This guest article from YourTango was written by Dr. Tina Schermer-Sellers.
The fire of love is a fragile and fickle flame. I often hear stories of people leaving good relationships because they have developed deep connections outside the marriage. So, how can you keep your marriage intact?
There are four, cultural elements causing marriage and love to be more fragile in these modern times. They are:
1. We marry for love.
We have been doing this for less than 100 years. Up until recent history, we married because of family loyalties, property, status, religious mandates and social tradition.
Love is a fragile thing … it needs lots of TLC! If love is ignored, the bond in the relationship will weaken. Inside this weakness dissention, criticism and distance grows. Love is like a small flame; it needs lots of consistent time and attention to stay strong!
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Site last updated: 18 Jun 2013
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I think above and beyond all things, the idea that your career needs you 24/7 and you have to put your life in the back seat all the time, for the risk of losing a job, is going to be the downfall of our society. It used to be that you had a job or a career to build the life beyond it. Now your job and career have to be your life and anything else is considered a distraction….
I think more and more people are going to burn out of this. It’s like running your engine too long at high speed with no oil.
And that’s a big reason for divorce and maybe it goes with the idea that men and women don’t think they need each other any more. Family was your support system. It was your team, your sanctuary. It was your tribe. People are built to live in small, functional tribes. And now with things like facebook, careers, etc. some people have tribes so large that no everyone in that tribe is connected. And maybe you start feeling more connected with other people more than the people directly in front of you because of it….
Everything is falling apart. Not just marriages. Thanks to living in a corporate world.