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How to Avoid Being Drained by Energy Vampires

Have you ever had the experience of having the life sucked out of you by spending time with a particular person?

I’m talking about feeling exhausted, bored, irritated, stressed, anxious, threatened, overwhelmed or depressed after just a few moments in that person’s company.

There may have been times where you felt guilty for having negative thoughts about that person — which made you feel even worse. You may even have thought there was something wrong with you, such as feeling a headache coming on or stressing over a work deadline. Either way, you didn’t understand why you felt so out of sorts.

If that describes a familiar experience, chances are you have been in the company of an energy vampire.

18 Comments to
How to Avoid Being Drained by Energy Vampires

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  1. My friend (male) feel same you are explaining here always when he try to settle a relation with a girl…

  2. Not only am I married to an energy vampire, but her entire family including cousins, aunts, uncles, etc are all energy vampires. Why do I feel that way? Well the moment I see them, I feel instantly drained. Through smiles, I see vindictiveness. As soon as I start talking, even a greeting, I feel them just thinking horrendous thoughts about me. (I am not in the Psychology/Psychiatric field) Everything I’ve done has had little effect on my wife. I’ve stood up to her, tried to be positive like I was before marriage, even asked her for counseling. Fortunately, the solution is as clear as day and after a year of coming to grips with this, I decided it’s time that I take charge of my own life and divorce. There’s no obligation to be with that person, however, my background necessitated it. There is much to tell, and this space is not enough. Let me just end by saying they are VERY real and they are VERY difficult to get rid of. If you see signs, get out early!

  3. My own family pretty much fits that bill for me. I live 3,000 miles away from most of my family (which suits me just fine!). But I have a brother that lives 2 hours from me. He’s the only one in my family that lives close to me. Talk about draining me, he really does!

    He has wanted to visit and stay with me for at least two days if he comes. It’s hard enough as it is for me to have a guest if they are pleasant to be with. My brother would not be pleasant because all he does is complain. He complains about my (late) parents who did not raise him right. He complains about my other brother and sister. And when we go places he complains about the service that was received.

    My sister and I are the only ones in the family that’s pretty close. Though I feel like that’s drifing away lately. She’ll often tell me that it would be a good for my brother and I to get together, just because we are family. Is that alone a good reason? But yet, she would never put him up.

    My sister is married with two teen-aged kids. She drains me also. As far as me going to visit her is concerned, I can’t imagine how much that would exhaust me to be there with her!

    Sad to say, I feel very guilty for feeling like this.

  4. What is the defference between narcissistic personality disorder and an energy vampire? And, since they can’t literally drain energy from someone, why do they do this? Very interesting. Pls answer though. Thanks.

    • By the definition that has been given…Good question my friend!!
      Read my comment…may go someway towards answering it.

  5. Energy vampires (I’ve noticed) also have the tendency to be manipulative and passive-aggressive, not just vain or arrogant. If they do something to hurt you and you stand up to them, suddenly they put on a “kicked dog” persona and make it seem like you’re the bad guy (to you and to others). Get out as soon as you can! Very dangerous!

    • Not all energy vampires are like that! I am one and I’m the nicest person you will ever meet. And no I don’t go “oh look! Someone to drain of energy!”

  6. Living in a small complex of 22 separate units, have been predated upon intentionally by extremely malicious energy vampires on a daily basis for the past 8 years, these creatures have the ability to suck the energy out from a distance, they can and do inflict pain if they miss out, sometimes horrendous headaches, the “electrical zaps” are the worst, can be anywhere on the body, usually the left or right foot/heel/sole. (i’m losing this battle and my health is suffering) can you help?

  7. i’m living with a toxic energy vampire with no way of leaving. i don’t know what to do with that idea.

  8. I have found that the difficulty or getting away from physic vampires is because they have the ability to make you feel responsible for the way they are behaving if their behavior is what is bothering you!

  9. What you describe, (as do others who pretend to know what a true energy vampire is,) are people who drain you mentally which yes can affect you physically.

    You have no idea…you are guessing/presuming…I am constantly a victim of energy vampires. What you talk about is a mental drain….that, I can handle, I have dealt with those types of people everyday, all my life. I strongly dis-agree with your assumption as to what an energy vampire is.
    The energy vampires I meet…
    I do not have to talk to these people I may not even know them. They only have to touch me, something of mine or be around me and I can feel my energy starting to be drained.
    It is actually a really nice feeling when it happens, this is why it is so hard to shake whilst it is happening, but it makes you feel very relaxed and lazy. Like getting a really nice soothing massage which covers your whole back and works up your neck and off the top of your head, Your hair even feels like its standing up? One has to dig very deep to find energy to continue what you are doing at the time or to get through your day afterwards, like forcing yourself to get out of bed when your still very tired….It has nothing to do with being able to cope with people situations nor problems in life.
    There are no signs to recognise…if you can’t feel it happening to you, it just ain’t happening!
    Only certain people, not all people do this to me, without even realising that they are doing what they are doing I don’t think? Both men and women can affect me this way.
    Having gone through this many times…I understand how they may have come up with ‘vampire’ legends to begin with.
    I am not a ‘passive’ person….but I am very empathetic.
    I am also an artist, musician and writer.
    This is what I wanted to know more about…not someones assumptions on what this phenomena ‘could be’ and then making up an explanation so as not to seem dumb. ( which I been seeing a lot of.)
    I am looking for someone who genuinely knows the phenomena.

