When I was a kid, I tried hard to hold in my true self. It wasn’t just because I was shy. I think a part of me feared the attention it would bring. As a result, I stifled a laugh, held in a sneeze and tried my best to blend in with my surroundings so no one would really see me.
It took me awhile to realize it, but I finally figured out that doing all of the above didn’t do much to help me be inconspicuous. Once, a classmate even caught me mid-laughter and asked, “Why are you so afraid to let your laughter out?”
Maybe it was from years of being teased or because I was highly sensitive. But I learned it was much more damaging to hold back who I was in order to disappear into the world.
You may think you can’t relate to this problem. But if you’ve ever kept quiet when upset or dealt with sadness by diverting your attention to food or your body you can relate and probably already have. It’s all about feeling disconnected.
We may fear being judged about our addiction, our kids’ academic failures or our inability to get over a traumatic event. When we connect back into ourselves, we may discover all the things we’re hiding from and all the ways doing so is inadvertently destroying our lives.
This week’s posts come back to this same point. To get better, to heal old wounds, to live a healthier life, we need to walk through the fear of being discovered, garner strength from who we are at the core and show the world who we really are.
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