I carry a few different business cards in my purse. Because I never know what conversation I will have with a stranger at any given time.
A month ago I fetched cream for my coffee at a café in South Bend, Indiana. Naturally my family didn’t know a soul in the joint. However, by the time I returned to my table, I knew some incredibly intimate (not to mention interesting) details about the daughter of the man next to me who was reaching for a napkin: his daughter is bipolar; she was anorexic as a teenage ballerina; and she’s on some of the same meds as I am.
I ended up giving him a business card with everything but my email scratched out.
I didn’t want to have the conversation of what I do for living.
It doesn’t have anything to do with who I am.
And that’s why I get so annoyed that we have to start all of our conversations with that question.
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Love this so much! Reminds me of the article I wrote this past summer:http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2012/08/15/where-are-you-working-answering-the-job-question/
Loved this post – my identity is largely tied up with my job but I don’t think it has to be or should be necessarily and would rather like to get away from that. Kudos to you for voicing this.
This post comes at a good time for me. I’m entering the crazy ‘try-to-get-a-summer-job-in-your-field-when-the-economy-still-sucks’ phase.
I wish people were valued for being people. Alas, they probably never will be.
I want to print this poem on my business cards and pass them out. I am not living as fully aware and full of joy as I should be, but I am aware of this. I am the person who wants to know all of a person when I meet, but she’s expressed this so well in her poem. I want to know what you said to the man that brought up the conversation, and what prompted you to say that. I want to know the lives and souls of all the customers who walk into my Panera.
I love this poem too. Although I don’t mind being identified by what I do, I am so much more than that and, as a single woman, want so much more from the man I hope to find some day and this poem sums it up….
Thank you. Lovely post and great poem.
I too hate those four words, curious, is there anyone in the world who doesn’t?!
When asked, I turn it into a playful opportunity and respond by saying you have 3 guesses! Great fun and amusing to hear the judgements that have already been made. No-one has ever been near to it, so far!
i like natasha’s idea. good way to learn about others and get some interesting feedback on how you appear to them… vicki
I love the French couple’s response! I actually don’t mind the “What do you do” question because it can be a way in to what someone cares about. But when it’s the *first* question, you’re right, it often puts people on the defensive (or on autopilot).
I was at a networking event recently where the facilitator had us ask questions like “What makes you happy?” or “What keeps you up at night?” before getting to the what-do-you-do question. It made a big difference in the depth of the conversations… and the fun and connection too.
I, too, carry multiple business cards.
I think the response, “…currently, I’m breathing” would take some by surprise. I long for the day I don’t hate this question. But until then, I will carry a few different business cards as well. Thank you for the insight and love of humankind that shines through your words. I have to go buy your books now!
How Beautiful A Day When Kindness Touches It
Sharing Is Caring
Opening Up And Sharing Oneself With Others Is For Me A Way Of Exchanging Keys….Those We Need For Ourselves And Those That Are Needed By Others
What Do I Do ?
Share What I Am And What I Can To Help Make This World A Better Place
So To Speak….
We Are All At A Buffet Of Life….
All Chained To One Another….
The Difference From Heaven And Hell….
In Hell…Everyone Is Trying To Feed Themselves
In Heaven…Everyone Is Feeding Each Other
Please forgive me for not giving quotes to what I have just written for it is All from the many keys I have accumulated and exchanged
Thank You For All Those Who Have Touched My Life
I Am A Better Person From Each Encounter
Have A Joyous And Blessed Day
The poem sounds exactly like an expanded version of David Whyte’s “Self Portrait” poem!