    I got sick of reading on the net what people who had never been a true victim of this phenomena believed it to be, so I posted something about it on to face book.
    Within an hour of putting a post up about this on facebook telling the way that ‘I’ experience it, 3 other people came on describing the same feelings when around certain people.
    I didn’t think that I was alone in the way that I understand an ‘Energy Vampire’to be. But I didn’t expect mis-leading information to be given to others who obviously don’t know what this really is either.
    Now normal everyday people with normal everyday problems will getting labeled as “energy vampires’ (Even kids?) when they really aren’t…only by your definitions.

  10. This dosent help and is not true!!! How do I know? I am an energy vampire people! I don’t feed on your energy unless you really annoy me and I am one of the nicest people you will meet! So can people stop saying that energy vampires are evil!!!

  11. I have aenergy vampire in my life. In fact, I have realized it today. There is a way out, and you mentioned many of them in your article. In fact, I just opened my diary, and wrote each and every one of them down.
    yoga, meditation, cooking, personal development, a mentor, good job, a beautiful place to live in

    it is crucial to be self-aware.

    xx Eve

  12. My toxic vampire is the younger brother that has been living with me for 8 years now. At first, he needed help so that he could attend college–now he is having a hard time finding a job and cannot support himself financially.

    He has ruined friendships and potential relationships by being himself. He is needy and has ruined my hobbies by destroying my focus with his constant interruptions. The only way I can find any solace is to lock myself in my room–but as soon as I leave it, he will emerge from the basement and say/do things to drain me of my time and energy.

    I have been considering moving and leaving him in the house, but he makes it clear that he wants to follow because I suspect that he unconsciously needs to follow his ideal energy source.

  13. I get the whole concept of an energy vampire and all that it entails, but what if that person is your child? How can you seriously be expected to interact less with him? There has to be other solutions. And yes I’ve tried creating energy shield around myself but it helps very little. What now?

  14. I just learned from a wise friend that a woman who has latched herself onto me is an “Energy Vampire”. She sucks me dry, I am irritated as hell after being with her–yet she seems so innocuous and innocent and harmless. She “copies” things about me–my perfume, my hair, the places I go to, the things I do, my AA sponsor, my Siamese cat. And once in a while I catch a glimpse of her staring at me with a creepy gaze that I call the evil eye! I recently stopped giving her rides everywhere (she doesn’t drive herself)and let her put-upon husband start doing it again (lo and behold!) I really think he was enjoying the break while I was caretaking her and therapying her. I’m slowly learning that this phenomena exists and that I am very susceptible to it as I am a very caring, understanding, giving sort of person. This vampire also gives the “hurt bunny” look when I try to set a boundary. I was going to try just setting limits with her so that we could continue to be friends but I don’t think she can understand limits. And I need to not be so naïve in choosing friends–I can’t be friends with everyone–and I have to protect my precious energy–I only have enough for me, and barely that!

  15. Oh, a few other things to note: she is extremely self-involved, drones on about the same stuff over and over, is Bipolar 1–and is into it—and I get the feeling she is a jealous type who can never be truly happy for another. I think she cares about me only when it can affect her in some way, shape, or form. I hate that in my social circles that she is associated with me now by others. I have no real need to be friends with this woman—so I am walking away–but strangely enough, feel real fear and anxiety about that, and I hate that, too! She has worked her spell on me for sure. Time to shake her loose! Thanks for reading! xoxo

  16. A relative who lives across the country from me used to call me every week to talk for up to an hour. The day after my mother was buried (May, 2013) I decided to have a quiet day by myself and not go anywhere or answer the phone. The relative started calling me about 11 a.m. (I called *66 for the number) and called me a total of six times that day. I didn’t answer because I had spoken to her two days before and I planned to call her the next day, but when she rang the phone a third time, I was angry! I was afraid of what I’d say if I talked to her then. She called my brother, who lives near me, that night to ask where I was which infuriated me even more. She also called him several other times to complain. So, for nearly two years she has kept calling, the last time a few months ago. I sent her a few very blunt emails at the beginning, but then I felt that she was getting something out of that, so I stopped communicating completely. She lied to my sibling and said she hadn’t heard from me at all. She sent me a book I didn’t ask for and said (in a lengthy message on the new answering machine) that the book about angels was about “how we should be to each other”. She emailed me a meditation, to “open our hearts”. She won’t communicate another way because there’s something about the personal connection on the phone, she said. Apparently, I am to blame. She has made my phone ring 20 times in the past, until I bought the answering machine – which was a tremendous relief. She always seemed not quite present when we used to talk on the phone. I know I was bored because there wasn’t much to talk about then because my time was taken up with taking care of my mother. Now I wonder if she tried to drain my energy. I find it interesting that she started the extraneous phone calls the day after my mother’s funeral. Was she looking for the extra emotion? I’m truly sorry that I had to cut her out of my life, but I won’t deal with her rude, self-serving behavior.



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