The Self-Blame Game: An Obstacle to ChangeIn my 20 years as a psychologist, I have seen that self-blame is a major obstacle to change. It’s paralyzing and damaging and the enemy of growth.

Often, before I can help a patient address a problem, we have to first climb this mountain of self-blame, and then find our way down to the other side.

I have seen that the people most prone to self-blame are people who grew up with childhood emotional neglect (CEN). This is because CEN is invisible and unmemorable, yet leaves people with significant struggles in adulthood.

One Comment to
The Self-Blame Game: An Obstacle to Change

Before posting, please read our blog moderation guidelines. The comments below begin with the oldest comments first. Click on the last comments page to jump to the most recent comments.

  1. My habit of blaming myself for everything happened much later in life. I used it as a strategy in coping with unacceptble things in my life. My thoughts were that I could only change things I was responsible for.

    I’m realizing more and more that this has been an unhealthy strategy and I’m working to correct this obvious mistake.
    Debra
    PS: Yes, there was neglect in my childhood…lots of it.

Join the Conversation!

Before posting, please read our blog moderation guidelines.

Post a Comment:


(Required, will be published)

(Required, but will not be published)

(Optional)

Recent Comments
  • Kevin: Great article, thank you, it’s so easy to lose your creativity at times when you’re constantly...
  • Laura: Love this article!! So true!
  • Gays4Gals: Successful integration of one’s gay individuality directly into ones feeling involving self applied...
  • Bianca S: Awesome suggestions! Thank you for sharing these with your readers. I think most people say they want to go...
  • Marilyn Fowler: Wow. What a great post. You get it, and your knowledge and caring words can help many who feel lost...
Subscribe to Our Weekly Newsletter


Find a Therapist
Enter ZIP or postal code



Users Online: 7662
Join Us Now!