This guest article from YourTango was written by Brock Hansen.
Have you ever been lonely in a crowd? Have you ever been perfectly content all alone? Me too. And I have also suffered from loneliness.
Loneliness is a complex mental and emotional phenomenon that has at its base a powerful emotion that has survival value for children. All of us have experienced some degree of abandonment, if only for a short time, and remember the painful and scary feeling that goes along with it.
Whenever we are reminded of this feeling or anticipate it in the future, we get a twinge of abandonment distress that we experience as loneliness. This can happen among a crowd of friends or even after making love. It can be pretty confusing and can put you off your game if you don’t know what’s going on.
Here are some tips for recognizing loneliness for what it is and dealing with it in the healthiest ways.
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Site last updated: 23 May 2013
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1. Realize that loneliness is a feeling, not a fact. I disagree….for me, loneliness is a fact…..A fact because I am lonely.
When you are feeling lonely, it is because something has triggered a memory of that feeling, not because you are in fact, isolated and alone.
Not true, I am alone and I hate it.
I got a divorce after 31 years of abuse and have been alone for 8 years.
It isn’t that I haven’t stayed busy and involved in life.
I have written 2 books, am the moderator of an abused survivors’ group, member of the American Legion, freshman at age 65, because I wrote about my life and won a scholarship.
Until I have someone to share my life with and love, I will feel lonely.
Great article, helped me get out of my funk and get outside and around people. Useful advice for anyone. The only thing I would suggest is to find someone to proofread – it will add credibility to not have so many spelling errors.
Thank you for ideas. Food for thought and action!
Sometimes you can feel lonely and have a lot of people around. I agree, it is a feelng, not a fact. And it is possible to try to cope with your feelins.