Comments on
How to Be Less Self-Conscious

By Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S.
Associate Editor

How to Be Less Self-Conscious When you’re self-conscious, it’s as though you’re on stage, and the audience is scrutinizing your every step. Rationally, you know that everyone isn’t watching you, but that’s how you feel, said Aaron Karmin, MA, LCPC, a psychotherapist in Chicago, Ill.

He gave this example of how we tend to experience self-consciousness:

Imagine being out with your co-workers. Everyone is chatting among themselves. Then someone says: “You have something on your nose.” As you reach to wipe your face, your elbow bumps a glass, which shatters on the table. Now, everyone is silent and staring at you.

“It’s as if a spotlight has been turned on you and the rest of the room lights dimmed,” Karmin said.

6 Comments to
How to Be Less Self-Conscious

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  1. mam margarita u share such a wonderful knowledge bt i already well known about it
    but the prblm is only i cant apply practicaly so kindly tell me how could i do it

  2. The purple elephant is a very limited example. The world is rife with absurd accusations that attempt to trample people’s rights. No human is perfectly secure. Even someone with no back story who suddenly starts getting treated as a second class citizen would eventually be affected by abuse. For example, imagine if men were suddenly treated like women: abused on the internet and even in the day-to-day, re-traumatized for reporting a rape, saddled with higher moral expectations and constant objectification. Inhumane treatment does not require a seed of psychic belief to have negative effects. In itself, it is a devaluing statement of rejection and disrespect.

  3. Thank you for the great uplifting article. I have spent the last 40 years hating myself because it seems wherever I go , I seem to find people who constantly put me down. It seems they do that to lift themselves up. My brothers and sister are so critical that I don’t see them anymore. My inner voice is so strong and never helps. I need to apply your advice and try to live.

  4. I’m only 18 but I totally recognize myself in this article. In fact, it’s like there was a voice in my head saying : “Shut up you’re wrong, shut up you’re wrong, they’re right.” and when I realize the inside oppression and the double hurt I got from criticism and my very lowering, to find peace, I finaly come to think :”Oh and after all, who cares? Let them talk.” This is like a war inside my own head and I litteraly feel the pain in my body. It’s like if I was constantly tested. Like if I was the author and the spectator at the same time. That’s a hell. I feel the need to be perfect, in vain.

  5. Really liked your post!
    There comes a point to nearly everyone’s lives when they came across a point of being self conscious about something. The main cause is because they’re afraid of how others would perceive and judge them for every mistake or flaw the individual has. It then becomes a total war of thoughts in our heads and we begin questioning our values in society. If you’d like to view some content I have based on these sort of issues, feel free to visit:

  6. Being self-conscious is a natural core of our own being, when you aren’t become self-conscious you aren’t to be consider as human being or even alive. You’re dead…
    Without consciousness you’re losing your-self
    Trying to live unconsciously is like trying to squelch our inborn countenance to be alive.
    Aliveness and enjoyment happens in our consciousness, when consciousness is besmirched life becomes tasteless, insensitive and boring.
    It is in our consciousness that the world arises from darkness and become colorful.
    Self-consciousness is not a threatening disposition to avoid, because consciousness is “YOU”
    You cannot avoid, run or hide from your-self no matter what you do because you are consciousness.
    You can’t escape consciousness as you cannot escape your own self.
    Trying not to be conscious is defying life itself which is the main drive of life is to feel and live by experience.
    Self-consciousness is not a problem. It is your thinking that needs a transformation not consciousness.
    How can you be free from fear, not by denial, hiding, suppression but.
    Fear can be overcome by facing with yourself… not from avoiding and running from yourself.

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