When you have a chronic illness your relationship with your doctor is second only to your spouse or your parents. Being honest (and you must be honest!) with that person means being able to trust them to hear …
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Fantastic post. One thing I would add is that not everyone needs (or wants) the same things from their doctor. You and I are fine with a doctor wanting “just the facts” and not showing compassion, while someone else may feel that the lack of compassion is a complete deal breaker. I think it is important for patients to be honest with themselves (and their health care team) about their needs, wants, and expectations. They will be much happier (and healthier) in the end. Realistic expectations are absolutely necessary for successful health care experiences, in my opinion.
Excellent point. Thanks, Stacy.
Absolutely the best advice I’ve ever heard/read about choosing a doctor! I was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease in 2006 after a year of riding the “diagnosis-go-round”. I was told repeatedly by people with lots of personal experience to go to a movement disorders specialist (MDS), but I hit it off with my neurologist so well that I ignored that advice. I have not regretted it; I’m feeling better now than I have in 5 years. This doctor has everything going for him; expertise, intellectual curiosity, great listening skills, and a warm and sincere “bedside manner”. I can’t imagine switching to another doctor just because this one doesn’t have the letters “MDS” after his name. Don’t get me wrong; I think that finding a good MDS is a great thing, especially if you present atypically, but I also think that Dr. Aletta’s advice to “follow your gut” is more to the point.
I know this feeling of not knowing what is wrong, last summer and now this summer all I seem to do is be in and out of the doctors. Currently they have me trying antibiotics to see if they work. If they don’t I get to go under some tests. But I trust my doctor and have had other doctors opinions so now jsut the wait to find out
Being patient with the diagnostic process is difficult. As long as you feel you are getting the right care you are right to stick with what your medical doctor is recommending for you. Many diseases are not easy to identify. Waiting months, even years for the correct diagnosis is not uncommon.
Also important is insurance, which determines what doctor you can have. I had fibromyalgia accidentally diagnosed – my Medicaid=issued doctor couldn’t even be bothered with my symptoms and refused to send me to a rheumatologist. When my symptoms drastically and suddenly changed, she didn’t even notice I had developed cancer. It was finally diagnosed at stage 3C when I went around her – to a nurse-midwife(!) who recommended the pelvic ultrasound that discovered the main mass. I had no other choice but this doctor – no one else in my area would take the tiny amount paid by Medicaid. I am now on total disability and covered by Medicare. I wonder if a real doctor might have got me well and back to work, instead of ruining and most likely, shortening my life.
Great article! I’ve been trying to get new doctors for a few years. Two weeks ago I found a diagnosing psychologist, but still struggling to get a psychiatrist to change my meds. In Ireland, it is much more difficult to shop around. The system is tremendously flawed. I hope I can use part of your article in my fight against the system! We all deserve respect and good care!
Thanks again for your courage to share this story and to empower us to seek competent care.
A couple of years ago I read a study that claimed, that after carefully interviewing many patients, many more of these patients than not, preferred a nice doctor with less clinical skills over one with greater clinical skills and lacking warmth, or good bedside manners.
I understand, or can sympathize, with the results. Just thought I share this, even if I cannot give a link to the study, because I thought this was both interesting and relevant.
Dear Katrin, I believe what you report and it is indeed relevant. If I were to hazard a guess I’d bet that the patients in the study were basically healthy and the doctors were internists, family doctors, general practitioners, pediatricians and/or ob/gyns, the front lines of clinical medicine. I wouldn’t be surprised if the ratio flipped when you surveyed patients with severe acute or chronic illness in need of a specialist. If you ever happen across the link to the study please forward it to me. Thanks. Dr. A
Good article, thanks! The importance of having a good rapport with your doctor cannot be emphasized enough.
For those dealing with chronic disease, you may want to download my free ebooks, one for the patient and another for the caregiver from:
http://www.serenereflection.com/index_files/downloads.htm
These books are based on over a decade’s experience as a caregiver.
All the best!
Nice post. Any tips for what to do if you can’t find a local doctor who specializes in your rare disease, and you can’t move?
thanks for the info
Cinderkeys, Many people in your situation do the following:
1) Locate the specialist they want to consult with.
2) Call or email them to request a consultation.
