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How to Be Less Self-Conscious

By Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S.
Associate Editor

How to Be Less Self-Conscious When you’re self-conscious, it’s as though you’re on stage, and the audience is scrutinizing your every step. Rationally, you know that everyone isn’t watching you, but that’s how you feel, said Aaron Karmin, MA, LCPC, a psychotherapist in Chicago, Ill.

He gave this example of how we tend to experience self-consciousness:

Imagine being out with your co-workers. Everyone is chatting among themselves. Then someone says: “You have something on your nose.” As you reach to wipe your face, your elbow bumps a glass, which shatters on the table. Now, everyone is silent and staring at you.

“It’s as if a spotlight has been turned on you and the rest of the room lights dimmed,” Karmin said.

3 Comments to
How to Be Less Self-Conscious

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  1. mam margarita u share such a wonderful knowledge bt i already well known about it
    but the prblm is only i cant apply practicaly so kindly tell me how could i do it

  2. The purple elephant is a very limited example. The world is rife with absurd accusations that attempt to trample people’s rights. No human is perfectly secure. Even someone with no back story who suddenly starts getting treated as a second class citizen would eventually be affected by abuse. For example, imagine if men were suddenly treated like women: abused on the internet and even in the day-to-day, re-traumatized for reporting a rape, saddled with higher moral expectations and constant objectification. Inhumane treatment does not require a seed of psychic belief to have negative effects. In itself, it is a devaluing statement of rejection and disrespect.

  3. Thank you for the great uplifting article. I have spent the last 40 years hating myself because it seems wherever I go , I seem to find people who constantly put me down. It seems they do that to lift themselves up. My brothers and sister are so critical that I don’t see them anymore. My inner voice is so strong and never helps. I need to apply your advice and try to live.

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