Narcissists can be horribly frustrating. Everyone probably knows one — people who are so wrapped up in themselves, so demanding and demeaning, that they leave no room for anyone else. Sounds like a horrible person.
Yet, there’s something enticing about narcissists that pulls you in. Perhaps it’s his or her self-entitlement or know-it-all, does-no-wrong outlook. You’ve always been one to subjugate your desires, anyway. So, though you hate to admit it, your narcissist’s confidence and cockiness may be (or used to be) a turn-on for you. It’s amazing that your favorite narcissist can be both appealing and appalling.
If you’re not ready to toss your narcissist out of your life, you’d better learn how to deal with such a personality.
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Is this article for real? Why would anyone want to keep being in a relationship with a narcissist? These people destroy self-esteem and suck others dry, leaving pain and heartache in their wake. They are not capable of real love. This is stuff not easily healed from. This article scares me. It’s frightening that someone would suggest how to live with one. You know you’re with a narcissist? Get out and get out quickly.
Thanks for your comment.
As with all personality characteristics or disorders, there is a continuum. If the person you are with is a total narcissist with no other redeeming qualities, I absolutely agree with you. But what if your love or your kid or your friend is somewhat narcissistic. The narcissism may really get to you at times but there are still plenty of good things about this person. So, as I say in the third paragraph, if you’re not ready to call it quits with your favorite narcissist, you’d better learn how to live with him or her in a way that you cannot only survive but thrive.
Why live with one? Because sometimes you meet and marry while you are naive … and then, start to figure out what’s going on, make some changes and all of a sudden, WHAM. You find your children snatched, the bank accounts shut down, he’s filed for divorce, etc. etc. etc. Legal system and Courts are clueless, oblivious or both. Only way to deal with it was to come back … because we have children. Otherwise, especially if they are manipulative (taking advantage)or abusive, leave and don’t look back.
My father is a narcissist and dealing with him has become near impossible. Is there a suggestion you can make for how I can deal with a narcissist in this manner? I’m truly at a point where I’m done being manipulated and treated shabbily. But I am torn because I believe in the importance of family. Is there a tool you might recommend that might get him to realize and or care about how he affects his kids?
Living with a narc is very emotionally draining, they will drain all of your positive energy.
Try being married to a post-menopausal narcissist.
After struggling for three years, now, to keep things together in every way I know how, she will sit down in front of me, tears streaming down her face, and tell me:
“How can you do this to me? What kind of a selfish, vindictive, heartless and scheming b****d did I marry! I can’t believe I was so taken in! Why can’t you just put your self-interest on hold and be patient with me?”
If you are someone who finds it hard to keep trying when everything you do is turned on its head and thrown back in your face, you will eventually reach your limit, like I have, and arrange to live separately.
It’s not nice.