This guest article from YourTango was written by Margaret Paul.
From radio and TV to parents, educators and employers, society is filled with verbal and emotional abuse. As author Patricia Evans points out in her book, The Verbally Abusive Relationship, the old adage about sticks and stones isn’t always true.
Just as physical abuse is wounding the to body, verbal abuse is deeply wounding to the soul.
If you grew up in a verbally and/or emotionally abusive family, you might not realize when you are being abusive and when you are being abused. Behind verbal and emotional abuse is always a desire to control the other person — to have power over the other’s feelings and actions.
Before posting, please read our blog moderation guidelines. The comments below begin with the oldest comments first. Click on the last comments page to jump to the most recent comments.
Before posting, please read our blog moderation guidelines.
Post a Comment:
Copyright © 1995-2013 Psych Central. All rights reserved.
Site last updated: 21 May 2013
|
Patricia’s book saved my life and sanity. Once I was able to name the problem (verbal abuse) I could begin to understand, and slowly make plans to leave. I got a divorce after 31 years of verbal abuse (some physical)….I recommend her book to everyone (I am the moderator of an abused survivors’ group)….one Ph.D. said that her book “is the cornerstone of civilization.” I concur. Her book(s) should be required reading for everyone on the planet.
I wrote about my life and am a Freshman at age 65. I believe we are here to make a diference.
This is an amazing article. Thank you for posting it. After 8 years of emotional and verbal abuse, I disengaged completely. This enraged my partner. Then the physical set in. I am lucky to be alive today… but I am recovering. It is almost like the verbal/emotional was not enough to make me leave. I had to get hurt physically to know that it was bad. I hope that this article is read by someone else and they are able to leave faster and save themselves some of the pain.
Very helpful, I can relate to “being competitive” as a form of emotional abuse. I was a student in a school where the grading system was based on competitiveness “grading on a curve” and I can tell that it was hurtful and draining!
Manipulators often play the victim role (“poor me”) by portraying themselves as victims of circumstances or someone else’s behavior in order to gain pity or sympathy or to evoke compassion and thereby get something from another.
This is a good article for everyone to read and learn from.