Psych Central

Recognizing the Signs of Domestic ViolenceDomestic violence is a far too common occurrence. It does not discriminate and can happen at any time during a relationship. It takes place in both heterosexual and homosexual relationships. It crosses all ethnic, social, and economic levels.

Signs of domestic violence often are overlooked, denied, or excused. The truth is that there is never an excuse. The only way to end domestic violence is to be aware.

Domestic violence can be more than physical abuse. It can include sexual and emotional abuse as well.

3 Comments to
Recognizing the Signs of Domestic Violence

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  1. I suspect my daughter is a victim of abuse and when I tried to speak with her about my concerns, she made excuses for her husband’s behavior, saying he’s usually very loving. She also said “he’s very protective of me”, “he was having a bad day at work”, “he has anger issues” and other excuses to explain his behavior.
    I need to know what to do to help her. I’m afraid his behavior will escalate to physical violence. She lives in another state which makes this more difficult. How do we, her family, help her?

    • Please get her help. I just left an abusive partner of over 2 years and it’s a terrifying time, but so necessary. Try to get her to open up to you and make sure to let her know that you are there, day or night to talk to. Even though you’re in different states, you’re still just a phone call away. Ask her if she has a close friend or family member to stay with for a day or two (while he’s having a “bad day”) or enough money and access to stay in a hotel while he cools off. In my situation, it was easier to recognize and open up about my abuse when I was away from my bf in the midst of a fight. Personally, if you suspect something is wrong, there probably is. She’ll never leave until she’s ready to or else it’s highly likely she’ll go back or get defensive because I’m sure the love for her husband is very real and very strong. Please, let her know you care and never, ever judge. The scariest thing in the world is fear of opening up and being judged or dismissed for it. She needs all the support she can get and it’s a long road to recovery. I wish you and your family the best. No matter what, nobody deserves this. I’d also suggest looking into women’s shelters and support in her area so when she does come clean, you’ll have the numbers to give her so she can help herself. It can be exhausting dealing with an abusive partner and trying to figure out what to do and where to go all by yourself. That will hopefully ease the burden on her a little bit. Most women’s shelters will take children and depending on your state (I live in MA) there’s programs popping up that will foster pets for free to get women out of these situations. That was one of my main reasons for staying as I had no where to bring my dog and I wasn’t leaving him. Good luck!

      • Jessica,
        Thank you so much for your response. You’ve allowed me to see the situation more from her perspective than from mine. I will take all your suggestions and advice to heart and hope it helps us through this. I hadn’t even thought about her cat, knowing she would never leave him behind. I am encouraging her to come for a visit, hoping that she will be more able to talk about what’s going on. I know that after an incident she is much more honest, but still reserved. I know it will take patience, non judgment, support, and unconditional love on our part to help her.
        Again, thank you for your helpful words. I’m glad that you were able to find yourway of an abusive relationship. It gives me hope for my daughter.

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