It’s not unheard of for either the bride or groom to get cold feet before the wedding. Some pre-wedding anxiety is perfectly normal and natural, as virtually everyone experiences such anxiety to one degree or another.
But if you have real hesitation and doubt about going forward with the wedding, you may want to listen to your head and those doubts. Because new research released last week suggests that a woman’s hesitation before her wedding might predict a bumpy road ahead.
Newlywed wives who had doubts about getting married before their wedding were two-and-a-half times more likely to divorce four years later than wives without these doubts. Among couples still married after four years, husbands and wives with doubts were significantly less satisfied with their marriage than those without doubts.
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This is one of those “chicken or the egg” discussions. Is the bride having doubts about the marriage before the wedding a sign of actual problems with the groom or is it a sign of a “mental dysfunction”. Buying a car, buying a house, going off to college, and yes, getting married. These are the kinds of “triggers” that send people with insecurity dysfunctions into the “flight or fight” demeanor. I was just watching a TED Talks episode. Barry Schwarts talked about how we have so much wide spread availability of choices that we are not taught to choose. So being committed to one choice is reason for incredible anxiety. Mates are not any different. A person who didn’t have a really good example of what a healthy, functional, loving relationship in their lives will even be more anxious.
Help!!! I have been divorced after 15 yrs of marriage only to be engaged after short relationship of 9 months! I’m scheduled to get married in 12 days and I’m having scared feelings! Still waiting to feel 100% sure! He is older and that’s playing a big part! I’m 36 and he is 51. I feel as of now we are great but what about 10 yrs from now what is he gonna be able to do and feel like!? I’m sick to my tummy with worry! I feel like I’m making a bad choice, I love him but I do not feel like what I did when I married my first husband”high school sweetheart” and should I exspect too
And I must add, he doesn’t look his age. When we met I never guessed he was that much older than me. We have been living together since month two of our relationship and we got engaged only 3 months in! He isn’t financially stable, no house, not much retirement at all! This is also big part of my stress! Should I look at money or love