“To me, connecting is saying, ‘I see you. I love you just the way you are,’ and having that sentiment returned,” said Meredith Richardson, Esq., a mediator, conflict coach and trainer who creates retreats designed to help partners be their best selves.
She and her husband connect in small ways every day. For instance, they kiss each other goodbye and say “I love you,” when one leaves the house.
Ashley Davis Bush, LCSW, a psychotherapist who specializes in couples therapy, and her husband have a similar ritual. When they’re leaving, they put their hand to their hearts and open it out. “It’s a visual symbol of ‘you have my heart.’” Then when they reunite, they hug for 20 seconds, “long enough to stimulate the bonding hormone oxytocin.”