3) If they agree to the consult they will request your medical records. Some will request the records before they agree to the consult and might charge for the review of records.
4) You travel to the expert for the examination any tests they need and the consultation.
5) While the expert can’t follow you they could make recommendations to your local doctor.
6) Keep in mind this may or may not be covered by your insurance. Because it is a rare disease it is more likely medical necessity can be justified. If it is covered you would still probably need the blessing of your local doctor for the consultation.
I may have missed something. Any other advice for cinderkeys?
Several years ago I was referred to an orthopedic surgeon for a 2nd opinion. While there, he attempted to give me an injection for my bursitis. It was so painful I screamed and told him to get the needle out. When I told him that he was lousy at giving shots, he screamed at me that he has given this same injection to many others, even a 70 year old woman. Needless to say, I never went back. By the way, I have had many shots in both my spine and for bursitis and I have never had the pain I got when I was given the first injection,
When my pain management was going to send me to him for an evaluation for surgery, I told him that the 1st doctor was a jackass and I wouldn’t go back to him. my doctor smiled and is sending me to Cleveland Clinic.
As far as I’m concerned, the jackass doctor shouldn’t be allowed to practice. If he got so upset to scream at me, “he has problems” He was definitely not even close to a “good enough doctor,”
Dear WiltedRose, Unfortunately ‘jackass’ is not enough to revoke his license to practice medicine…yet. Good for your pain management doctor for hearing you and sending your to CC!
Dr. A
Oh, Wilted Rose, you are bringing up another huge and important subject that has a life of it’s own. A subject Dr. A may want to touch upon in her book as well, as this may make for a needed chapter.
Sometimes, just NOTHING is enough to revoke a doctor’s license. Doctors in general are really and literally self-destructive in their unwillingness to ever speak out against horribly destructive colleagues. (and when they do…OMG)
Their rule of ‘no say, no see’ is really neurotic, I believe. 90% of all lawsuits and complaints and ‘malpractice payoffs’ goes to those 5% of repeat offender doctors who do it again, and again, and again, and whose license is not revoked.
it’s such a sore place for me, I won’t even start.
Yes, Dr. A, what won’t kill you will make you stronger, or sometimes both.
One more thing Dr.A, and I think this is really important, also for your book. (of course, I could speak on this topic endlessly.)
…to never start and try to compare one patient’s condition with another on the so called objective plane…to really focus on the patient’s experience, because THIS VERY MATTER is among the missing links that is so very crucial and undervalued/under recognized.
The ‘subjective’ in research is a place where research needs to go and place more attention..all good research. Your experience alone with patients and your own life IS important research. And with the possibilities we now have vis internet communication, there we have a ‘gold mine’.
A variety of doctors are mentioned in the book
“Recovery from CFS – 50 Personal Stories”. It is a collection of 50 personal accounts from men, women and children diagnosed with CFS/CFIDS/ME who recovered their health to lead normal lives again.
Each author recommend books, websites, doctors and therapies which helped them, offer advice and some even give contact details for readers needing support.
Dr Jacob Teitelbaum, Medical Director of the Fibromyalgia and Fatigue Centers, Inc. USA wrote the foreword to this positive and uplifting book.
The book is available from http://www.amazon.com.
For more details and FREE stories from the book sent to you weekly by email, go to http://www.alexbarton.co.uk.
I wish you all the best for your own recoveries
In our hospital, the nurses ask this riddle?
Q: What do you call the med student who comes in dead last in his medical school studies?
A: “Doctor”.
OMG! That is so funny and horrifying at the same time!
That’s another reason I lean toward teaching hospitals. If your doctor is on the medical school faculty he/she is under closer scrutiny to meet certain standards. Not sure-fire but better than nothing.
I agree with you to these tips in finding a good-enough doctor. It’s very important to find a doctor that professional and you feel comfortable with he/she. More good-value will be added to a doctor that will admit he/she doesn’t have the answer but will work with you. Well, your info is beneficial. Thanks for sharing.
Great Tips.
I like to look online to review doctors and look for qualified professionals. Doctors are important and by looking on the net i can review profiles of doctors in my area. I use but there are many others that supply awesome information and resources on helping you to find the perfect practitioner