“The quality of your thinking about whom you see in the mirror largely determines the quality of your life,” according to speaker and bestselling author Brian Tracy and therapist Christina Tracy Stein in their book Kiss That Frog! 12 Ways to Turn Negatives into Positives in Your Life and Work.
“If you change your thinking about yourself, you change your life — almost immediately.”
As such, the authors help readers morph their negative thoughts and emotions into positive ones and fulfill their potential. They note that developing high self-esteem and a positive attitude takes practice. In the last chapter of their book, Tracy and Stein spell out the seven keys they say will help you be the best that you can be.
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I agree with all of these. Another strategy I like is to think about what you want, not what you don’t want. If you only think about what you don’t want you will be forever reacting, as a result letting others determine what your life is about, you wont be happy or in control (I got most of this from the popular psych writer Dr Al Bernstein, ‘Emotional Vampires’ etc, I don’t know how widespread this is in psych advice, it may be common).
Negative people are also annoying to other people although they are usually blind to this fact, they may see themselves as wonderful heroes fighting evil all the time.
I don’t know how feasible it is to change a negative person, the ones I’ve suggested this to appear to agree but don’t think there is anything wrong with them, it’s everyone & everything else that’s the problem. I get the feeling pushing it would just be interpreted as another attack (to react against) for them.
Cheers
Agree with you David. Its one of the best strategy to be a positive minded personality. According to me, one should think only positive. Because nothing positive can happen with negative thinking.
No. Focusing on what you want means we’ll be dissappointed far more often than focusing on what we don’t want. Telling yourself how “awesome” you are does nothing for your actual competence. People who think you just have to “think positive thoughts” have no empathy for anyone and intolerable.
Besides, I rarely want anything very much. There’s usually something I don’t want.
I disagree. This is just a list of ‘shoulds’ for rating oneself or others or the universe instead of rating one’s strategies for satisfaction. For example, no one is positive or negative all the time, so how can you find positive people and surround yourself with them? We all suffer from depression and anxiety from time to time, it’s statements like these that make it worse by labelling ourselves as being a loser because we are not positive and no one will want to be around us. There is no evidence that there is any such thing as a positive person because when applied to people, the word is nonsense.
A Real Treasure
There is only one of me.
I am a unique individual, one of a kind.
Therefore I have value,
Whether I am young
Or old
Fat or thin
Tall or short
I accept myself as a unique work of art
Vastly interesting
Fascinating
Endlessly changing
Person
Of limitless possibilities (I think of Steven Hawking, wheelchair bound, immobile, scientist, professor, husband and father if I happen to contemplate my `inability’ to create satisfaction in my life)
Because:
I am always in this process of change
Therefore:
I cannot be a finished perfect
`Anything’ (Insert label here [if you must])
This imperfection (by definition) has no bearing whatsoever
On my `value’ or `worth’
I have value or worth because I am a unique one of a kind piece of very fine constantly evolving art that has perhaps not existed before and perhaps may not again
And in my mind, so are you.
So I take pleasure in you, simply because I want it,
A real Treasure.
Blackstock ’07