This guest article from YourTango was written by Dr. Lisa Kaplin.
Divorces always seem to come in one of two packages: slightly amicable or miserably dramatic. Most people prefer the latter, yet are unsure of exactly how to achieve it.
With that in mind, here are a few, useful tips to make your divorce far more pleasant than you originally expected:
1. Leave defensiveness at the door.
Defensive behavior will not only lead you to feeling rotten but will only add to increased tension between you and your soon to be ex. How can you tell if you’ve hit the defensive door? Watch for words like, “no I didn’t” or “you started it” or “that’s not true.” When you find yourself being defensive ask for a time out to get yourself together. Even if your ex is finger pointing, yelling, blaming, etc., don’t do it.
Take the high road. You will never regret calming yourself down but you will regret trying to change his opinion with defensiveness. It’s not going to happen — so let it go.