I’m in the middle of a very interesting book by Paul Adams, called Grouped. It’s about how friends and networks work in an online environment.
Adams cites research by Liz Spencer and Ray Pahl (that I’m going to investigate; sounds fascinating) that identifies eight types of relationships, which can be characterized as “weak ties” or “strong ties.”
So what are these 8 types, and how do they relate to friend requests online?
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I guess I go with just have a few strong ties. I am introverted, so I don’t do well with large groups. I used to have quite a few “good” friends at my job, but since things had scaled down tremendously, those good friends are gone. Sad to say they were not replaced.
And then just recently there was a woman that I was very good friends with at work. She was already taken, which was OK with me. She is no longer working at the place and I really miss her.
She was a joy to be with, but in the last couple of months, she had a lot of bad things in her life going on and she was not much of a joy anymore. She seemed like the last real good friend I had at my job.
One time, about a few weeks ago on a Saturday night, I got together with an ex friend of mine. He had called me out of the blue. I had split up with him because of differences, but he used to be my soulmate. I came over to his place to be with his new girlfriend and a friend of his girfriend’s.
When I came at 8 PM they were having dinner. I was not aware of that ahead of time. After the dinner, we watched TV. To me, that time really dragged. I didn’t enjoy it. I guess it was because I felt like an outsider. Also, I did have some private time with him and he seemed to have changed; and not for better.
Your categories of friends are useful. In selecting my facebook friends, I considered what kinds of information I might want to post, and I only friend people I’m comfortable with having that kind of information. Some people I contact through Facebook email rather than friending. I’m not really one for giving a blow-by-blow description of my life. People who consistently update on two or three topics might consider getting accounts for each topic (e.g., sports, travel, or general comments).
Yes, Facebook connections. I had a married guy out of the blue contact me…through FB and we had just met at our 30th High School reunion. I was more friendly with his wife at the function…and he contacted me to have a sex chat! Wow. That led down a dangerous area. I met him in real life once and regret it.