I wake up at the same time every single day. It is 6 a.m. The birds sing outside my single-paned window, and my partner sleeps beside me. I close my eyes and work to will myself back to sleep: It would be nice to sleep until 8 a.m., maybe even 9 a.m. But I get frustrated and I get anxious and soon I have made my way to the kitchen where I make myself strong coffee and sit in front of my laptop.
But I’m forgetting something. It’s important, I’m sure of it.
I sip my coffee, turn on my laptop, and remember: My pills.
I cannot forget to take my pills. Disastrous things happen. Things I try to forget and things that keep me up at night. It’s never easy living with bipolar disorder but the medication keeps me stable, most of the time, and that is invaluable in and of itself.
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Just a beautiful piece of writing.
Carolyn,
Thank you!
This spoke to me in ways that I didnt expect this morning. Such similar stories we have. And yet I still wonder if I need to take those pills everyday. Thank you for reminding me that I am ok.That I am not weak. That I am where I am, and thats enough.
Written very nicely. Your story sounds a lot like my life
Thanks for sharing, you made me smile today
Wonderful column, beautifully written. I’m a recovering alcoholic (20 years) also treated for major depression during much of my life. From what I’ve read having two mental illnesses is pretty much the norm. I’m in a 12 Step program for alcoholism and I have a wonderful psychiatrist and psycho-pharmacologist who found the right combination of meds (Effexor & Wellbutrin)so life is pretty good today. Like you I feel enormous gratitude for the meds because I also have suffered the alternative. When you loose your mind you have nothing. I also knew someone sober seven years who stopped taking medication and committed suicide. Of course I’ll be taking medication my whole life but I don’t see it as a character issue. Diabetics must take insulin, I have other diseases.
Thank you both for the positive feedback. I sincerely appreciate it.
Natalie
Chocolate is an amazing help in this world, one must always find the simple things in life. Just think… The day starts with every morning, your conscious starts with every thougt, and reality is only a factor when you store thought in your head. I think its great to get up early when you have thoughts on your mind. You wouldn’t be an amazing writter if you slept all day, talent always come in the first four hours of everyday!
yOU HELP OTHERS BY YOUR WRITING. tHANK YOU.
Early this year, I lost a dear friend to the voices of mental illness. He stopped taking his meds. In four weeks, he committed suicide. For those wondering, don’t stop taking the pills.
I have another friend, her voices took her to the police the third time she went off her meds. She has never gone off again.
I recently have been going through my own symptoms mimicing mental illness. First, I was short of magnesium, whoa. Then as soon as I got that fixed, Perimenopausal Rage erupted, and, when I need the pharmaceuticals, I need them at the first sign of the rage returning. Just found that out, today as I’m still settling in to the routine and finding my doses. I was afraid to take my drug, again, the last time I took it, I didn’t need it, and it felt like two fists pounding in my temples…so…I think your body would let you know if you did not need the drugs… In my case, my symptoms are said to be temporary…but…my dear friend will be on the drugs the rest of her life…and…because of the drugs, I still get to keep a sister of my heart.
This was an absolutely beautiful article. I can relate in so so many ways. Thank you for sharing your experience. I appreciate how powerful your message is. Thanks again.