unavailable and boarders on having a God complex. His over the top and blatant sexual advances are such a desperate beacon screaming “I like you but lack social skill enough to tell you” that his big dumb advances are silly. Not to mention his but looks good in jeans on casual Friday. The Jock has a wicked mad crush on you but who would want to house train him, and who would you talk to?

    The Stud: Closely related to the Jock however his shtick is to brag about how many girlfriends he has been with. Secretly he surfs porn on Friday nights and has not had a date in three years! The Stud has a wicked mad crush on you but stay away from him, two of his ex’s have restraining orders.

    Capitan America: This is who the Jock and the Stud try to emulate. He is perfect. So sexy, and smells so good, your guts burn hot when you get to pass him in the hallway. Handsome, successful, smart, works out, volunteers at the homeless shelter on Thanksgiving, and married. Happily. To a former Victoria Secret Model. They have four children, the first two they adopted, and the last two are twins. She teaches your Turbo Kick class, and early breaks a sweat, that bi**h.

    Louie: Louie is a married man who lives near you, and is always nice to you. He doesn’t go out of his way, but is respectful in a dirty joke neighborly kind of way. He has a wicked mad crush on you, but would never act on it.

    Stan: Stan wears glasses and a sweater in the summer. It always seems painful for him to talk to you because women frighten him. Stan is harmless, but he has a wicked mad crush on you.

    Tom: Tom is an Ex boyfriend who hasn’t got a clue. You don’t really date anymore but sometimes late at night, you call or he does and you hang out. It is not going anywhere, not entirely great for your diet but it is comfortable and safe. Tom has a wicked mad crush on you, but will break your heart if you expect more than Doritos, beer and cheap sex.

    Andrew: Andrew is a hot mess. He dates one of your friends. She is not a close friend, but close enough that you think twice about his aggressive advances on you at parties. Andrew does not have crush on you, you have a crush on him, and he can smell it. He only wants to sleep with you which will make your relationship with your friend really messed up. Stay away from Andrew, he has an STD.

    Antonio: Antonio is your yoga instructor. His tights are perfectly formed to his perfectly formed ass. You love to look at his arms bulging and vein. Don’t get a crush on Antonio. Antonio is gay and has a crush on Captain America.

    Steve: Steve is the man you will marry. You bump into him in the strangest place. You get drunk at the office party in disgust of listening to the Schlep, The Jock and the Stud all showing up with dates, as you go stag and Steve is there invited by Captain America because he coaches Caps kids in soccer. Steve helps to get you away from the party before anyone notices it was you who puked in the pool. He gets you home, cleans you up and leaves a glass of water on the night stand. Steve is the guy you fall completely in love with out of the blue.
    Where the hell is Steve…

  4. This is the biggest piece of retarded crap article I’ve ever read.

  5. I think it’s a great article so pay no attention to Emily. I think she would probably fit in best with the Frenemy and she needed to vent and blame you lol. But really I loved it because it really is true. I have had like 8 out of ten types of those friends and thats only the ones I can think of right off hand.

  6. The kind of friend that is most valued by I, is the one that earnestly have the knack, for looking deep within and realizing that I, have what they desire, without expecting it.
    The most important value in this matter, is FAITH, for people are not always what they appear to be and others will misinterpret the essence of that being, if they’re looking only at apperance.
    My soulmate, will stand in the mist of a storm and not be weary, walk and not faint. My soulmate, will ask and not take. My soulmate, will love and allow I to love them back.
    My soulmate, will, ALWAYS respect the fact that my voice is to be heard as well as understand that their voice is to be silenced to hear my voice.
    I understanding of being a soulmate, is glorious, in that I expect no more than I’m willing to give and that is understood by my soulmate.

  7. I read this article with interest and wonder why anyone would surround themselves with people that are not authentic. The people I call friends are the ones that I can talk to about anything, and can all at anytime of the day or night knowing they will be there. My friends would walk to the ends of the earth for me, give me their last piece of bread and their last penny. I would lay my life down for any of them. They are the ONLY people I call friends. Anyone else is either a colleauge or an acquaintance.

  8. My friends are not sitting in pigeonholes waiting for me to need some special kind of “support” from this one or that one. I discover them at odd times, in odd places and, by finding something that we have in common, like hobbies, health issues, her (or my) need for a friend, similar taste in (of all things) movies, similar family problems and a miriad of other tiny gems that cause people to be drawn to each other. One thing that appeals to me is a similar level of intelligence — does that sound snooty — sorry.
    One of my best and dearest friends is one who has the guts (and love) to tell me when I am on the wrong track with anger or resentment toward someone or holding a grudge. Life’s too short to bother with these unimportant and unfulfilling emotions. She is very valuable in my life. Another is a friend whose husband and my husband have formed a bond. This type of couples’ relationships are rare. Of course we’re in our 60s & 70s so there isn’t any danger of becoming “too close”. I have lots of really good friends and it has taken most of my 72 years to find that magic circle.

