Although science insists that crying is natural, culture still sends messages that strong men don’t cry.
Many parents raise their sons to cry privately, if at all. It is ingrained in many men that masculine identity means holding back the tears except during times of extreme grief. Although women have also accepted this view, more women are voicing their belief that men and boys should be encouraged to express sensitive emotions.
One thing seems certain, though: History and biology side with tears.
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As a man who is utterly ashamed of the few times that I shed a tear I disagree, however it is not so much that the conclusions are wrong; more that we have missed the point entirely.
The article makes the distinction gender-based ‘men do not cry’, but for me it is more age-based: ADULTS do not cry.
There are sayings, some even relating to religious scripture, that adulthood is about ‘abandoning childish things’.
Surely the most childish behaviour which we should abandon is the weak surrender to sadness. We feel the distress just as much as when we were children, but we do not surrender and submit to the shame of tears.
I do cry. I am ashamed of this. But my shame is nothing to do with betraying my gender and everything to do with failing to be an adult.