Recently, the Wall Street Journal had an interesting piece by Elizabeth Bernstein on The Divorcé’s Guide to Marriage. It discusses marriage research by Terri Orbuch (I draw on this research myself, in Happier at Home) in which divorced people were asked what they’d learned about relationships from that experience.
No surprise, they emphasize the importance of “affective affirmation,” which is psych speak for making loving gestures such as kissing, hand-holding, giving compliments, and saying “I love you.”
The fact is, people do feel closer to each other when they regularly demonstrate loving feelings.
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