Comments on
How to Stop Punishing Yourself

By Danielle B. Grossman, MFT

How to Stop Punishing YourselfDo you feel stuck in chronic self-punishment? Do you reflexively turn against yourself with anger or scorn whenever you feel embarrassment, a lack of control, rejection or failure? Do you yell at yourself, call yourself names, cut off from people who care about you or neglect your physical needs? Do you sometimes even feel compelled to inflict physical harm on yourself?

Have you tried to tell yourself that this pattern is not constructive, but find that you still cannot seem to stop beating yourself up? Do remind yourself you are lovable and valuable, but still continue to self-attack?

You are not alone.

5 Comments to
How to Stop Punishing Yourself

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  1. The article is titled “How to Stop Punishing Yourself”. It offered little to no help in accomplishing this. All it did was explain why people punish themselves, and some of the ways in which they do it. As if I don’t suffer badly from feelings of self-loathing and administer enough self-inflicted punishment, this has made me feel like slashing up. The author should be stripped of her qualifications and struck off the register if this is the best she can do. How many people has she pushed over the edge? If this article is any indication, the answer is TOO MANY!

  2. I know this is a huge problem in many peoples lives, but this article did not adequately assess the problem and give the help to those that need it.

  3. My therapist directed me to this article and my jaw dropped as it wrote about everything I was doing to the “T”. After many years of therapy I have to encourage reading self-help books and meeting the therapist half way and being an active participant in getting better. I have to say when that the pain is an energy form and American therapy doesn’t acknowledge this. I suggest Reiki or acupuncture, to help release the pain. When you start to feel better, like peeling an onion, you’ll feel the next layer that needs to be dealt with. If you get counseling remember to ask them if they can recommend book for you to read regarding your issues. You ultimately need to make the realizations and heal yourself.

  4. This article described me exactly – but didn’t offer steps or tips to finding relief. Granted, I realize addressing self-punishing behavior will take more than a simple online article, but I would have appreciated a few simple steps/tips to start with. But at least it’s nice to know I’m not alone in my self-punishing tendencies. …But nonetheless, thank you for publishing this article – I will search for others.

  5. I also found that while all of the description of the problems rang true to me – I do literally beat myself up :( … the conclusion of the article left me feeling pretty hopeless, as it seemed to say “Yeah you may not have a support network of friends you can talk to, however the solution is sharing all of this with your support network of friends. Therefore you are screwed.”

    Not helpful, made me feel more pessimistic about my future.

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