  9. Right on Steve..
    thats funny

  10. The truth of the matter is that we all have friends like whether we want to admit it or not…..let’s not hate the players hate the game!!! Lol and if we must hate then get rid of them! Delete, delete, delete….them out if ur life!

  11. Btw, the article left out number 11- The Psycho Friends- we all know what I’m talking about!

  12. Yeah! Where the hell is Steve hiding????

  13. Mac! Youre not the MAC or PC guy are u? Just kidding….r u?

  14. You can DEFINATELY tell this article was written by a woman as she can totally relate to ALL these types of “friends”. Isn’t there a #12-“The Wannabees”? We’ve all met her, haven’t we?

  15. Nice article! Yes, I suppose ‘psycho friend’ was left out, but then, if someone is psycho, they could turn up in any of the catagories without notice. Scarey!
    I also loved Steve’s ’10 Guy Friends’ bit, and yes…where the hell IS Steve???? Dude, we are All looking for you! :-)

  16. Steve, you have an enlightened outlook on the male types. You should write your very own book…very useful information for young women.

  17. Joanna is right on track, wisdom and reality in one. Thanks for your life experience and not acting like you are worth every drop of blood your friends can give you. That belongs to …

    … Kalamity (Jane): You are a tad disullusioned and likely not a parent. There may come a day when you may have to be more flexible and open to your friends’ flaws. I certainly would only starve or give all my means or die for my children. A friend is not a complete martyr, or Jesus. Of course we give all we are capable of giving, but completely losing sight of ourselves is not a friend. Friendship is a give-and-take.

    “My friends would walk to the ends of the earth for me, give me their last piece of bread and their last penny. I would lay my life down for any of them. They are the ONLY people I call friends.”

    Good luck with holding on to that thought for a lifetime. When you are 72 like Joanna, I think you will be more realistic.

  18. This article was good and really interesting.
    Maybe Emily is talking about what Steve was saying…its really a crap.

  19. “My soulmate, will, ALWAYS respect the fact that my voice is to be heard as well as understand that their voice is to be silenced to hear my voice.”
    Sounds more like a “sole” mate!;-)
    I always thought relationships were supposed to be mutual, as in “we” not “I”
    This article is thoughtfully dysfunctional for a world where most folks are looking for a support network that has “value”. The kind of greedy value that has left a nasty stink in what used to be a lovely garden…

  20. stevie, seems like he has issues. we were talking about characteristics in frienship, but it seems like it want to move a little more than we like or care to understand.

  21. Emily sounds really angry…like she doesn’t have any friends. I have friends in 7 out of 10 of those catagories…and love something about all of them. You can shop with some; do museums with others; and double-date with still different friends. When I need a break from my husband, my girlfriends are just the ticket…life would be bleak without them.

  22. Buddy,
    There are indeed many types of friends to bee seen in relationships.
    However, I am simply exercising my right to opine that perhaps keeping “The User”, “The Frienemy”, and a few others I didn’t see mentioned that I am sure everyone has differing titles they could place on people over the years, I find it better ease these people out of my life.
    My comment about “me” and “I” was a partially in jest. However, I hope that when friends converse, one is not expected to turn stone silent, but rather listen fully (and actually hear), and with a compassionate heart.

  23. BTW,
    I called myself Steve because I am the guy who brings you home after you throw up, cleans you up without groping you, makes sure you have a barf pot tucked into the mattress so you can “make it to the bathroom”, because face it, you are not making it.
    I will not hit you because you are drunk, and I will make sure your house is locked properly when I leave…
    And I’ll leave my number so you can let me know you are okay the next day. I’d call but, nothing like getting awakened with a hangover. 😉

  24. I laughed so hard reading Steve’s list of friends!!
    I, for one,prefer men as friends!!! Can’t wait for the Article with the dynamics a of Female/Male friendships.
    Steve, any luck writing that one????????
    I have had every type of female friend except Authentic. I prefer not to have callous, gossiping, mean, vindictive friends around me.
    At least with men-tell them what you think straight up–they respect that!!! Women tend to look for the underlying meaning–even if there is none!! I say things the way I feel–If you don’t like it–OH WELL–IT’S MY OPINION!!!

  25. I do agree with the 10 types of friends but some types overlap, and I believe there are a few types you’ve left out. One type, which has been left out, is what I call, “The Queen.” She selects friends with whom she has something in common with but because of her own very poor self-esteem, she focuses in on her friends’ shortcomings. Because of her myopic focus on these shortcomings, she sees herself as being “above” or “better-than” most of her friends in her “court.” She is genuine, in offering advice, help, and support and there is plenty of it she wants to give. Her support, advice, and help, when taken, make her feel like she’s doing something to help her friends get out of their “subordinate” position (in her eyes.)
    This type of friend can definitely be toxic, especially if you don’t see the relationship for what it really is.

  26. After reading some of the replies to this article, I am truly saddened at the amount of cynicism, which exists amongst those who were insightful enough to read this article.
    Folks, nobody can describe the perfect Psychological description, of anyone, for any purpose. Take something positive away from the article, and leave the critiquing and opining for the movie critics.

