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Best of Our Blogs: October 30, 2012

By Brandi-Ann Uyemura, M.A.
Associate Editor

How did we let our external situations get so intertwined with the way we perceive our self? The belief that what we create, for example, is equated with our self-worth or the way we look is linked with self-love. Instead of celebrating our uniqueness, we’re more likely to use our quirks as justification for self-hate or bullying.

On a logical level we all know that what we look like, how much money we have or our social status has nothing to do with our worth. But it’s difficult to convince our vulnerable selves of this fact. When people tease us, point out our imperfections, or when we don’t get the validation we need, the repercussions can be devastating. Low self-esteem, insecurity and even depression will not only prevent us from living the life we were meant to live, but it can sabotage our happiness. As we get older, we might lose our individual qualities because we desire acceptance or fear being judged. We may cover it up by being something we’re not, by making fun of ourselves to hide our insecurities, or by being overly critical toward others or ourselves.

The answer is to remember who we are and have compassion for our self, (worry)warts and all. As you’ll read below, it’s only when we learn self-kindness, self-compassion and positive self-talk, that we can begin to heal. In listening to what our bloggers say, you will begin to peel away at those erroneously beliefs that tell you you’re not worthy of love, success, and happiness. You will find that you are fine just the way you are. And those people that tell you otherwise? As author Martha Beck once said, “How others judge me is none of my business.”

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