I’ve been repeating to myself lately something my therapist said in our session last month: “You can’t unlearn your progress.”
Meaning, I can take a few steps backwards in my recovery from depression and anxiety, but that doesn’t erase all the lessons, skills, and wisdom acquired in my past.
Those words are consoling to me the last three or so weeks as my boundaries crumble and I go back on promises I made myself not so long ago. I know that the footprints are going in the wrong direction, but I seem incapable of making myself turn around to walk toward healing. I’m afraid that I’ll lose it all — the knowledge, the insights, the discipline that I procured the last three or so years — as my strides reverse.
My therapist swears I won’t. And I’m holding her to her word.
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Sure one can unlearn, it is call forgetting. I speak English fluently, but English is my second language. I moved from Taiwan to Australia at the age of 8. As you can imagine an average 8 year old can command several thousand spoken words in their native language. I stopped speaking Mandarin as I picked up on how to speak English. As an adult I might know no more than 50 words in Mandarin.