Whenever a teacher would say, “Today, we’re working in groups,” I could feel the dread bubbling in my stomach. For the most part I’ve always preferred working alone, digesting the assignment and slowly making sense of my thoughts.
I also rarely raised my hand in class until I mulled over my response in my mind (over and over). And even then, there were many times I stayed quiet, hands at my sides.
Today, while I love being out and about, I prefer quieter places and I’m happy to stay home with a good book (or two). I love interacting with people, but I have my limits, especially in noisy environments. None of the people who know me would ever describe me as a risk-taker, fierce competitor, quick decision-maker or multitasker. And I’m a much better writer than I am a speaker.
In other words, I’m an introvert.
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Great article and great interview! Psychcentral is a great place for me to go because of the positive aticles of being introverted. Of course there are some articles that are not complimentary.
I am introverted. I am a male aged 55; and all of my life I have felt ashamed of being as I am. It’s nice to read something that tells me that there’s not a lot wrong with me.
Yes, we do live in a culture (in the USA) where extroversion is reveled.
Wonderful article. Sometimes I have wondered if there was just something wrong with me because I have never been particularly outgoing and I completely understand that feeling of dread of being put into a group. I absolutely hated that. My biggest pet peeve is people who say “You have to watch out for the quiet one’s, they’re the troublemakers.” I’m not scheming about anything. I’m just taking in what’s going on around me.
Someone needs to write a book about an introverted parent and extroverted kids. Sometimes I feel like I’m holding my kids back because I don’t want there friends over here all the time. To much noise and it begins to wear on my nerves, but my 8 year old daughter, who is extremely outgoing, doesn’t understand that.
I’m glad to see someone gave introverts a voice. We’re not snobby or stuck up, which I heard a lot in high school. I just don’t feel like I need to talk for the sake of talking.
One attitude i haven’t seen anybody comment about but was my experience: i loved to read from the time i was 6 or 7. My Dad constantly chided me about it saying i was “lazy.” When i needed to have alone time, again i was told i was “lazy.” The only quiet time that was not criticized was when i was studying.
As an adult and at a stage where i understood “personality types” those experiences surprised me because my whole family, including my Dad, were introverts. I then recognized that his alone time were activities he considered to be “work”, hunting, fishing, he was a farmer and a carpenter, who did a lot of the chores by himself. My brother is exactly the same, only not so critical of others.
Another surprise to me is that i have not had the guilt that i see/hear introverts talking about. Maybe because i came from this family of introverts, partying for the sake of partying was not part of my culture. Even today large gatherings are to bind family together or to celebrate with family and friends. It has a purpose, which is not just to have a party. I learned to be assertive and say yes or no to whatever i pleased, except on the job. I learned to be assertive before i learned that i was an extrovert, and when i learned about tyes, it just re-enforced my attitude about my behavior as a positive thing.