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You Really Hate Me? On Taking Criticism (Real or Imaginary)

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  1. The learned skill of letting things “roll off your back” can be invaluable to ones mental health.

  2. this is such a releif to find out that im not alone. I got bad marks on an assessment and couldn’t understand why I was crying my eyes out, when another guy was a bit annoyed, but fine. Thank you for giving me a starting point on how to improve this problem. good luck and remember its okay to take the positive stuff personally!

  3. In a variation on Don Miguel Ruiz’ poison analogy, a favorite Zen teacher of mine often reminds her students, “You don’t have to take offense, even if it’s offered.” After the chuckling clears, though, I’m still mystified at how readily I go through life all prepared for some good old fashioned Fight-or-Flight!

    If there’s a good side to this predisposition, it may be that our sensitivities spark an interest into how the mind works. Rather than just feel like trash (or a predigested tuna casserole), we can be curious about why we’re this way. Trying to understand ourselves is a good way to spend our comparatively short time in this life, don’t you think?

  4. This was useful for me to read. I keep running into situations at work where I have to interact positively with some very toxic people, and I have to say that I’ve become grateful to them for teaching me how to refuse the offense they offer, while remaining outwardly calm. The next step for me is to learn how to genuinely not be affected, rather than what I’m doing right now, which is navigating calmly through the situation as it happens, and then going off somewhere by myself for a couple of minutes and having a quiet little spazz over it.

  5. I have always disliked that comment, “Don’t take it personally.” If someone is speaking to ME it IS personal!

    If I could figure out how NOT to feel others’ icky stuff, I would (as we ALL would)….”Everybody” says……etc., etc….but no one ever tells you how you can do it.

    I am highly sensitive, and unfortunately, the world affects me.


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