One obstacle to happiness is feeling resentful when another person won’t do his or her share of the work. In Happier at Home, in my description of the three kinds of “happiness leeches,” this kind of person is a “slacker.”
Resentment comes when you feel angry that you’ve been treated unfairly. But what is “fair” when deciding who should do what work? As I thought about my own (not infrequent) bouts of resentment, I identified these Six Facts About Shared Work.
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a corollary of number 5: “The person who cares the least has the most power”. Because they’re not invested in the work, its completion, success, or incompletion, failure, don’t affect them. so they’re immune to other person’s actions or influence re the work. Conversely, even a nominal investment in the work by the un-caring person can have a disproportionate effect on the work itself and the perception of others.
nice article btw.
Hi PsychCentral,
I am okay with sharing responsibilities in my work. However, I’m not so great with doing it at home. A huge example is with doing the dishes. We are supposed to take turns washing dishes. However, when it’s my husbands and daughter’s turn, it doesn’t get done. I’ve waited it out by letting them pile up over a few days (SO HARD for me–I hate dirty dishes yuck!) but I did it. It doesn’t bother them at all! Then, I make the last person who was supposed to do them wash them, so they have to feel the punishment of doing all of them. That still doesn’t work to get them doing the dishes. I’m frustrated about this when it comes to chores at home. I am running two businesses and don’t have time to play Molly Maid. I’ve also tried to explain this to my family but my 17-year-old and my hubby just don’t get it. It’s like I live with two teenagers. Please help!