  27. Steve’s list was way better than the original story line (10 female friends), not to mention funny and “right on” WHERE indeed, is Steve?

  28. This is very insightful. I can see some of these traits in one of my friends. It has helped me determine the content of this friendship I need to allow. Thanks friends I receive toxic friends I can let go of especially frienemy

  29. The friends we need around ourselfs are the one’s that will be with us when we are sick,helps us with our problems, and is there when ever we need them. And is willing to help us truthfully.

  30. You know, at different times in our lives, as friends, we are all probably one of each of these types of “friends”-and in any given time without even knowing it, we can be pockets of “yuck” or pockets of “wow” to various people. We just each have to strive to do the the best we can at any given time with what we have to work with and hope we are helping more than..well, you know..

  31. Thanks to my “Not Steve” [that i did marry] I have “no friends”(says NS) and have found out I have to find away to “do it all by myself”. I know those friends who tolorate my “Not Steve” spouse will be there and supportive in their own way.I have found out I had to be my own friend first to be a friend and accept friendship from others.

  32. Steve, man, you’re right on!!!!! I’ve been with most of the men you have mentioned and finally met my “Steve” (except his name is Scott!). Thanks for being so candid about the different sorts of men out there…………you should write a book for single girls!!!! Or better yet publish a daily column……..!

  33. Interesting article. I think there can be a blend of some of those archetypes too. Such as being the Mirror friend and also the Leader, etc.

  34. Steve, the first comment made to your post by emily, I have one thing to say to her! Anyone who uses the R word so freely is in need of some help herself!! As far as what you posted, I’ve never read anything so funny and true at the same time!! You’re a very witty dude… Oh, and by the way, are you married??

  35. Wow, I must admit that I wish that I was insightful enough to have written this article.

    I feel grateful to be a happily married man with meaningful relationships with many women. I enjoy the depth of engaged relationships without the tension, pretension or cattiness that my friends have in some of their other relationships.


  36. I like Steve’s article. Great sense of humor. I’m going to tell my friends about that one.

  37. Hey guys. Steve here. (The real Steve) Thanks for all the input on the list I wrote. I will point out that the list is the only other post I have on this page, and I don’t know who else posted as “Steve.” If you like my stuff, please check out roninsherpa.wordpress dot com.

  38. I just read most of these comments. Mrs. Clayton what is with the extra commas? Try that first sentence as follows. The kind of friend that is valued most by me is the kind that has the knack for looking deep within and realizing that I have what they desire without expecting it.(It would really be clearer if you made two sentences out of this much information.) Don’t be discouraged. I know you can improve. Is English your native language? I won’t bother you with the other corrections needed to make your comment worthy of consideration.
    Donna, check the spelling of definitely because comments from people who can’t spell are not taken very seriously, either. Just type it into the search and you’ll find the correct spelling for almost any word.
    Illiterate friend, is that another type? There’s also one more type – the boyfriend thief.
    You don’t see her coming until it’s too late.

  39. I think this is BS. All women have some of these qualities, and though at times, certain ones become more prominent than others, they shouldn’t define or bind us in the ways you suggest. Oversimplification in such a way, I believe, ultimately removes the humanity from the way we perceive our friends.

  40. To Steve – that was hilarious!!! loved it!!!

  41. i like this. it is good to see the different typs of friends we sadal our selves with. My self i dont know which one i am but not offten i get the frinedamy or user. but i think that this will inprove girl world. It would not be so toxcice if we know what we where dealing with. thanks fred

  42. I only have three friends.

  43. Wow, I can definitely see myself in some of those
    “types” and also see people in different stages of
    my life playing those roles. I encountered the first “user” when I was 10 years old, and my best
    friend my mother told me: “Child if you go thru
    life counting with the fingers of one hand your
    true friends, you will be lucky indeed”. I always,
    had my mother! And now I have three true friends,
    and many friendly peers or social aquientances.

  44. Wow both of these are so right. I’m not too old and
    I have already had all of these friends. Not all the guys but definetely all of the girls. I have six really close good friends and we are a mixture of about six of the types.We argue about stuff
    but we eventually get over it and move on. I know who my Steve is and he knows I am his Kaci, but we dont act on it, we keep it innocent. Thats what makes him Maurice(real name). Oh and whoever said that about the boyfriend thief,I think it was TruthandWisdom, you are right beacause one of my six close friends is THE ULTIMATE boyfriend thief.
    Well she tried. JK But you know who you are and you know its true.I still love her though.
    By the way TruthandWisdom get over yourself, you are either an english teacher or you have a stick up your A**.

  45. Oh my God this post is stupid. Soooooooo stupid.


    ’10 types of female friends’. I should have stopped reading, I knew that it would take a peice of my life I was never going to get back. But I went ahead and read it anyway. My bad.

    …so stupid…

  46. Loved this article!! Steve, you are highly entertaing, no matter what anyone says! I look forward to reading more of your comumns!
    BTW, I met my own “Steve” about a year ago, and we just got engaged!! So psyched!!

  47. How can i know if my girlfriend is not dating another guy?



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