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Couples You Meet in Counseling: Mr. Perfect and His Crazy Wife

“What is her problem all the damn time? Why can’t she just chill out? We don’t have problems, she has problems. I have to get back to work.”

The man who comes into counseling with this sort of mindset we will call Mr. Perfect. This high-achieving specimen of masculinity is usually in some field requiring an excess of education or on-the-job training. He is successful in his career and receives a lot of positive feedback.

Not just competent at work, he can also take the kids for an afternoon on his own because he is calm, cool and collected in all situations, even those involving toddlers and poop. His friends consider him a good guy. He is attractive and well-spoken. In an emergency, he is the person you want around. What a guy, right? (Don’t swoon just yet.)

3 Comments to
Couples You Meet in Counseling: Mr. Perfect and His Crazy Wife

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  1. And then, sometimes, the man actually is near perfect and the wife is a cold-hearted batcrap crazy narcissist that psychologically, mentally, physically, and financially abuses her husband, manipulating him to the point where he can’t even afford a divorce after all the debt she put on him. Now, of course, I wouldn’t be speaking from first-hand experience, right? I wish…

  2. Sorry. I don’t buy it. YOU picked her. Is that truly “nearly perfect” behavior? I watched a friend determinedly waltz right past enough red flags to put a bull fight to shame. She seemed determined to see only what she wanted to see (or project, perhaps?) in this guy. Well, fast-forward 7 years, her divorce was just finalized. Takes TWO to tango, my dear. :-/

  3. This sounds like my wife and I. Problem is – I’m willing to open up and be a bit more vulnerable. However, she created such a toxic environment over the years that I can’t talk about anything without the fear of being lashed back at. We’re in marital therapy now and she was told she needs to create a “safe environment” so that I can open up. Being bitter and angry for the rest of her life is what’s going to destroy this marriage.

    Explore some “family of origin” therapy, get to the root of your issue(s) – and don’t make your spouse pay the price for your childhood issues. I know I have more than my fair share of childhood trauma – but I can’t talk about that sorta stuff if I’m going to get dismissed or told to “deal with it”.


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