“Manic-depression distorts moods and thoughts, incites dreadful behaviors, destroys the basis of rational thought, and too often erodes the desire and will to live. It is an illness that is biological in its origins, yet one that feels psychological in the experience of it, an illness that is unique in conferring advantage and pleasure, yet one that brings in its wake almost unendurable suffering and, not infrequently, suicide.”
~ Kay Redfield Jamison, An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and MadnessWhen a person hears the word “bipolar,” his or her mind usually immediately jumps to the depiction of roller-coaster mood swings and lashing out.
Yet, this is not always the case with bipolar disorder. Bipolar can also affect your thoughts. Some people — like myself — experience a different version of the mental illness where many of your symptoms are internalized.
My illness varies from depressive apathy to euphoric mania which can be accompanied by a delusion or hallucination. I have not had the more severe experiences in about five years, thanks to therapy and medication. Though my journey to recovery was a difficult one, it is not an impossible feat.
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Site last updated: 18 Jun 2013
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Hey Gabrielle.
Nice to meet you.
I am also bipolar, atypical bipolar.
My symptoms and my story is not as extreme as yours but none the less, as you say, insight is key. Thank you for sharing your experience and helping bring this topic to light. I also started my blog recently. Actually 14 days ago when I started what seems to be a cure for me Lamotrigine. Here is my site http://www.hell-and-back.net/. Please check it out and leave a few comments.
And keep fighting.
Regards,
AA